I think the only people who know how to leave comments are SERIOUS about me needing to source some shit from China!

Bahahahaha! I got through the last two weeks of school… a trip to the lake… finally have a moment to breathe and log in to do some serious blogging… I mean this is prime shit right here… and I find 700 spam comments from people advertising sources in china… so there you go…. I dedicate this to them…. because they obviously really know me…..

Whew! I am not really sure where to start…. I think I have finished with my fairy doors…. I say I think because even though I am 100% positive at this moment…. things change with the direction of the wind … emotionally… mentally… spiritually… and even physically….. I will however leave the door open (ha! see what I did there) by saying… I am now a fan of street art magic like that… and am sure there are a million and one more shenanigans inside of me…

Highlights of the project:

I moved more… a lot actually… which is sad that my physical exercise was getting in and out of my car 20 times a day and stooping down to fix doors or place doors… some of them required a bit of walking…. so there is that.

I got some of the coolest responses from everyone… and the kids fairy offerings were my favorite

I painted… so much!

I improved someones quality of life besides my own – Now that is a bold statement… thinking fairy doors could improve someones quality of life… I think it is indisputable however that the children finding them had an improved outlook on life… but there was someone else watching me the entire time that I was unaware of until the day I went and gathered the doors for the summer…. Infact… I think she might have been the reason I woke up that day and decided to start this crazy project… I just didnt know it yet… This is the story of her… and at some other point I will tell you my other stories… because so much is happening…and I dont mean fairy doors LOL… I digress…. Her story:

I believe I have mentioned that the first time I went to check on the very first fairy doors I put out that I saw this woman behind the public library… I had a feeling she was living there… but there was no proof of that… she was clean… kind… and quietly reading a book… as someone who had spent sometime living on the streets though… I knew the value of finding a place like that… where you could really sleep and not worry too much about others… and I wondered then why I had never thought to sleep there in my youth… I told my son about her… asked him as we left the restaurant across the street with leftovers if we should go over and see if she was hungry… but he convinced me upon seeing her that there was no way she was homeless… that she was just relaxing there… and that we would be insulting her to offer her our leftovers…. so we didnt….. over the two months that I played fairies… I saw her at least 85% of the time I was on that path… and many times we exchanged pleasantries as I worked up to an entire fairy realm behind the library… I was finding stacks of leaves in front of the doors… and hearts made out of rocks in front of them… and I loved the location… (See Previous Posts for examples of some of the fun book quotes I was using there) … But as I decided to take the summer off of fairying… I realized I needed to clean them up… so they didnt lose their magic… and Mr. Amazing and I went down the path on Memorial Day…. By this time I knew my original instinct about this pretty lady had been right… and on this warm evening… she was there again… tucked back in a corner… I greeted her again… and told her what I was doing…. She shocked me by looking quite broken hearted … telling me how much she had been enjoying them… I told her how fun they had been and why I was doing them… and that I would be back in the fall with something magical again… She looked downright sheepish when I told her about the hearts made from rocks… and I realized right then and there that I had set out to bring magic back… and I was meeting my fairy offering giver… not a child at all…. So I sat down next to her… which scared her honestly… and told her that I wished I had thought of staying back here when I was living on the streets…. and I told her that I didnt have much… but that I would like to help her some how… and gave her a few options… I had a budget I could live with… It would cover either one night in a hotel… so that she could shower and sleep soundly… or a very nice hot meal and a gift card…. or I could take that same amount and go get her some things that would last a little longer…. She was very spooked and very embarrassed… but admitted that as nice as the first two offers sounded she really could use some supplies… So I explained to her that I had a few more things to take care of… but not to leave… and not to worry… that we would be back with something that would help…. So we went to the local rite aid… and we got some socks… and a small first aid kit… some foot cream… some wisps for her perfectly straight (and recently cleaned) teeth… that I cannot get out of my mind… she had not been out long… and she had come from somewhere that she had access too great dental care and health care …. We got some very sensible protein… beef jerky… almonds… tuna pouches…. and we got some candy items… chocolate and gummy butterflies… we got as much as we thought she would be able to put in her backpack… and then we bought a trac fone…. with a card with some minutes… and we took our haul back over to her… we sat on the stairs with her and made sure the trac fone got activated and worked (we looked like complete idiots trying to figure that thing out) they come with a full charge so she would have it through the night and I knew she could go in the library during the day and charge it… I asked her if there was anyone I could call for her… she shook her head… I tried asking a few more things… but she was very tightlipped…. and I told her it was okay… she didnt need to talk to me… but if she ever wanted too…. I would answer… I took one of my doors and I wrote my name and phone number on the back of it… as well as the YWCAs phone number… and gave it to her… she whispered that it was her favorite door as I did… I had selected that one… suspecting it was what she needed to hear the most… and hugged her and left…. I have had to resist going back… I just wanted to take her home with me… I searched the missing persons database… I just know she is someones loved one… I dont know what she is running from… if she is afraid of being hurt… I just know that I do not believe in coincidences… and that my fairy doors were in the right place at the right time…. for both of us.

I have so much more to say… and so much more art to show… but I am just going to leave this here… for now… and remind myself in years to come that this story happened in the middle of my avoiding finishing my book… which is about a homeless girl…. thats all

OH! … Here is the door I left her… excuse me while I go clean up my mascara from blubbering like an idiot through this.

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Feel free to comment… unless you want to tell me about this great source in China you have… then fuck off.

Maybe… This is how its supposed to be…

Its been AGES since Ive done a theme song Thursday…. but this song reminds me of my life right now… so this lil post would be best enjoyed by hitting play on this song before moving on…

I decided I was not done adventuring in my life and it was time to renew my passport…. this is my message to the universe… that I will find a good way to need it…. preferably Italy.

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The end of the school year has been the normal Hell… I think they do this so you are just so grateful that its over that you dont mind if your kids eat cereal for lunch and watch TV all day… (Seriously) … 4th grade Pageants … and Final Symphony Orchestra performances … I couldnt be prouder of either of them….

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These two Monkeys (really there are 3 monkeys… but the 3rd one cant walk yet) are my Sunday morning dates… The taller one there … gave me a firm talking too about six months ago… about how he needed me more… about how we needed to go on adventures… (His exact words for adventure were “Go fun places, and Jump alot” LOL) and he was right… things have been a little strained between tallest child and I (she is now about to birth her fourth child in four years) and it was stupid… We now having a standing date each week… where we adventure (the latest being the pool … which they loved)…. He said to me on his way home this week “Sunday is my favorite day…. because that is when I get you) and we count another 7 days until we get to adventure again! I love them so much…

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Something else Magical is happening on our Sunday Mornings Adventures… For as bright and well spoken that tall one is… the shorter one is loving and sensitive…. He and Small child have a bit of a special routine at the end of our adventures… I could not be anymore surprised by their tenderness… or moved by it.

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Obviously by the lack of posts you can assume I am still painting… because I am… still fairying…

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We found this old tree stump along a busy road… It is by a Nursing home path… as well as a bus stop…

We call it fairy city πŸ™‚

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and last but not least… a commissioned piece that is a bit more dark… bahahahaha! Someones Boyfriends Brother is a fanatic apparently.

This is the progress I have made on the set… it is definitely a work in progress… lots of shading still to do… but so much fun to paint.

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Oh… and I work as well (not a lot though) but that is going swimmingly… and I am somewhat keeping my household running smoothly… I am looking forward to things slowing down a bit more… I have now lost a little over 50 lbs… and I have been doing this small (I MEAN SMALL) fitness challenge everyday… baby steps people… I am taking them

Through this little door….

Once in a while… right in the middle of an ordinary life…. life gives us a fairy tale….

I am not even really sure how this happened… I posted about these little fairy doors a couple of weeks ago… about how I just wanted t make a few peoples days a little brighter…. well… things have certainly gotten brighter…. Lets start with some pictures and then I will tell you more about it…. These are out and about all over Bountiful Utah… and its is funny… because I really thought people would not see them… or ruin them…

Bees Buddha Courage Monkeys outandabout outandabout2 Rains Sparkle

as you can see from the images…. not only did people not take them… I felt this weird obligation once I realized people were looking at them… being careful with them… drawing hearts with rocks in front of them… stacking leaves in front of them (I am assuming these are little girls doing this) to well…. keep up the locations… we have had some insane weather around here lately… rain and wind… but my little doors just keep staying… I have had evidence (Such as chewed gum used as adhesive) that I am getting help with the upkeep of these…. Sooooooo I had some little stuff around my house… from other projects… and I began making additions…. LOL I have painted 26 doors now… I still have 20 of them out there… some have gotten taken… which was the original assumption… so I am not upset about that… but the ones that stay are the ones that make me laugh… I wonder what people think…. there is a sweet little path behind our local library (the bountiful library) that has several…. I think that at this point that is where I am going to have to focus most of my attention… I wonder if at some point the city will complain about these little fairies being about…. but so far they havent… and I suppose at this point also I am probably going to be a little sad when some kid, teen, or adult comes through and finally does break them… or throw them away…. or whatever…. but for now… I am going to continue my little game… I have no idea who is seeing them… if they like them? or what is going on… but about every 72 hours or so… I go a make a round to them all… and make sure I am not littering… that they are in good condition… and I usually add something to the site… Its small… I know… but I do feel like something is happening… even if it is to me.

Bringing Magic Back

In the quest to figure out what I am doing with my life… for my life… why my life… I have been just floating in the wind of change… letting the changes happen… Im at a really rough time of year for me (anniversary of Something Lost) and I find my emotions and moods and temperament as crazy as the weather… and I am going through some bizarre midlife crisis… and anxiety in our house is smothering at this point with all of the recent changes my little squad has gone through… the population of this country is so negative with the elections that even my 9 year old is spouting off serious hate for Donald Trump because it is the cool thing to do at school? (who can blame her or all of them really) and sometimes we in this house feel the bern… and sometimes we just cross our fingers and hope Cruz gets beat… by anyone… (I am totally thrilled with Bernie or Hillary as an option for that) but the discussion amongst the smalls amazes me… everyone hates someone… and everyone is so angry…

I woke up Tuesday morning assuming I would continue down the path of painting my life away… my latest obsession has been quotes on canvas… word arty type shit… when I realized I had two birthday presents to buy… and out of no where I decided I was going to the local garden store, which I can count on one hand how many times ive been there… and my ability to kill every living plant is another topic for a blog all together… but I went anyways…

Once there I found myself in the fairy garden section… Pause here for a little explanation… I dont blog about it… (at least I dont remember blogging about it) but I am HUGE believer in paying it forward as often as I can… I buy meals and coffees for people behind me in drive thrus… I buy random outfits and rent tuxs for my favorite family around the corner (My cookie wifes crew) … I buy sandwiches for the homeless… I buy dogfood for the dogs of the homeless… I always seem to be in a place at a time… and it just happens…. This particular morning in question… I believe it all came about the way it did because I was supposed to do this random act of kindness… because I had never even thought about a fairy garden before …. and I didnt even know if the 2 people who I needed birthday gifts for gave a shit about fairy gardens… Unpause…. I am browsing the darling section at the garden store… and I hear the employees asking if they all had gotten a text… about someone who was VERY ill and they were drilling into her bones to get something out? some infection? and it was all so awful sounding and they were all planning on going in on gift…. and lo and behold… what they wanted to go in on was an indoor fairy garden… but the pot to start it was 50$… so they needed cash from everyone… then they would get a few small things to put in it…. So I grabbed the stuff for my projects that I wanted… and went to the cash register feeling rather strange… realizing that these ladies made way less than I do… and 50$ to them meant a whole lot more than it did to me… and I quietly asked the cashier if I could buy the pot for the girls in the back fairy garden… the cashier was the daughter in law of the sick person… and she was the sweetest thing on the planet that morning for me… I really needed the hug she came around the counter to give me… and I asked her not to tell anyone and I took my purchases and headed to the craft store next…. the craft store… it’s dangerous as hell for me…

Here is how my two gifts ended up (They were fucking awesome and the people who got them LOVED them) it couldn’t have gone better.

This one was for my Ride Or Die Chick :)

This one was for my Ride Or Die Chick πŸ™‚ Its amazing and I wired it with purple lights that light up! and those lil fairies are obviously drinking the wine….

and something a little tamer for Mr. Amazings little sister

and something a little tamer for Mr. Amazings little sister

 

Then when at the craft store getting a few more little things… something else happened… I was falling in love with all the miniature stuff… its so cute… and I had been wondering how I could brighten the mood in our little town… and I had been finding all these amazing quotes to paint and practicing my lettering… and well…. I am now full swing into this little project.

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I was working on this one last night... with 2 glasses of wine (which only happens like once every couple of months so I was SUPER not painting straight) Soooo I will be fixing this one up a bit

I was working on this one last night… with 2 glasses of wine (which only happens like once every couple of months so I was SUPER not painting straight) Soooo I will be fixing this one up a bit

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And then… After glazing them… and using an adhesive on the back… I placed the first six in various spots around town… I told my smalls when I placed them that I knew they would be taken… destroyed… kicked… whatever… that I didnt care… That if I made even one person smile for each door I was going to keep doing it… I put them in places that they wouldnt hurt anything… Not destroy any property… and then I watched… The one on the tree was at a park… I drove by three times that day to tons of kids staring at it in happy fascination … it was gone by the end of the day… I can only hope some little girl took it and put it in her room πŸ™‚

The black one I put outside an old book store that sells and buys used books…. The purple one with the Buddha quote I placed on a boarded up window of an abandoned building on main street…. The double doors ended up on the walking trail behind the library… one on a low income over crowded child care facility mail box (I figure some kids need some magic more than others) one in a visitor parking lot shared by an old folks home and the hospital… and that was it… Ive checked on them a few times… The others are all still where I placed them… and I cant help but wonder if people are seeing them… smiling… finding hope…

There is a big rainstorm slated for today… I will go again and check them afterwards… to see if they are ruined and need to be thrown away (I mean, Its art im not littering right? but I wont leave trash out there) and I started on my next set of them … as you can see above… I also painted a shit ton (that is a unit of measure) of tiny mushrooms (out of dowels) … I figure if the ones out there stand up to the storm… I will add mushrooms to the area… to keep them from becoming something people just pass everyday and dont notice the small miracles life offers.

Tiny lil mushrooms

Tiny lil mushrooms

Last but not least… I have been on a clothing kick lately… and I have been wearing the most awesome stuff… Here was my fairy door attire…. Notice the shoes… thats all… Spread Kindness Like Confetti PEOPLE! I LOVE YOU ALL!

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OMG… Like I wrote a real blog… maybe thats what this whole journey is about… getting back to writing finally…. whatever… I have a TON of doors to get painting

Its been two weeks…

Here is everything I should be writing about….

St Patricks Day

Easter

How my new job is amazing

How the spiritual meditation circle is magical and wonderful

The failure of our school system on sex ed… and how I got to have some awesome discussions with a very confused and frustrated 16 years old son… who lost his father… and I didnt understand he didnt even know what a circumcision was… or foreskin…. 3 years ago this month he lost his dad.

How I miss my friends…

How much I love and adore my small and tinies and the adventures weve been on

How much a love Mr. Amazing and wanna climb his tree constantly.

But…. all I am doing is painting still….

Here are my latests… LOL

Totoro SeriesHeroes WIP

Lost in space?

Okay I am not really lost in space…. I am still just trying to balance painting with the rest of my life…. and it is a bit tricky…. especially because I have started a new set… and gotten about 20 new canvas’s… LOL On the list of things to do today before I am allowed to escape to my paint room?

Shower – Check!

Pay Bills – Check! (Well mostly… Ive got to go pay one in person at 9)

Write – Obviously in process

Housework and Laundry – I am blogging to avoid that.

and last but not least … I am going to Caucus today… its our day in my stupid yet beautiful lil red state… and even though it is not until this evening I have set the goal to not miss it because I am painting… .So there you go…. My little blue voting butt is gonna go at least do what I can.

Here’s what Ive done since I last checked in πŸ™‚

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This last one is a Work in Progress still… Ive got to finish it… but I already have plans for Kiki and Spirited Away…. oh! and Nausica!

Sooooo There is that…. Im going to go get some house work done so that I can check that off the list before I pay that last bill and escape to the paintroom!

TTFN!

Down the Rabbit Hole….

So… as previously mentioned in multiple posts… I set off on the first of August on a new adventure… I quit my 15 year career… I since then have contracted and then was added to the payroll at another company… that pays me enough to stay comfortable… and I work only part time hours… I discussed at great length how this was going to free me up to follow all kinds of dreams and ambitions…. at the top of that list was writing… which I did quite a bit of in the beginning…. but seriously… as of late I have simply disappeared… I have done this time to time over the years of blogging… but never when I have had so much free time… I haven’t been writing at all recently… not on my blog… not on my other projects… and well… even though I don’t write for anyone other than myself… I feel like I am doing things wrong if I am not writing…. so let me write about what I have been doing instead…

Ive been cooking…. shut the fuck up… me cooking! Lots actually!

I have given up coffee (for the most part)… which is really one of the most defining characteristics of my personality… my love of coffee

I have gotten closer to my smalls… my tinys … and even Mr. Amazing.

I have done quite a bit of housework… but not as much as I should (seriously… not enough LOL)

I have lost 30 pounds… at least… I actually am going to weigh myself again today at the doctors… Its probably closer to 40 but I dont keep a scale here…

Just from not emotional binge eating…. cause I sure as shit haven’t been exercising… maybe that will come next…

I’ve joined a Meditation Circle/Book Club for spirituality. (Highly Recommend – Spiritual Growth – Being your higher self – By Sanaya Roman)

I’ve painted… my god… have I painted… infact its really the only reason I am blogging today… because I set some goals for my self to be able to escape into my paint room for the day… and that was to shower… clean up… pluck that overgrown chin hair… and write before I let myself go in there… So it is 7:45 am and here I am crossing that off my list… ha!

Let me show you some of what i’ve been working on…

I did this one for my small (now 16 year old) child - these are 4 by 4 block canvas and they were a lot of fun

I did this one for my small (now 16 year old) child – these are 4 by 4 block canvas and they were a lot of fun

This was my practice run for print transfer... I did it for my favorite red head on the planet

This was my practice run for print transfer… I did it for my favorite red head on the planet

This one was for smallest child... I told her I would add to it as she read more of the series

This one was for smallest child… I told her I would add to it as she read more of the series

Dis one was for my best friend... cause you know... we are mad LMAO

Dis one was for one of my closest friends… cause you know… we are mad LMAO

This is my Alice Set... I did this one for myself... these are 6 x 6 block canvas

This is my Alice Set… I did this one for myself… these are 6 x 6 block canvas

These were for my cute tinys

These were for my cute tinys

and last but not least…. the other day Small child was looking at pictures hung in the the hallway … and said “You’ve changed so much Kerry! Your hair used to be black and short and curly… now its lighter and all kinds of colors and soooo long and straight… and your face… its smaller too!”

So here is my smaller face in bed as I type this… ha! because seriously… like im gonna get dressed before I paint!

(Im putting it down here because no one ever really reads to the end…. right?)

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I am still here… just not right here.

Ive been all over actually… I posted that I was sick as an explanation for my lack of posts… and I packed up all my prescriptions like a dying person and flew to the bay…. It was awesome… I would site see in the mornings… sleep and be ill in the afternoons…. and be rested up again to go out to dinner with Mr. Amazing as he finished his day at the conference he was attending…. It was my first trip away from the smalls… that was not a working trip myself… and even though I was sick… I didn’t stay put… I drove through tunnels and over bridges and had a fantastic time…

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Upon returning home I decided… impromptu… Β to do some family photos! Here is my favorite…. Tall Child… Small Child… Smallest Child… Tiny Children 1 2 and 3

AllTheKiddosΒ I am pretty sure they could not be any cuter.

And I finished my Christmas Painting Project!

I wanted to replace all the artwork in my living room with Christmas Artwork… I couldn’t afford to go out purchasing new artwork… So I PAINTED THEM!

Cause… well… I fucking rock

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And that my friends… is why I am not blogging…. But I did get the text from Mr.Amazing that he once again renewed my beautiful domain this last week… and well… seeing as how I lived through the round of antibiotics… I suppose I will need to come up with something to write about again.