MAKE ME A SAMMICH…. Dammit!

mama kats  You know you’re getting old because…

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My Red Dress Moment- In the Bloggess’s Red Dress 🙂

So next week is my 40th birthday. Funny… I don’t feel older.

Although if I’m honest, my body has been telling me, “Hey Kerry! You’re 40!” for the last year. I’ve gotten more injuries in the last year- my foot, my knee… Shit… I don’t even know what all happened. I just hurt. Why? Does it (it being this body) know that I’m turning 40?  I exercise more, eat less, weigh more… and care about it less!… I don’t lean over and pick something up unless it’s really important. Leaning over or squatting down takes an overwhelming amount of energy at age 40. I am constantly calculating “risk vs. reward.” A pencil? Nope. The dog can just chew it. A $20 bill? Maybe… My bills, my hair-loss and my check marks off that bucket list are all way more… My tolerance for teenage attitude… way lower!  I now get up twice every night to go to the bathroom… up from once a night, starting at age 30. At this rate I’m just going to save time by sleeping on the toilet at age 60!... Whenever I get a new game console… dvd player… anything…  I just give it to my kids to set it up for me…. I eat several different cereals… but they all have the word “Fiber” in the title.

Wow, I sound decrepit !

Sigh… life at 40.

Shit! Life at 40???

Life at 40… Alive at 40!!!  I know for a fact that cash bets were placed in high school on whether I would live to see the age of 21, which at the time seemed completely unfathomable…

Then I turned 25

Then 30…

I just kinda figured I was on a streak… kinda figured I would see what happened next…. and here we are.

p.s I didn’t demand that you make me a sammich… The world did… Do you want to hurt the credibility of the entire world? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

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4 comments on “MAKE ME A SAMMICH…. Dammit!

  1. Tolman

    Ciabatta Bread
    Condiment
    Avocado
    Tomato
    Lettuce
    Turkey Bacon
    Turkey
    Cheese
    Condiment
    Ciabatta Bread

    1. Kerry

      Bahahaha! Oh you’re a clever one!

  2. Dyanne @ I Want Backsies

    Just wait. The eyes start to go at 40 and you will find your arms aren’t long enough, nor the light bright enough, to read restaurant menus, pill bottles, etc.

    1. Kerry

      Bahahahaha thanks! Something to look forward too…. I just spent all weekend reading the size on T-shirts to older ladies that couldn’t see it…. Now I know what is next.