Articles By Kerry

I am still here… just not right here.

Ive been all over actually… I posted that I was sick as an explanation for my lack of posts… and I packed up all my prescriptions like a dying person and flew to the bay…. It was awesome… I would site see in the mornings… sleep and be ill in the afternoons…. and be rested up again to go out to dinner with Mr. Amazing as he finished his day at the conference he was attending…. It was my first trip away from the smalls… that was not a working trip myself… and even though I was sick… I didn’t stay put… I drove through tunnels and over bridges and had a fantastic time…

Bridge Trolley Tea

Upon returning home I decided… impromptu…  to do some family photos! Here is my favorite…. Tall Child… Small Child… Smallest Child… Tiny Children 1 2 and 3

AllTheKiddos I am pretty sure they could not be any cuter.

And I finished my Christmas Painting Project!

I wanted to replace all the artwork in my living room with Christmas Artwork… I couldn’t afford to go out purchasing new artwork… So I PAINTED THEM!

Cause… well… I fucking rock


And that my friends… is why I am not blogging…. But I did get the text from Mr.Amazing that he once again renewed my beautiful domain this last week… and well… seeing as how I lived through the round of antibiotics… I suppose I will need to come up with something to write about again.



I’m just gonna leave this right here… okay now… bubye.

Write about a time you thought there was a ghost.

Write about a time you thought there was a ghost.

I am not going to start a debate on whether or not ghosts are real… or the supernatural… or anything of the sort…because honestly I just don’t care…  I am just going to state one fact… you cannot live with me for long and deny that there is something besides us here… call that something what you will… but you can’t deny its existence…

This fact was challenged upon entering my marriage for Mr. Amazing… I think he thought it was cute that I was so eccentric…. But much like with everyone else… It just was not worth the discussion… because a ghost doesn’t pay the bills… or do the laundry… cook dinner… bring about world peace…so really… what good is it.

This is one story of many… but it is my favorite because it scared the Bejeezus out of my Sexy Husband… Here is what happened:

Its been about 2 years now… It started slow… Doors opening and closing… Wiring seeming to be going out as lights flickered in the hall and bathroom… Harmless things… super easy to explain away…. So what are two grown adults going to do? Try to explain it away… HA!


This is the light that would randomly turn off when someone was in there… it had to be wiring because it isnt like the light switch moved… the light just quit working…. but the wiring magically got fixed all by itself now.

We adjusted the thermostat… we ran a hot shower trying to make the door swell… we tried numerous things to try and recreate what was happening… because I am supportive of my cute husband and his insistence science can explain it.  I like science! But our attempts were in vain… and the door opening and closing continued…

I think my favorite night was when we were in bed… our door flew open… we blamed it on the wind… and closed it again… only to have it open again once we were back under the covers.

This carried on for several weeks… it was a symphony of doors… down this hallway


Our bedroom is at the end of the hall… The first door on your right is Little Miss Smalls door…it was the most active participant. But  only when she was not home.

Now cue the baby crying… WHAT? We don’t have a baby! … Thats right folks… in the middle of the night we would hear a baby crying… we would hear it in different places… For Example.. we would both be in bed… we would both hear the crying… but I would swear it was outside the window.. he would swear it was on the other end of the house…. and WOOSH! the door (that was already closed) would slam.

Then the footsteps started… and that was the end of it for Mr. Amazing… We had been living this way for about 5 months at this point… He could not deny it any longer… and he wanted it gone!

Which was sad kind of… because it really was such a sweet little thing…

“Don’t you know other weirdos that can do something about this??” he asked in desperation (Door Slam at 2 am WHAM!)

“Ironically… I do”

and I did… and I did what my dear friend suggested… with a little help from my not so small… and other than a peek a boo once and again from our invisible friend… things have been quiet.

“Let’s never speak of this again” – Mr Amazing

Well… it just made the blog!



I have a message for you..

Courtesy of WikiCommons

Courtesy of WikiCommons

Life is a little like a message in a bottle, to be carried by the winds and the tides.
– Gene Tierney

There’s something undeniably romantic about tossing a message into the ocean and seeing to whom fate… helped by the currents and wind…might deliver to someone in some unknown place at some unknown time (The oldest message in a bottle was recently found in 2012 … it was 98 years old (Wiki It People))

I’m sitting here with my coffee pondering what I could possibly say that would be important enough to put it in a bottle and throw it into the sea… Something I wanted to pass on… I would want them to know me… know why… and the message… I would think it would go something like this.

I am often torn by anxiety in all my waking hours. Always searching outside of me to make the inside of me measure up to some ridiculous expectation in my own head. Through years of self torture, and loneliness I have found these truths to fill the void my soul feels…. I share them with you in hope that you can avoid the same battle:

Music is what feelings sound like. Play it often. Bread and Pasta will make you fat. Happy and Fat are a way better alternative to Thin and Jaded. Art  is everywhere. Look at it every chance you get. Create it as often as you look at it. Do not tell yourself you are not an artist. Talent is not where the magic is, Creation is where the magic happens. Magic is not a term I use lightly. It exists. Miracles as well. See them.There is a higher power. Every act of kindness is a ritual unto the a power greater than yourself. Do them daily… Kindness… Sprinkle that shit everywhere. Get over how fragile you are… you will break and rebuild many times before you find your true form. Avoiding what breaks you will be what breaks you the most. Be courageous. It is none of your business what other people think about you. Stand in your truth.


What would your message be? I’m fascinated by people’s “truths”… comment below instead of putting bottles in the sea however… Green Peace and All.

Shout out to my favorite writing prompt creators ever! It is always thought provoking and real!

The Light and Shade Challenge

The Light and Shade Challenge

Furiously Happy… Ridiculously Revealing

October is National Book Month, tell us about the best book you’ve read so far this year.

I ordered it months ago… I had almost forgot it was coming… I quit watching the hilarity ensue about it online… I was not in the mood…

I did attend the online book release however.

I did attend the online book release however.

And then I read it… and I read it as what appeared to be the last sliver of my ovary that I have left seem to be making a last ditch effort to relive my rebellious teenage years… and it hated everyone…myself included.

and amid all the hate I loved the book… I loved everything about it.. and I read it when it was a very hard time for me to read it… and I read it because it was a very hard time for me.

If you live under a rock… and have never heard of the Bloggess… I am happy and sad for you

Sad because… my god that woman is funny… and says things that I didn’t know how to say… literally gave me words to speak.

Happy because… I like to think of myself as special and unique and not just a rabid fan.

so read the book… you will be better for it… or don’t read it… so I can think I am better than you (Not really people… read the book)

If you do not relate to it… Keep the words close to you… there will come a time that you are left speechless… and the words will be right there.

Furiously Happy – By Jenny Lawson – The best book I have read so far this year!

PicMonkey Collage

Words do not have to mean what you think they mean…

The Light and Shade Challenge


Pride, envy, avarice – these are the sparks have set on fire the hearts of all men.

– Dante Aligheri
.Imagine if you will…
A world where there were no “deadly sins” … Where there were no heaven to worry about exalting to… no judgement day or raining fiery hellish end of this earth…
Where a word like Pride is a positive thing… Something you took in your work… and in the effort of studies and understanding… Take pride in the fact that Information is a better educator than fear in your life.
And Envy … rather than wallowing in it…it becomes your measure for goal making… and that you truly believed that if you wanted something bad enough… you could work for it… and when you attained said goal… it did not tarnish anyone else’s… Make your goal to be a person that touches so many people with Kindness that you spark that same envy in others!
That your Avarice was only referred to in terms of friends, family, loved ones and adventures…. for when speaking of those things… and the wanting them in your life… the ultimate greed would be to be surrounded by those who matter to you most… adventuring across this vast planet… and if your avarice was great… and good… it would allow for all walks of life… all ways of thinking.. all forms of worship… because the more people on your adventure with you the better…. Be Greedy with your hopes and dreams!
I could continue… The case could be made for the word stubborn… Be too stubborn to give up… too stubborn to let go of your ambitions.
Insecurity kills all that is beautiful… Hate kills hope.
When you think of setting on fire one’s heart… realize that it is passion… passion is where everything begins.

Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice…

Coffee Talk! Share your first pumpkin spice latte of the season with us.

Coffee Talk! Share your first pumpkin spice latte of the season with us.

Sound Track for this post… as they sometimes have… just go ahead and click play and keep reading…

Sunday afternoon… No Smalls!

Just Mr Amazing and I driving up the winding canyon road… talking about everything that is important in our lives right now… about getting older… and how priorities change… and perspective… He is turning 40 in just a few days… it is very daunting to him… I cannot help but laugh because I remember just two years ago being in the same spot… I remember being so afraid of it…but it came anyways… and something magical happened… I changed… much like the seasons… much the like the colors starting to touch these leaves we were making the journey to see their change…. their change is beautiful

Alpine Mountains

Alpine Mountains

And so are the changes we go through in life… I remember thinking how it was a measure of who I was… what I had accomplished at 40… which was not what I had wanted… not what I had imagined… and not nearly good enough.

But then the day after 40 came… and then another… and then another… and it didnt matter anymore… infact… most of my preconceived notions about life… who I was and how it should be did not matter any more… Some kind of dark magic happened. I quit worrying about it.

Alpine Mountains

Alpine Mountains

And I listened to him worry that he had not done enough… and he didnt know what he was going to do… and I smiled at him… fondly… because I am so full of the fondness for this man… and I told him to just wait…

We are not what we do… we are not where we have been… where we are going… what we have accomplished… None of those things are who we really are … We are what is inside of us… and something about 40 makes what is inside of us scream to be heard finally… to be paid attention too… to be expressed!

He shook his head and laughed his “if you say so” laugh… and I told him how sexy he is… as we do.

We stopped at some dirty gas station for cokes… when I spotted it… that old school… probably full of bacteria… one button wonder…. Pumpkin Spice Machine… and I drank that shit.

Because Life is not as short as we think it is… and fall brings out the best in all of us.

Happy Birthday Tall Child

When I was younger… a sophomore in highschool…
on the 30th of September…my first niece was born.

Write something that begins and ends with the words “When I was younger.”

Write something that begins and ends with the words “When I was younger.”

Today I call her daughter.

I dont have the patience to look through the history of my own blog and see if I have told her amazing story before… and that is okay… because even if I had told it… it would be different today… because we are different today… we are fucking old.

You came to be my daughter through unconventional methods… as all good daughters do.
You were 12 going on 13 and you will never forget the weekend you came to live with me… because it marked the date of your journey into womanhood… your first period! I am sure there could be a million other milestones that mark it… but Im going with this one… because… Ha!

It was only going to be a temporary stay… just someone to watch over her for a little bit… I remember clearly the day I knew it was going to be a permanent situation… and the brave call with the detective… and the search warrant issued on your previous residence…sure… there were court rooms… the therapy sessions… the tears…the sleeping on the foot of my bed.

but there was also birthday parties… all night talks…the lama festival… “cute toes” at the fair…The hamster escapes… the calling the drama teacher an asshole in front of the entire class!

Highschool was amazing… to look back on… not at the time… The Leprechaun, The Drag Queen, The making out in the hall way with the foreign exchange student…

I remember telling you how special you are… how much light you had inside of you… I see it still.

She has grown into the most stunning of peoples. (Plural… because the grandsons are literally falling out of her… her words not mine!)

You who I thought I was saving… saved me

She became the greatest influence on small childs life… She was his hero… his best friend…

She taught me to be brave… and honest… She embodies the very definition of hard work and determination.

Through everything life has tossed at us… we figured it out together… The gratitude I feel for having her enter my home is overwhelming sometimes… I truly cannot imagine my life without her.

It has not been easy… and I have not always been proud of how I have handled things… but there is not a single day when I am not proud to be mom…

Happy Happy Birthday Tall Child!!

The Fairest of them all...

The Fairest of them all…

I never ever looked this beautiful btw… even when I was Younger.

All my life…

Something you wanted to be when you grew up.

Something you wanted to be when you grew up.

<settles in with popcorn, a drink, grey sweatpants, messybun, dog on my feet, TV on in the background>

My Entire life… for as long as I can remember … I have wanted to do one thing….. Write.

Sure I took classes for writing… along with child development… business development… then I went and worked a Marketing career for most of my adult life.

My dreams of being a writer were prior to blogging days… prior to internet days… yes… I am that old

My first memories of wanting to write come in Elementary school… where i remember being so moved by a book that I described it so emotionally in the book report that a teacher mentioned my flair for drama might make me a writer.

Through Junior Highschool I switched to the gothic poetry writing… life is bleak… wear all black… stick it to the man. stuff.

Highschool brought more poems… and cutting… and then I began trudging the road to a happy destiny… that included the stopping of wallowing in the wrongs of the world… and the impending demise of it… and onto looking at the brighter side of things…. and the writing stopped for a time….

Once I wrote a story… about 500 pages worth of it… it was a mixture of real and fabrication to make it sound better… and then I put it in a garbage can and set it on fire.

The internet happened… which was quickly followed with message boards and forums… I wrote like a mad woman… really… I was mad about so many social issues.

Then blogs… Ive had several.. finally landing here years ago and settling in nicely … see? notice the popcorn and pajamas?

I joined some writing groups… not much unlike this favorite workshop of mine (Kats)

and a story started… a fictional one… and it is beautiful.

and I write.

I have always been a writer… from even before I knew I wanted to be one…

It kind of reminds me of this… I am just gonna leave this right here… I’m done… the popcorns gone.


Filtering the world.

The Light and Shade Challenge

The Light and Shade Challenge

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. 
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

– Oscar Wilde

How many masks do you have to put on each day…

mom… evil stepmother… wife…  friend… tortured soul of a writer.

there are variations of these… to protect us in social circles… good girl… bad girl…. tough girl…  caring girl.

The poem, written by Charles C. Finn was titled Please Hear What I am Not Saying.

The opening lines read, “Don’t be fooled by me. Don’t be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that I am afraid to take off and none of them is me.”

Personally I think we hide ourselves because we’re afraid that the truth of who we are will not be acceptable… That if others…  even those who we trust with our love… were to see who we really are they would turn from us… that we will be seen not as angels but as monsters.
But we can’t all be monsters…
Feelings are not right or wrong… they just are.. and it is what we do with them that determines our worth.

 as a child… I was wearing a very self destructive mask through those years… one that almost fuzed itself permanently to my skin… in the process of taking it off I found…

a journey of self discovery is as simple as deciding which masks are the faces you want to show the world… they are not someone else’s masks…and if they resemble others… it is simply because you took part of what they offered up to the world… they are not foreign objects … the are slivers of personality… leaks of truth… partial revelations…

all of our heroes wear masks.

I cannot find the source to attribute this photo to... sorry.

If you truly want to know yourself… or another…. it is not about removing the masks… but seeing them all at once… forest for the trees and what not.