Articles for the Month of April 2013

Smiffbib Sangria… Seriously

mama kats




Prompt: Refreshments anyone? Prepare a drink for us and share the recipe!

Simple Sangria… Wow… This is the most random post ever!

Okay… So I don’t cook… but I sure love to eat!

(I totally cook … sometimes…  just so you know)

Well… I am no bartender… But I sure love wine!

Smiffbib Sangria … Because this whole recipe resonates with the I don’t care attitude – 1 bottle of white wine (I love THIS one! 3 cans of Fresca, add sliced fruit (peaches, strawberries, grapes, etc whatever is left over from the kids lunch works for me!! HA!)

Sip it… Fill a tumbler… bathe in it… whichever your style …




What! that wasn’t what you were expecting out of me?? Not enough Smiffbib in the Sangria??? Here! Visit my drunk tweet post… because… well… Drunk Tweets!


Mantra to overcome depression…

Vitamin D. Sunlight. Go

outside. Get a good nightof sleep. Not too good.

Not shades drawn forever
good. Not like you used to.

Open the windows.

Buy more houseplants.
Breathe. Meditate. (One day,

you will no longer be

afraid of being alone
with your thoughts.)

Exercise. Actually exercise

instead of just googling it.
Eat well. Cook for yourself.

Organize your closet, the

garage. Drink plenty of water
and repeat after me:

I am not a problem

to be solved. Repeat after me:
I am worthy I am worthy I am

neither the mistake nor

the punishment. Forget to take
vitamins. Let the houseplant die.

Eat spoonfuls of peanut butter.

Shave your head. Forget
this poem. It doesn’t matter—

there is no wrong way

to remember the grace of your
own body; no choice

that can unmake itself.

There is only now, here,
look: you are already


– Sierra DeMulder


Kicking in the general direction :)


Mr. Amazing: … so get this… I walk over to a Co-Workers’ desk this morning and lean against the wall and start talking to him, I realize he looks distracted, won’t look me in the face… etc… weird… so as I am walking away, I realize that my zipper is all the way down, like scary low… and I am like … OMG! run to the bathroom and then come back to tell you… yeah… okay, and you realize that this is the guy that I told earlier in the year, that BFGoodrich invented the zipper  yeah…


Mr. Amazing:  he invented the zipper Kerry

me:  I totally blogged that! (TRUST ME People… you want to read that)

Mr. Amazing:  good thing

me:  People loved it

Mr. Amazing:  yeah, I used to make you laugh all the time with my crazy antics, now that you know me better

it just causes shame

 me:  No shame!

Mr. Amazing:  Are you with him?

you look down

you are like… no

I mean maybe

I mean no

 me:  LMAO! never

Mr. Amazing:  who?

that guy with the scraggly beard and stains on him

Is that your husband?


are you sure….


 me:  Whatever, I think you are adorable.

Mr. Amazing:  Yeah, that’s your husband

oh… <fake laugh>

yeah… that’s him

<fake laugh>

looking down


 me:  Quit it… you know that isn’t true

Mr. Amazing:  ROFL isn’t it? you are at the movie theater


Mr. Amazing:  and there is this guy talking through the movie with stains all over himself and you are thinking, wow… he is amazing

me:  Yes, yes I do

Mr. Amazing:  ROFLMAO uh huh

 me:  Have you met me?

Mr. Amazing:  nope, never met you, how do you do

me:  Have I ever acted in public like I think you are anything less than wonderful?

Mr. Amazing:  my name is Dorkface… yes you have “acted” like I am wonderful, for which I am eternally thankful ROFL

 me:  LOL! The only time I acted weird with you out in public, is the one time we ran into a girl from work while we were dating… and she was all “I’ve heard so much about you” and I was all OMG! She is going to tell him how I tell all the girls at work how amazing he is in the sack! and I kicked her

Mr. Amazing:  you kicked her??!!! seriously??

me:  You don’t remember?

Mr. Amazing:  OMG, that was weird

me:  ROTFL!

Mr. Amazing:   no, I don’t remember you kicking her, I remember her being awkward and running away

me:  I kicked in her general direction

Mr. Amazing:  now I know why

 me:  LMAO!


Ode to Freddy …

Hey… Sometimes you just have to go with it… this not sleeping thing… This isn’t my first Krueger reference … and I am sure it won’t be my last.

I love him! Freddy Krueger may be the best dreamed up character out there… He doesn’t amble around slowly with a dumb mask…  and he’s not a made up monster or a possessed animal or a crazy girl who kills puppies…  He is a guy who can kill people in their dreams…. Everyone sleeps and dreams! He is an equal opportunity slasher!

What is great about Freddy is the thin line between dreams and reality… Freddy may be in their dreams but he can kill them in real life. What a badass!

This also happens to be Johnny Depp’s very first movie (Who I am also enamored with… and Mario… don’t even get me started on my “trapped in a love triangle” with him and Luigi drama). He plays Nancy’s boyfriend and just doesn’t take this whole not sleeping thing as seriously as Nancy. One of the most famous scenes is his death scene and I must say it is pretty awesome although…there does seem to be a little too much blood for one little adorable young Johnny Depp… I am pretty sure that blood is rum… and that is why it’s always gone. (What… I haven’t slept well)

I also enjoy the scene where Nancy’s mother takes her to the sleep clinic to figure out what’s wrong. They watch her on the monitor and once she goes into REM her heart rate is off the charts. She begins wildly thrashing and her mother and the doctor rush in. Nancy’s hair has turned white and she’s clutching Freddy’s hat in her hand… A hat! that even has the name Fred Krueger sewn into it… I wonder if he does his own sewing? Anyways, later, Nancy’s mom brings her down to the basement where she takes a small bundle out of the furnace. She tells Nancy about how a while back there was a child murderer named Fred Krueger who used to take his victims to an old boiler room and kill them. He managed to kill about 20 kids before the parents of the community became outraged and decided to burn him alive in boiler room. Lucky for Nancy’s mom, she got to keep his knife fingers, which she believes is proof that he can’t come back and kill Nancy… But of course he can… And also why would you ever keep a child murderers knife fingers? Sick.


He’s witty and mean, and has such a gross face that he doesn’t need a scary mask. He also likes to wear stripes and a stylish hat. What’s not to love?

It is what it is…

Sooooo I am still swimming in the sea of the funk… I haven’t wanted to write… if your a regular… you have been through these with me before.

I looked at the writing prompts for this week from …mama kats

big sigh… I just didn’t think I could do it… but I chose this one…

 Look into your archives. What were you blogging about a year ago around this time? Are you still dealing with the same thing? Your thoughts?

Suddenly… after reading through this  week last year…I feel a whole lot less crazy.

This year vs. last

Last Year – Being stuck in an insomniac filled panic attack ridden funk…. Check!

This Year – Being stuck in an insomniac filled panic attack ridden funk…. Check!

This year however I am not in as bad of shape with the knee,. In fact I am sometimes even making it to the gym… I said sometimes…  I am going way longer between night terrors <Knocking on ALL the woods right now> and my nights of insomnia are farther and fewer in between… even if I forget that in the midst of them… They feel scarier because they are less familiar… but the reality is… It is so much better!

Last year I didn’t care enough to try to get to the bottom of my panic attacks… I figured they were justified completely… considering all the going ons…

This year I cared. I cared too much. I had anxiety over having anxiety! I have made every attempt to alleviate it… these dread filled heart pounding hand shaking not sleeping short tempered disassociated moments… I have walked… talked… read… listened to music… painted… loosened up those expectations on myself …

Let’s read that again… I did those things!

I continued to read past that least week of April last year… and guess what… things got better… they go up and down… I go up and down… its what keeps me interesting… This will get better too…

Hey… hey you… I do not know if you are still reading this… I don’t think I came to really any kind of a point… There was no AHA! moment… no light at the end of the tunnel …This is horrible content for a blog… but it is the content of my life… So if you are still here… Arms-Tattoos-To-Write-Love-On-Her-Arms1_large








I wont forget either 🙂


Sorry excuse for a post… really

All I seem to do lately is apologize…

I have been irritable… moody… discontent.

I have a horrible habit of misdirecting angry outbursts at inappropriate times and places.

I am tired… exhausted to the bone… the kind of tired that sleep doesn’t fix.

I have felt trapped by obligations…

I have fallen into this spiraling victim mode… where everything is out to get me.

I have felt gross… do you know that feeling… when just everything about yourself feels gross? <shrugs> maybe that only happens to me.

I have been lashing out at my lot in life… the life that I have striven for… dreamed of… worked so hard to get.

I cannot ever seem to get ahead.

In short… I am burned out.

I’m sorry… Because in reality… I know I am so blessed… and have the greatest friends in the entire world… who have been there for me… always… I know I am loved… So much is going on in the world… and I cannot seem to see past the trees to the forest… I know this will pass…

This post… which is the most I am capable of recently… is inspired by the writing prompt “Tell us about a time you had to apologize”

mama kats



Wine vs. Whine

Wine and whining

Wine and whining

Sometimes… its easier to accept the wine… than the whining 🙂