Articles for the Month of February 2013

… One day more

I saw this for the 3rd time this weekend- I finally took small child to see it…Love

… It’s the thought that counts

mama kats

 

Tell the story of trying to learn a new talent or hobby that you only pursued briefly.

 

I wanted to be the perfect mom!

Tall Child arrived half-way grown… ¬†She became my daughter when she was 12.. She came with only a few things to call her own… but one thing she did arrive with was a dufflebag stuffed with yarn…

I looked at small child… at his tiny little two year old self… and begged Tall child to teach me!

I wanted to give small child a blanket… a homemade mommy blanket… something he could pass on to his kids… you get the idea… I wanted to be the perfect mom… I wanted him to have everything…

I invested in some Crochet Hooks/Knitting Needles (Did you know these were two different things? I never did figured out what the difference was or which one I was doing) I chose two different colors of blue yarn… She taught me the easiest stitch… and after much cursing… and poking her with the needle/hook… I got the hang of it enough to do a couple of rows….

Then a couple more….

Then a couple more….

<sponge bob voice> Six Months Later

I finally handed small child his scarf…

He loved it!

He roped the dog with it while wearing his¬†Indiana¬†Jones¬†hat… and swung by the banister with it doing his¬†spider-man¬†impression… he tied people up with it and returned as superman to rescue them…

Until one day it mysteriously disappeared and was never mentioned again…

because….fuck knitting!

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This is an older pic… but damn… we are cute!

 

How to make major decisions as a couple… Really.

Mr Amazing:  This looks cool 

51Tgem-VSBL._SL1000_

Mr Amazing:   It has a super nes emulator  & tons of games to download for free

me:¬†¬†Okay okay… Why would Nintendo let that happen?

Mr Amazing:  :  who is buying NES64 games? Plus minecraft is available

me:  I want it! buy me it!

Mr Amazing:  :  lol

me:  Not funny anymore!

Mr Amazing:    I no longer want it

me:  LOL!  I WANT IT!

Mr Amazing:    smiffbib

me:  Bratface!

Mr Amazing:   it has a SNES and NES64 emulator

me:  I want it all Every Effing Mario Game since the dawn of time!

Mr Amazing: Plus you download ANY game & try it for free even the $50 games

me:  Want want want NEED

Mr Amazing: Oh Kerry

… Donkey Kong 64

… Paper Mario¬†(the original)

… Mario Party

… Diddy Kong Racing

me:¬†¬†PAPER MARIO¬†I JUST DIED¬†AT MY DESK…¬†Coffee saved me

Mr Amazing:  Super Mario 64

me:  Buy Buy Buy

Mr Amazing:  It is being released June 2013

me:  We could give it to the smalls for their birthday!

Mr Amazing:  lol here kids

me:  and then steal their birthday present and play it

Mr Amazing:  now get the FUCK out of my way

me:  ROTFLMAO!

Mr Amazing:  seems disingenuous somehow

me:  It wants me to buy it

Mr Amazing:  I want to spend $1200 on a security appliance for home

me:  A security appliance?

Mr Amazing:  Yes, with IDS, content filtering, and anti-virus and anti-phishing built in

me: ¬†doesn’t¬†sound like a lot of fun

Mr Amazing:¬†It would make it so we could control where are kids go online and verify they never download crap they aren’t supposed to

me:  <yawn>

Mr Amazing:  

mx60w-mantle

me:  paper Mario

Mr Amazing:  and it would make our wireless signal awesome

me:¬†¬†paper¬†Mario… paper¬†Mario… PAPER MARIO YAY

How to get out of cooking dinner on Valentines Day!

me:¬†¬†I am going to make that Gnocchi and Veggies for dinner tonight… maybe if you are nice… I will add chicken

Mr Amazing:  Oh I am nice

me:¬†¬†If you are mean… I will add spit

Mr Amazing:  maybe you could cook the chicken in a bit of chipotle and some pepper and salt and maybe some olive oil and a touch of vinegar with some water in a skillet

me:¬†¬†Soooo Spit it is… got it

Mr Amazing:  Did you read what I wrote?

me:¬†¬†ROTFL! Yes I did¬†You are going to be lucky if I have time to boil the damn chicken and shred it… it is frozen… Let alone all that stuff you typed up there…

Mr Amazing: could you have Small Child put it in the fridge then defrost it then cut it up and then do what I asked?

me:  Burritos? Cold Wendys?

Mr Amazing:¬† Cold Wendy’s it is

me:  I am blogging that!

Mr Amazing: ¬†Don’t blog that

me:  I am SOOOOO Way Blogging that! Im entitling it- Happy Valentines Day

Mr Amazing: What would you choose boiled spit chicken and gnocchi or cold Wendy’s?

me:  Or- How to get out of cooking dinner on Valentines day

Mr Amazing: LOL perfect

me:¬†¬†I would choose “thank you so much for making me dinner after you work all day” That is what I would choose

Mr Amazing: I would choose “please don’t boil and spit on my chicken dinner”

me:  ROTFLMAO!

Mr Amazing:  I am hungry This sucks

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Creepy Fucking Kids making Valentines

Creepy Fucking Kids making Valentines

Valentines Day? Smiffbib!

The holiday of love when sweethearts celebrate with crimson roses, chocolate hearts, cuddly stuffed animals and candlelit dinners for two…Nauseating… isn’t it? ¬†Though many couples and singles do something special to mark the occasion… almost as many on both sides of the relationship aisle confess to loathing the sugary day of romance and the stress… depression… ¬†guilt and disappointment that bubble to the surface when it arrives…maddeningly…year after year.

I think the holiday is total crap

I think I always hated it… even when I was a teenager… and had a boyfriend… I always felt that it was really hokey… I‚Äôm not a teddy bears and roses stuffed inside of a ginormous heart balloon kind of person.

It’s damned if you do and damned if you don’t

Frank Sinatra got it wrong when he sang about “My Funny Valentine.” … there’s nothing remotely funny about valentines or a day honoring them.

The resentment definitely makes me want to not just ignore the holiday but do something as a protest … a statement against dinner for two and cheesy professions of love… Luckily I married Mr. Amazing… Who I think is secretly relieved that he¬†doesn’t¬†have the pressure… but finds other ways to let me know I am the one…. he will still will lose his train of thought… and stop mid sentence if he happens upon me getting ready not properly attired yet… I will take that as my romantic gesture… it means more than any bear in a balloon ever will.

meh