Sooooo I’m a Clutz… Whew! I feel better getting that off my chest!

…Inspired by a recent urgent care visit tonight… I bring to you yet another window into my life… From the view of an ER….

The First time I can remember having any kind of emergency service (I was actually looked over by a police and paramedic, didn’t actually go in anywhere) was when I was 10 (ish?? Maybe?)… I had been trying to catch my escape German Sheppard … I was in a grouping of Oaks at the park at the end of my street and had caught up to him (okay really… He had stopped running in order to chase and corner a cat up one of the oaks) … A man walked into the oak, and started yelling at me (I remember thinking the things he was yelling didn’t make sense, but I can’t remember what he yelled… in my adult life, I have come to assume he was either a schizophrenic, or on some kind of hallucinogen) He chased me (For him to chase, I assume I started to run?) and pushed me down, gave me a pretty solid kick and let me go… I drug the huge dog home crying hysterically the whole way, and my parents called the police… after being looked over I went for a ride in the police car to where it had happened so I could show them…

…11 years old… Standing on a wall (retaining wall type of thing) in the neighbor’s yard and jumping onto the trampoline strategically placed below… I had done this so many times… This time after the initial bounce on the canvas, the second impact was the grass which I threw my arms out to catch myself or break the fall… Dislocated my elbow, tearing all the ligaments around it… this turned into (over the next 7 years) nineteen casts, two surgeries, screws and pins and artificial ligaments…

 12 Years old… Camping in the spruces.. in a tent with some sort of family (I don’t remember who) when golf ball size hail began to fall… Making a break for something more sheltering than a tent being pelted by the hail, I slipped tearing a huge gash in my shin..

… 13 Years old… Skiing with some church group… Hit a mogul … Torn knee ligaments… Toboggan ride down the mountain, knee brace for sports the rest of my life (never actually wore it)

… 15 Years old… Swallowed an entire bottle of diet pills (maybe it was vivarin actually? I don’t remember)… Stomach pumped

… 16 Years old … Car accident (driving this time… I’ve ridden in several others)…

…17 Years old … Swallowed an entire bottle of anti-depressant (Oh man, those weren’t helping huh – I never hurt myself again after this… It was a miracle I was alive… and I was ready to be grateful for it)

…  These are all melted together in the 18 years I was married, funny how age doesn’t mean as much when you’re an adult Broken Toes (Both feet … Thanks a heap for stomping them.. They broke continually after this, because they never quite set right)… Broken foot (Stress fracture… this is why I think I’m allergic to exercise)…. Broken fingers (Wild wind storm blew door shut on hand… oh and once in a fight with a desk… the desk won)… Cracked ribs…Fractured foot (Yes the other one even… )

 Rolled the car down an embankment once…

Spent 7 months in the hospital for miracle small child

… Hysterectomy, Gall bladder surgery, Scar tissue removal from gall bladder surgery… Dates with mr. frosty before the hysterectomy

… I was hit by a car and mugged at the same time (HA! That’s an awesome story)… fell down a man-hole (OH I really did… I couldn’t make this shit up!)

… Iron deficient anemia… Ulcer (Ha ha! Ya think?)

38 years old … Rolled ankle …Just a sprain… a painful sprain (I have a pretty high pain tolerance after all this)… This time  an amazing roll (I have learned how to roll not fall)… Chasing two beautiful little girls across a wide open lawn on a warm spring evening… Priceless… I am so grateful… and super sore… I wouldn’t change any of it and risk not being on that lawn.. Not being the person who chased those girls on the beautiful evening surrounded by the people I love.