Articles for the Month of February 2014

Only Human…

This has been one of those stuck in my head all week… I relate all too much


The Fault in our stars… a Novel by John Green

Every once in a while I take a break from reading the end of the world Sci-fi, Apocalyptic stuff I normally read… The first said break was “Brain on Fire” by Susannah Callahan… Which was amazing, and I would recommend it to anyone who has an interest in psychology or writing, it was well done, and the first half of the book was utterly terrifying and I kept imagining myself as having some of her early symptoms… the second half was fascinating, and very detailed, which is the kind of book it was and it was done very well. I would recommend it…. But that is not the book that changed my life this year (A bit of a dramatic statement considering it is only the end of February, but still)…

The Fault in our stars… a review from a 40 year old perspective.

I heard the young girls in the office talking about it… I read the synopsis for the movie on IDMB…  when I went to purchase it for my kindle it recommended other books for me like “perks of being a wall flower” and “Eleanor and Park” which I am positive are fantastic books… but YA Romance is not really my thing… I downloaded it anyways… even more convinced now that I would not like it…. I read it with in the weekend.

Rather than give you the rundown on the story line, which can be found on the back of the book cover if you are in the store… or on good reads… amazon… ect. Let me give you a rundown of life changing realizations.

#1 – Everything that I think is important to teach my children would change if they were terminally ill…. That being said… Why am I so focused on those things… I do not want to have to be dying… or confronted with inevitable death of a loved one to see what truly matters… Turning in that essay for english… meeting some girl at the library… Sophomore orientation… practicing the piano… all of these daily nags… constant reminders… parenting things I do would not matter at all… I would want him to play the piano only if he was moved to do so… I would want him to spend more time with that girl at the library… less time on the essay about Romeo and Juliet and more time reading Shakespears other works. I would talk less about cleaning his room and have conversations about art… music… love. I would make breakfast for dinner more often… I would work less…I would take him to the symphonies still… we would still have our drives… and dance in the car like we do… I would talk to him about politics… and not protect him as much. I would treat him differently… try to make his life more full… experience more…. I will work on this.

#2 – I never question what happens next… for example… I do not have the imagination to think of characters outside of the pages of the book I am reading… in the book… Hazel Grace writes her favorite author… she demands answers of the other characters … where did they go… did they marry? did they die? … With books and like so much else in my life… I take what is presented at face value… I do not question why… or how.. and when it is over… I close the book (or these days, shut off the kindle) and forget about those people that I loved, envied or despised almost instantaneously and go back to the routine… shower… coffee… work… dinner… lessons… bed… and though I am moved while I escape in the words… I don’t keep the movement fluid in my life… that is heartbreaking really… because so much of myself… what defines me… had been discovered in a book…. and I demand to know the following… What happened with Hazel Grace, I know she dies… but how.. and who else’s life does she alter with her friendship… How does her mom cope with the loss… does she finish school…. follow her aspirations… and her father… Does he find a way to go on…. Does the blind boy and his girlfriend ever reconcile with each other… even become amicable? does he find love again? What does his adult life look like?

#3 – Support groups are entirely underrated… I should find one… Something outside of this computer … this blog… social media in general. I should belong to something.

#4 – I have an affinity for books that talk about stars… I forget how much I love them… I forget to drive up away from the city and look at them… I will do this more often…. I know that sounds so simple.. but that is why I read the book… simply the title.

#5 – I want to hold the thing that can kill me, and take away its ability to… I want that fear removed from my life. I want a metaphor for my existence.

I never once got that sappy feeling when the kids fell in love… I didn’t weep when Augustus died… I wish I had. I wish I had been moved to tear… I think something is wrong with me. I did weep however when she climbed all of those stairs … because she owed it to Anne Frank… I was moved.

I hated the fact that the author came to America… somewhere in my mind I thought that they were imagining it… it was too much.

I related to the horrible things he said… I related to having a drunk in my life disappoint me. Expectations are a vice…

I loved the book… Read it… share your thoughts.

“Oh, the night makes you a star
And it holds you cold in its arms
You’re the one to whom nobody verses I love you
Unless you say it first
So you lie there holding your breath
And it’s strange how soon you forget
That you’re like stars
They only show up when it’s dark
Cause they don’t know their worth” (Shine – Anna Nalick)

The fault in our stars




Slurpees on Saturday.

Me: Saturday is all good to go still. If <insert adorable niece anonymity here> falls off the bed, imma punch her in da face… I am ready for a night with no kiddos I think…

Mr. Amazing:  OMG I know, Lots of kids. Thanks for asking, I appreciate it, It will be nice to have a night with just the two of us, That way I can upset you without the smalls mocking me


me:  Bahahaha!!! Sounds like a romantic evening


Mr. Amazing:  Well, we all know the universal constant, I will do something stupid


me:  No uh, you do not…Quit that…You are amazing and I miss having slurpees with you


Mr. Amazing:  lol we have a night scheduled for it now


me:  ROTFL!


Mr. Amazing: Let me just pencil that in


me:  BAHAHAH! I was just trying to make you blush!


Mr. Amazing:  There, I put it on the calendar


me:  You behave


Mr. Amazing:   Slurpees with wife between 10 PM and 8 AM


me:  That long?


Mr. Amazing:  Just covering my bases


me:  BAHAHAH! okay okay, stop


Mr. Amazing:   I wouldn’t want something to get scheduled on top of that


me:  Oh comeon! just once let me shock you!


Mr. Amazing:  I am shocked


me:  bratface

Mr. Amazing:  seriously though it’s scheduled I set a 1 hour reminder  It’s a new moon on the 1st That’s also on my calendar




Mr. Amazing:   it just says “Slurpees with Wife”


me:  ROTFLMAO! You know whats gonna happen now dontcha?


Mr. Amazing:   We won’t be able to I’m taking it off of my calendar just in case no offense


me:  ROTFL!!! Im Blogging this!

Mr. Amazing:  No you are not

me:  Ummmm Still blogging it


Mr. Amazing  nope I don’t need my mother to know what my slurpee schedule is, Oh Jeebus don’t blog it

I am going to create a blog called”Don’t Blog It!”

me:  What if I swap out the word sex for slurpees!!!


Frozen: Letting Go

I know.. .I know! Believe me I know that I shouldn’t waste my time getting drawn into this… I know that it is energy spent on something that shouldn’t be given… I read it yesterday… much like everyone else I would assume… and at first I laughed… Then my irritation grew… and as the day wore on I just couldn’t shake it… the words had settled in my skin… and my least favorite feeling in this myriad of emotions I go through is shame… I was ashamed of my friend who shared it on Facebook voicing her agreement (this is how I came across it to begin with, before it was ever picked up by the local media) … I was embarrassed to be living in Utah… where not only is this popular opinion but it was picked up by the media… Every fiber was annoyed… by the name of the blog… and every hateful word typed out… I am not going to counter her opinions… I just figured I would do a little review and opinionating of my own…. you know… from a well behaved person that has not lost her ever loving mind to hate and paranoia.

Frozen: Letting Go

Let me paraphrase… The movie opens with these two adorable sisters… laughing and playing in the snow and ice created by the eldest Elsa … Surely this is dark magic right? Sorcery? Witchcraft? don’t you worry… its a Disney Movie… and its JUST A STORY…  I saw it five times… Its full of dark magic and sorcery… and death… and treason… trolls who adopt the poor guy with apparently poor personal hygiene  being raised by a reindeer… but the poor guy with the Swedish accent it surely the problem… Oh that and the fact that the girl… who DOESN’T FEEL THE COLD takes of her repressive cape that she had to wear for a coronation is being considered to sex it up… hey hey… who am I to judge… I’m sure the people taking issue with this also wear these swim suits… and I’m cool with that…


My favorite part of the movie is the Let it Go sequence… as I am sure anyone with a 7 year old knows… it is catchy… and dramatic… and the graphics are beautiful… and everyone is covering it!! (See my Themesong Thursday Post)

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I’m the Queen.

Queen of isolation… I get that… Trapped by expectations

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried

Storm inside… raging emotions… Okay, I don’t have snow flakes sprinkling from my fingertips… but I am relating to this chic.

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know

Ahhh sweet sweet emancipation… from worrying about what others think of me… from judgement… and cruel words.

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door

I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway

It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all

It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free

Freedom from fear… self confidence… self discovery… Fantastic!

Let it go, let it go

Let go of the negative… hey smallest child… I hope you memorize each and every word of it!

I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry

Ha ha! okay okay… crying is okay… even if people see it… but not “You” not the people that I am letting go of… not the people that wanted me to be someone I am not

Sing sing sing… lots more words… storm rages on… etc

You get the idea… I take absolutely no offense to someone shedding what was forced upon them and coming to their own opinions, aspirations, dreams and I will cheer on my children whether it is at their graduation from college… or a pole dancing competition (please please let it not be pole dancing… so awkward)


and so… in conclusion… if you have to take some moral to what is really just an awesome story with fantastic music and stunning visuals… take this… Love is unconditional… Sisters before Misters…. also… reindeer raise gentlemen… Braids are sexy and trolls are love experts…. That is all

SO someone needs to explain to me how she gets from cryokinetic power to same-sex attraction?


OH! and someone better tell their kids… whether oaken likes men or not (which I don’t understand why that is relevant when he is just selling some damn carrots) that a Swedish accent isn’t required for someone to be gay… they can choose that for themselves… and they will be accepted and loved and keep their voice 🙂


These Boys…

I was fortunate enough to add my two grandsons to my Sunday with my kiddos… and well… I am speechless… perfect for Wordless Wednesday.




… Sweet Escape

mama katsWrite a blog post inspired by the word: Vacation

The snow is melting… patches of dirty… blackened snow still hides in the corners of the yard… but the muddy trampled looking grass is underneath… I am sure we will get layered again… but the majority of it is gone. The air is a little clearer… the sky a little bluer… the temperature a little warmer… we have been trapped inside… watching entirely too much TV… I start thinking about swimming pools… walks around the lake… and weekends at the big lake! These things are coming! I feel like everything gets a little lighter in my world.

But where I truly want to be is the Ocean… even more specific … Morro Bay… With the waves crashing against Morro rock… It is my favorite place in the entire world… and I have been to many corners of the world… Paris… Lisbon… Moscow… Maui…. all of these are not as appealing to me right this moment as a day in Morro Bay…

I would start the day with a latte from the small coffee/ice cream parlor on atascadero street… then park on the beach side of the rock… I would let the smalls run until they couldn’t run anymore… watching for Jelly fish that are sometimes spawning on the sand… searching out shells… and I would just sit… there at the curve created by the sandbar and the giant rock…. and watch the sun light the water that rolls lazily onto the sand… I would rent a kite from the kite shop directly across the street behind me… if the wind is strong… and fly that monstrous thing as high as it can go…. I would take the kids to see the junk house… the aquarium… Mr amazing and the smalls could play a game on the life-sized chess board… and we could stop at the shell shop… to buy little creatures made out of shells for our friends back home… I would visit my grandparents memorial… I miss them so much sometimes… everyday… My Grandfather would be so proud of Small Child and the man he is becoming… he would have adored Mr. Amazing…. My Grandmother would love smallest child… and all of her energy. We would walk through the Eucalyptus Trees… we would head to Los Osos for the most amazing clam chowder and walk the entire pier….

We would eat sauerkraut at Hauffbras… We would shop… in all those touristy t-shirt shops… and trinket shops… we would visit the sea lions… hundreds of them in a protected cove that can be seen from the highway above…. We would see Hearst castle up there on the hill… but skip the tour… because it is gaudy and boring.

We would end our day back on the beach… exhausted surely by this point… and dip our toes in the cold water… perhaps if we are lucky we would see the otters… they hold hands when they sleep so they don’t lose each other…. We should all hold hands more…

Imagine if we had a second day… We would head to San Luis Opisbo… and Moon Stone Beach…. with a third day… the vineyards and wines in Paso Robles… But those I will save for another blog…

One day… I will get there.






The Shell Shop, Morro Bay

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