Describe a time you made things…awkward.
There is SOOOOO much material to choose from!!! I decided to go to my very oldest Cohort… Mind you … we have been cohorting since we were 12… there is a history here (see how she got here nickname)… I dare you to ask your best friend! or child… or S/O… I hope you have as many good stories as I do. If you do it… share it… post the link in my comments!
Click the image to see the time she and I put on the Blogess’s Dress… I love this woman!
Me: Sooo I need an example of a time I made things awkward…
Cookie Wife:In a crowd or just a personal experience?
Me: I guess there is a large selection? either… for a blog post
Cookie Wife: The several years you hinted towards a threesome in mixed company;
Me: Rotflmao!!! Oh That… That is simply to get a reaction
Cookie Wife: ummmm.. setting me up with <Name removed for obvious reasons> (the other dates weren’t awkward, just disastrous, Or just good stories to tell later on!)
Me: Too Funny!!! like the time I was Drunk and trying out <Name removed for obvious reasons> waterbed with you guys… Yes… that is awkward <I feel it is important to notate I was divorced and ALL clothing was on and it was a giggle fest not some sex pot>
Cookie Wife: I’ve blocked that out. How about… Every party that your parents are there…That’s awkward.
Cookie Wife: Oh you know, we vent about our parents and the crap they do… then we have to smile and pretend we don’t know anything.
Cookie Wife: Ummm.. being in the room when you’re cheeky with Mr Amazing
Me: BAHAHAH! When am I cheeky?
Cookie Wife: ALL THE TIME!!
Me: Well… he is cute… I try to make out with him in public as often as possible
Cookie Wife: And I’m over here like: A guy smiled at me today.
Me: I smile at you everyday!
Cookie Wife: So the guy is really cute! And he didn’t have a ring! … incentive to get to the gym every morning!
Me: Want me to come make it awkward for you?
Cookie Wife: Noooooooooooooo!!!! That reminds me… Ice Skating!! That was awkward
Me: OMG! Seriously… I had a crush on that guy and I was married <insert note here about being married at 19 to someone no where near my age…> I needed you to take him off my hands… Its your JOB!
Cookie Wife: Typical you pawning them off on me…
Me: Ice Skating Guy was hot!
Cookie Wife: That one time you sent me a Jesus pic… that was awkward.
Me: That was AWESOME! Cause you always sent me coffee and wine pictures!
Cookie Wife : Because I can’t use them anymore! 🙁 <Insert note here about how I recently was SO supportive about her becoming all religious like>
Me: Well… I can’t use Jesus
I need a section on my blog titled “I Couldn’t Make This Shit Up”
They all came to the Lake!
The Light and Shade Challenge
An Epiphany has happened! I am about to tell you about it without the use of an adverb. Thanks to the Light & Shade Challenge! So if this is a hard read… Well… be grateful you did not have to write it.
As I spoke with Small Child last night (Small Child is a nick name, he turns 16 next month) he expressed his dislike of my Nicotine addiction. No, No, I am not a smoker… I used to be… I also used to carry 100 pounds more body fat than I do now… I used to smoke a pack a day…
I need to lose another 100 pounds (I say that with such a casual tone) I need to get off the Nicotine Gum.
Yes… the gum… I have chewed it for years… I feel a little embarrassed by it.
I am half way there. I have done half of what needs to be done.
We set a date… August 10th… to be weened off the stuff…
I hate that anything has a hold on me… I hate being dependent on anything… and as Small Child put it… What if…
What if the Zombie Apocalypse came… He said he would use me as a Nicotine withdrawn weapon… as it would not be available to me.
But I think at this moment, I could face any challenge ahead… Other than writing one more horribly boring … incredibly un-descriptive line of dribble about my mundane physical addictions… I would gladly write a million things other than that… but I needed to get it put in writing… and what better way to do it and aggressively make the point!
Small Child and I!
I thought I was a courageous out spoken confident person…
I was wrong… The truth is… I have been placated… pacified… terrified… trapped… and I have not been true to my self… and I have chickened out more times than I am comfortable admitting.
I have been toying with an idea for about 5 years now… Career wise… and just as I was about to take some risk and turn my idea into a reality… Something would happen
A kid got sick
Someone passed away
The dog had a lump
I got sick
I want a new couch
you name it… I did it… all of it… rather than be real…
All the signs are pointing for me to move in this direction… Better things are in store for me… I know this… and I am still scared… Scared of “What If” and if I am honest with myself, not moving in that direction has just as many scary “What ifs”…
So I have made a plan… one that is well thought out… and well planned… and I am moving in that direction.
I have some back up plans for some of those “What Ifs” and if all of the “What Ifs” happen? well you will see me flying by the seat of my pants through life taking one If at a time…