Articles for the Month of March 2012

Sooooo I’m a Clutz… Whew! I feel better getting that off my chest!

…Inspired by a recent urgent care visit tonight… I bring to you yet another window into my life… From the view of an ER….

The First time I can remember having any kind of emergency service (I was actually looked over by a police and paramedic, didn’t actually go in anywhere) was when I was 10 (ish?? Maybe?)… I had been trying to catch my escape German Sheppard … I was in a grouping of Oaks at the park at the end of my street and had caught up to him (okay really… He had stopped running in order to chase and corner a cat up one of the oaks) … A man walked into the oak, and started yelling at me (I remember thinking the things he was yelling didn’t make sense, but I can’t remember what he yelled… in my adult life, I have come to assume he was either a schizophrenic, or on some kind of hallucinogen) He chased me (For him to chase, I assume I started to run?) and pushed me down, gave me a pretty solid kick and let me go… I drug the huge dog home crying hysterically the whole way, and my parents called the police… after being looked over I went for a ride in the police car to where it had happened so I could show them…

…11 years old… Standing on a wall (retaining wall type of thing) in the neighbor’s yard and jumping onto the trampoline strategically placed below… I had done this so many times… This time after the initial bounce on the canvas, the second impact was the grass which I threw my arms out to catch myself or break the fall… Dislocated my elbow, tearing all the ligaments around it… this turned into (over the next 7 years) nineteen casts, two surgeries, screws and pins and artificial ligaments…

 12 Years old… Camping in the spruces.. in a tent with some sort of family (I don’t remember who) when golf ball size hail began to fall… Making a break for something more sheltering than a tent being pelted by the hail, I slipped tearing a huge gash in my shin..

… 13 Years old… Skiing with some church group… Hit a mogul … Torn knee ligaments… Toboggan ride down the mountain, knee brace for sports the rest of my life (never actually wore it)

… 15 Years old… Swallowed an entire bottle of diet pills (maybe it was vivarin actually? I don’t remember)… Stomach pumped

… 16 Years old … Car accident (driving this time… I’ve ridden in several others)…

…17 Years old … Swallowed an entire bottle of anti-depressant (Oh man, those weren’t helping huh – I never hurt myself again after this… It was a miracle I was alive… and I was ready to be grateful for it)

…  These are all melted together in the 18 years I was married, funny how age doesn’t mean as much when you’re an adult Broken Toes (Both feet … Thanks a heap for stomping them.. They broke continually after this, because they never quite set right)… Broken foot (Stress fracture… this is why I think I’m allergic to exercise)…. Broken fingers (Wild wind storm blew door shut on hand… oh and once in a fight with a desk… the desk won)… Cracked ribs…Fractured foot (Yes the other one even… )

 Rolled the car down an embankment once…

Spent 7 months in the hospital for miracle small child

… Hysterectomy, Gall bladder surgery, Scar tissue removal from gall bladder surgery… Dates with mr. frosty before the hysterectomy

… I was hit by a car and mugged at the same time (HA! That’s an awesome story)… fell down a man-hole (OH I really did… I couldn’t make this shit up!)

… Iron deficient anemia… Ulcer (Ha ha! Ya think?)

38 years old … Rolled ankle …Just a sprain… a painful sprain (I have a pretty high pain tolerance after all this)… This time  an amazing roll (I have learned how to roll not fall)… Chasing two beautiful little girls across a wide open lawn on a warm spring evening… Priceless… I am so grateful… and super sore… I wouldn’t change any of it and risk not being on that lawn.. Not being the person who chased those girls on the beautiful evening surrounded by the people I love.

12 Famous Quotes in History… That should’ve been Smiffbib

  1. I don’t know, I don’t care, and it doesn’t make any difference!
    Albert Einstein
  2. I don’t mind, i don’t care, i don’t give a damn!
    Lyz Mike Shamsul
  3. I don’t care who don’t like me, at least I stay real.
    Pelle
  4. You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
    Winston Churchill
  5. If you have anything bad to say to me, Say it to someone else cause I don’t care, I quite like myself!
    Rachel-erika Henderson
  6. I don’t care about three years ago,… I don’t care about two years ago. I don’t care about last year. The only thing I care about is this week.”
    Tom Brady
  7. I don’t care about my character here on earth.I don’t care about what other people think or say about me, all I care about is my standing before the Lord.
    Brigham Young
  8. Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.
    John F. Kennedy
  9. I don’t care how many yards you give up — if they don’t score, they don’t win. Plain and simple. I don’t care what they do.
    Champ Bailey
  10. If a man does not keep pace with his companions perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears however measured and far away.
    Henry David Thoreau
  11. Live your own life, for you will die your own death.
    Latin Proverb
  12. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
    Eleanor Roosevelt

Wine… or crack… Something

GChat –

Me: I need wine. Or crack. Something…

Mr.Amazing: crack?

                Did you really just say that?

 Me: LOL it’s an expression

             Crack… the expression LMAO

Mr.Amazing: let’s see… legal alcohol or crack rock… lol

 Me: not crack the drug

Mr.Amazing: I am laughing at my desk

 Me: :)

Mr.Amazing: I need some wine, or crack…

Me: I feel a Facebook status coming on

Mr.Amazing: lol  I can’t stop laughing, Eli probably thinks I am retarded

 Me: :)

Mr.Amazing: I need wine or crack

                Whichever

                no biggie

Me: Now you are making me laugh

Mr.Amazing: I could really use a sandwich, some chips, maybe some crack

Me: that’s it, I’m posting it on Facebook!

Mr.Amazing: lol, your dad would be like…

            “if you are gonna do crack, let me get you in touch with some people I know”

 Me: I know right?

Me: I totally just posted it

Mr.Amazing: ???!!!

                The new expression?

                Whatever are you talking about?

                  I searched “or crack” on Google

 Me: LOL!!!

 Mr.Amazing: first reference was “Nice price or crack pipe News”

 Me: I might LOVE to see the face of whoever sees your Google history

Mr.Amazing: second is … “Lindsay Lohan is Smoking Either crack or Meth, Says her Father …”                       

                                               I posted it on Facebook!

Me: I almost choked on my own saliva

Mr.Amazing: Damn I’m hungry, I could really use a sandwich or some crack…

 Me: LOL crack would suppress your appetite

           Don’t be offended… It was meant to be completely out-of-place … that’s why it’s funny

Mr.Amazing: oh… is that why? So remember last night when we were talking about SQUIRREL!!!

 Me:  KKhhhhaaaaannnn!!!

 Mr.Amazing: ROFLMAO

                             I love that

 Me: So funny

Mr.Amazing: 

 Me: ROTFLMAO!!! OMG! I want to watch the movie now

Me: Trouble with Tribbles

So Called … “Pink Slime”… Smiffbib!

Did you freak out when you read it?? I mean … We don’t frequent fast food joints often anyways… trying to achieve a goal of 75% organic in our diet … But when they announced the schools were using it?? I instructed the smalls to only eat salads at school… because let’s be honest… I will never be the mom that packs home lunches… I consider mixing organic granola… and greek yogurt for breakfast and serving it up home cooking… I begged the small child to not let his father take him to McDonald’s on his weekends with him… and if they had to eat that way… and let’s be honest.. they do… to only eat Wendy’s …. I work with this amazing woman named Gale… Who not only provides my body with caffeine in every type of way ingestible… but is fascinating to listen too… and she shared with me this letter to the editor she wrote our local tribune in response to their scathing report on it… and well… stop F*ing panicking… Pink Slime? Smiffbib!

From  Gale S Rudolph, PhD, C.N.S.

Letter to the Editor

Aren’t we elitist?

With more than seven billion on the planet, I applaud the food scientists who have developed methods to use all of the slaughtered animal.  Aren’t we to be “stewards of the planet” using all of our resources wisely?  I understand that 1 ½ million more cattle have to be raised to make up the deficit in mechanically separated meat (MSM) that will be discarded.

I’ve used MSM to make chili, chicken/apple sausages and more high-quality protein products.  Everyone can’t have sirloin steak.

Beehive Machinery right here in Utah developed the process and it is valued around the globe.  Yes, we strive to improve this creative technology and the meat safety.  But we cannot afford to dismiss it.  Clearly label the MSM and let consumers vote with their wallets.

Now… That being said… It still doesn’t sound good… I agree… I don’t want to eat it… But then she put it to me this way… Apple Sauce… We eat organic apple sauce at my house… Do you think that apple sauce only contains the white sweet portion of the apple? and it was lovingly hand cut from the core? or was it ran through a machine.. they cores it, and never claims to have gotten out every seed… and every little speck of skin… No… that would be too expensive… I wouldn’t be able to afford to keep smallest child in her drinkable apple sauce packages which she will drink as many as I let her a day… and it is so good for her… It is Mechanically separated… and it doesn’t have any added sugar… and it’s not something else textured and colored and sugared to look like apple sauce…  Okay.. So I am past the first issue…

….The second issue is this…. product is treated with ammonium hydroxide as an antibacterial and then frozen into 60 lb. blocks. I question the value of this treatment as the product is only sold frozen and it was used for the first 10 years without the treatment. In the last few years, Cargill Inc. has begun producing a similar product called Finely Trimmed Beef (FTB) and uses citric acid as an antibacterial. At the ground beef processing plant, the LFTB is ground directly from the frozen state and mixed at no more than a 15% level with other lean and fat beef trimmings before final grinding. USDA ruled the LFTB product did not have to be labeled separately since the original raw material it came from is beef. … Gross right? … However …

…If this product is not used anymore, the meat industry will be obliged to grow or import about 1.5 million more cattle each year according to Meatingplace.com My feeling is that USDA will eventually change the labeling rules to make it plain to the consumer which ground beef has LFTB and which does not. If that happens, I think a fair amount of grocery store consumers will choose the cheaper product with LFTB  because it works well in burgers or recipes and is safe. However, I do not believe the major QSR chains (McDonald’s,  BK, etc.) will ever use it again due to the current furor. Wendy’s has never used it because their burgers are from fresh meat only and LFTB is always frozen… Like school lunches…

So there you go … It is what it is… Take it or leave it… but at least know what it is… Smiffbib …

Mooooooooo!!

Elephant Girl: A Human Story

 

I read this is one night… being an insomniac that isnt as amazing as it sounds…

I found this to be exactly what I needed in my life at the time…

Sad to say that most of it was because I identified so much with almost all of it…

What I found the most engaging were the sections that talked about how she processes thoughts and feelings, and explaining how she was able to make it through each event, file it away and face the next challenge…

Excerpt:
 There are layers in this world: inside, outside, near and far, and hundreds of spaces in-between, and it seems to me that which layers any person might occupy is not solely a matter of choice. We are more like chains than islands. Our lives are not determined just by our own minds and acts, but by every mind and act we have ever known.
These two excerpts… above and below are the closest I have ever heard another human being describe what goes on in my head… how I process thought… How I watch… and wait… and experience life… It moved me.
Excerpt:
I take note of curved spines and scuffed shoes, work-worn hands, half-told stories, short pauses, hesitant voices, angry edges, distracted eyes and everything opposite. Such watchfulness is exhausting and yet it’s every bit as much a part of me as my own marrow—it is inseparable from either my bones or my being. I could no more stop being vigilant than I could stop seeing.

This is not a light hearted Novel… This is gritty gut wretching truth spilled into pages …

I LOVED this book… You have no idea how much…. You will be a better person for having read it :)

I’m not a number!

…. Soooo something interesting is going on in this brain of mine… I work in social media… for the greatest company in the world… and we started judging our online strategies and partners based on how many followers they had… and how many views something had… and spending money based on that… but then we got a negative mention on a blog.. .and sure enough… she had 60,000 followers… panic ensued…. I took a closer look… 60,000 followers… and no comments on her blog… 60,000 followers and I had never heard of her… So I began to do some research… I found companies that sell followers for an extremely low price… shell accounts essentially… and wondered how easy it was… In the sense of full disclosure I tweeted what I was doing and tested it out… Yep! sure enough… New followers… I went through the painstaking process of deleting them so that I wasnt misrepresenting myself… but then something weird happened… I got more followers… I can only assume that this is because I suddenly showed up on the recommendation list to a bunch of other shell account followers because I certainly didn’t ask for them… at one point… I’m thinking I pissed someone off by testing this theory… So I woke up to another 1000 followers this morning… and a coupon code tweeted to me if I want more… Ooohhh Proactive advertising of fake people… I stayed awake last night thinking about this… Tweeted openly about it… because I can’t tell who is fake or real anymore… and Decided something…. I am not a number… My influence is not decided by my followers… My opinion isn’t less important… and my ideas are certainly not less genius… So… before you judge me.. By my many followers (I think about 1150 of them are real LOL) …. In fact…. Reach > Following … and one has nothing to do with the other…. Next I will research the buying of Klout points… Dont tell me who the experts are… or suggest that I am not one!

So… Happiness … We meet again…

Gchat –

Mr.Amazing: How are you doing?

me: I’m alright… you?

Mr.Amazing: Doing okay, just wanted to check on you

You seemed super happy this morning, I just didn’t want to lose you to over-happiness…

me: LOL oh, I’m swimming in it

that happiness

Mr.Amazing: you that happiness

yeah.. you

they are so similar

me: I’m just working away, doing what I need too, and noticed something…

Mr.Amazing: what is that?

me: LOL when you decide you hate someone.. you hate everything about them… look at that bitch over there eating those crackers like she owns the place

LMAO! I think I’m hysterical

Mr.Amazing: Wow

me: I looooovvveee you

Mr.Amazing: So… are you upset with them?

I like crackers

Do you hate me?

So are you upset with them?

me: LOL upset? whatever gave you that Idea

I’m murderous… completely different

Mr.Amazing: oh

that seems healthy

me: Right?

Mr.Amazing: not really…

me: Meh… Bitterness looks good on me

Mr.Amazing: Uh…

me: I’ve been told I look nice three times

Mr.Amazing: I think you should just be happy

See, you look nice

Mr.Amazing: Sorry you are attitudey…

me: Its actually my best work quality :)

really

The Host Teaser Trailer!!

blink blink… double take… is that… OMG!! Look what is featured on Yahoo today!

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/the-host-2013/trailers/the-host-teaser-trailer-28696984.html

Here is the post I wrote about the book eons ago… and Why it is better than Vampires with Morals :)

 

Maybe I am Crazy… (original post May, 2008)

I am a little embarrased about my obsession- I am 34 years old, working in a very rewarding job, with wonderful children/husband, and am always striving to better myself….. So MAYBE that explains as I write this how maybe I struggle admitting my teenage like hysterical reaction to some things…..I know many of us have ranted and raved about the Stephanie Meyers Twilight series (So maybe my midlife obsession with a book written for teenagers isnt an uncommon thing)…. Maybe I was rather offended when in the middle of the count down to the new book, as well as the movie that she had worked on something else… Maybe I thought – How could she when all of us are waiting patiently for the fourth installment of the Bella/Edward/Jacob saga?

And then… There I was, shopping at costco on mothersday, spotted that book that new book ..There it was just sitting on the book table … SCREAMING MY NAME … Maybe i thought to myself… No way! Aliens? … But then again Maybe I purchased it… and Maybe I read it… maybe losing sleep to do so… maybe unable to put it down…. Maybe crying at the end … maybe not that little tear that escapes my eye and runs down my cheek…. no no…. maybe those overwhelming uncontrollable sobs… maybe you know the kind.

Maybe it is just where I am in my life right now… Maybe it just said somethings that I needed to hear, maybe it gave me a perspective on mankind that I could relate too, and gave me a goal of what I want to be like, Maybe it was BEAUTIFUL! Maybe it defined service, Maybe it touched on the deepest kind of love, Maybe I am still so shocked that I like this author SO much (maybe it is admittedly a little out of my norm) Maybe I relate to the characters so much because I am so blessed with people in my life. Maybe if I let go of all my weird pretenses about such a book…. and acknowledge that someone (named stephanie meyers) is masking these amazing truths in stories that young people (and old people apparently) will read… Maybe we are all being tricked into having spiritual experiences while reading a cheesy sounding sci-fi?
Maybe you better read it

And Now maybe you better see it!!! … Maybe then we can discuss …. Nature of man… Good Vs. Evil …I believe we are all the souls that are innately good.