mama katsCapture a conversation shared between kids.

I am cheating… lets just get that out of the way right now… because there is a conversation that happened tonight … between Small Child and Mr. Amazing (Who I understand technically is not a  kid… but he plays video games… and makes up song lyrics about pooping… and twerks … so I rest my case) … and I am going to have to paraphrase a bit… even though this took place only an hour and a half ago… memories get sketchy under great duress… so you get the following

Mr Amazing: Dude, that stache has got to go… Like tonight… I can’t let you go to school again with that on your face… I will get one of your moms razors and some soap and do it if I have too

Small Child: REALLY? Because she won’t let me shave!!

Me: <Nothing because I am DYING INSIDE>

Mr Amazing: He needs to shave it tonight

Small Child: I’ll get the shaving kit!

Tall child gave him this as a gift when he was 12 much to his delight, and much to my dismay, which I promptly took away and “hid” in the top of the hall closet, apparently not fooling anyone because he got it right away

Mr Amazing: You have to charge it first

Small Child flips the switch and it buzz’s to life… assholes.

Mr Amazing: Curl your lip like this and go up and down over it until you get all the hair off

Small Child: Does it hurt?

Mr Amazing: No, its just like getting a hair cut

Small Child: I’m Nervous!

He walks into the bathroom, does the weird poke his lip out wrapping it around his teeth face at the mirror and begins BUTCHERING my very SOUL… I hear the hair cutting from his face… that I had been properly ignoring for the last 30 days or so… as the “peach fuzz” turned  brown and no matter how many times I told him to wash his face it just wouldn’t come off

Mr Amazing: You missed a spot!!

Small Child: Did I get it?

Mr Amazing: Hold still … gimme that…

Small Child: I got this!

More buzzing

Mr Amazing: There! Looks much better!

Small Child: Can I use aftershave

AFTER SHAVE??? HE HAS AFTER SHAVE??? Apparently he does! Because he comes back all man smelling.

Me: We are celebrating this manhood with Gingerbread shakes!

Translation: Im eating my feelings… with a Gingerbread Shake!

THE END (of my story, and the conversation, and my sanity and HIS CHILDHOOD! Dammit)

Stach

Tagged with:
 

4 Responses to Death of the Stache

  1. Michelle says:

    I’m on the other side. My 18 year old has decided he wants to grow a mustache….It’s been a long 4 months of watching it barely do anything. I wish he’d shave like I used to wish he wouldn’t even start!

  2. Kat says:

    Thank goodness for dads who can step up and get’er done!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>