Angel Fall… and now I can’t sleep.


Soooo let me just insert an excerpt of what I tried to fall asleep too last night….

The streets have turned desolate and empty of people. We are out of the aerie district and in the demolished zone. Miles of burnt-out car husks and wrecked buildings flow by. The wind whips my hair around my face as we drive through the charred and broken skeleton of our world.

That was the happy ending I stayed up late to try to get too…. anything to erase the fear building up inside of me during the climax of the story…

But I am getting too far ahead of myself…. Let’s go back…

I am ALWAYS on the look out for my next book… I’ve read everything… every genre… (Other than that 50 shades stuff… don’t get me started on that again… but you can always read my thoughts on it here.)

But lately… much like the rest of the world … the world according to Amazon Kindle anyways… I have been reading a lot of pre & post  Apocalyptic crap lately… This of course was started by the Hunger Games series that rocked all of our socks….

I’ve read all the vampire series… even really horrible ones…. supernatural this and that… crossed… matched… reached…. the uglies… the pretties…  all of the Giver books… the list is endless… I of course take some breaks in this to keep my mind from melting into a pile of goo and read something with more… oomph? such as 12 years a slave… the invention of wings… brain on fire was a super intense read…. okay… I digress… regardless of how it came about I purchased and began to read Angel Fall by Susan Ee… Sunday morning before the Super Bowl… I finished it last night… and let me just tell you… from the chick that laughs her way through horror flicks with a glass of wine… this was bone chilling and terrifying…


Here is a brief synopsis

It’s been six weeks since angels of the apocalypse descended to demolish the modern world. Street gangs rule the day while fear and superstition rule the night. When warrior angels fly away with a helpless little girl, her seventeen-year-old sister Penryn will do anything to get her back. Raffe is a warrior who lies broken and wingless on the street. After eons of fighting his own battles, he finds himself being rescued from a desperate situation by a half-starved teenage girl.

Sounds cheesy right? I thought so too… but I ventured forth anyways… with in the first chapter I am lost in the book…

and as I devoured the book… which was unlike anything I have read before… regardless of the familiar feeling synopsis… I several times stopped and googled the author trying to find out what kind of woman comes up with this stuff…. It was amazing…

terrifying…. gruesome…Not “Saw 1-million (or however many they made)” gruesome… (I laughed through those as well) but truly horrifying…

the story line is awesome

the characters are so unique…

I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone under the age of 16… but I am a prude when it comes to that… If they have played COD or WOW… this will be G-rated in comparison…

Soooo in a horribly all over the place book review… with really no focus thanks to the lack of sleep for fear of the swirling angel vortex… you have my 5 star recommendation… READ IT! .. DISCUSS below!

Brought to you by Mama Kats awesome prompt for a BOOK REVIEW!!

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Condolences to the world…


Depression is such an asshole… Addiction is it’s lover… they go hand in hand as they travel through seas of “cheer up” “Just think positive” “Pray” and “What do you have to be depressed about”‘s … Reveling in a sadness and despondency that actually physically aches… wishing for anything to make it stop….I was shocked to hear about Robin Williams this evening… I was even more shocked at how deeply saddened I was… Like everyone else I feel like I have known him my entire life… I grew up with Mork and Mindy… I made it through some of the hardest parts of my teenage years with Dead Poets Society… Patch Adams made my year… I so deeply loved What Dreams May Come… regardless of its reviews about being depressing and strange… I thought it was so beautiful…. I LOVED him in insomnia, already being a Stephen King fan… when you add Robin Williams to that recipe I was in heaven… I raised my small and tall on Flubber, Aladin, Jumanji and ofcourse Hook! Toys was another one kinda unknown and I adored it… I decided to divorce my smalls father based on the line in Mrs Doubtfire “I do not like who I am when I am with you”… and like everyone else, though I didn’t know him, all I knew were these characters, I loved him.

My Heart is broken for his family… I have no words for how sorry I am for them and their loss….

Money, Fame, Fortune, Awards… Not enough… So when you wish for something outside of you to make you happy… realize it does not.

And most of all…. if you are hurting… if you are alone… if you are not safe… Please get help…

Suicide Prevention Hotlines: Please share.

You do not know what demons people have to fight

You do not know what demons people have to fight


Hunger Like Love… A Book Review

I Already Reviewed it on Amazon but I found myself with more to say….

Hunger Like Love … By Jane Devin (Author of Elephant Girl)

After reading the title I found myself quite shocked to be in the story of a young child… but I quickly came to love the character “Easton” I related too much… and was impressed by the lack of anger the writing expressed… in fact it was written beautifully… and without resentment… I quickly came to love Easton in his adulthood… His display of unconditional love in parenting a child that was not his… the lengths he went to… the moral integrity told in such a way that I found myself letting go of so much of my own resentments. Then his relentless search for love… never giving up… finding it in the most unusual places… and his love affair with mankind as a whole…. I found myself smiling through this book… I found myself cheering on his daughter Liberty… I was inside the story… and that takes a special kind of writing.


I read Elephant Girl … Jane’s first novel… and fell in love with her writing style then. There is something so poetic about it. Every good writer can describe a scene in such a way that makes you feel you are there, and in that hopes to encourage you to feel as the characters feel along the way…. Jane has the ability to describe the emotions in such a way that you feel them, physically, and then it is not so hard to imagine your surroundings being the same as the characters.

If you find yourself giving up on man kind… or looking for good in it… read Hunger Like Love… it is still there.

My Favorite Excerpt

” I’d written once that my desire for a partner, for intimate love, was like a hunger that other types of love did not fill, and that few times I tried to explain it to well-meaning people inevitably led to them point out that I had the love of a daughter and friends. The more I tried to clarify that it wasn’t the same, the more misunderstood I felt. I wasn’t looking for pity or bromides. I didn’t want to be told, as if it were a fact, that the right person would come along when I wasn’t looking. I didn’t want to be encouraged to get a therapeutic massage, volunteer more time to social causes or adopt another pet. I simply wanted to share what it was like to feel the kind of restless hunger I felt. I wanted my friends to know the part of me that was so often hidden or buried. After a few attempts I quit confiding. I understood that it was like trying to explain the gnawing ache of hunger pangs to people who had never gone hungry.”

I hope I never forget what it is like to be hungry.


The Fault in our stars… a Novel by John Green

Every once in a while I take a break from reading the end of the world Sci-fi, Apocalyptic stuff I normally read… The first said break was “Brain on Fire” by Susannah Callahan… Which was amazing, and I would recommend it to anyone who has an interest in psychology or writing, it was well done, and the first half of the book was utterly terrifying and I kept imagining myself as having some of her early symptoms… the second half was fascinating, and very detailed, which is the kind of book it was and it was done very well. I would recommend it…. But that is not the book that changed my life this year (A bit of a dramatic statement considering it is only the end of February, but still)…

The Fault in our stars… a review from a 40 year old perspective.

I heard the young girls in the office talking about it… I read the synopsis for the movie on IDMB…  when I went to purchase it for my kindle it recommended other books for me like “perks of being a wall flower” and “Eleanor and Park” which I am positive are fantastic books… but YA Romance is not really my thing… I downloaded it anyways… even more convinced now that I would not like it…. I read it with in the weekend.

Rather than give you the rundown on the story line, which can be found on the back of the book cover if you are in the store… or on good reads… amazon… ect. Let me give you a rundown of life changing realizations.

#1 – Everything that I think is important to teach my children would change if they were terminally ill…. That being said… Why am I so focused on those things… I do not want to have to be dying… or confronted with inevitable death of a loved one to see what truly matters… Turning in that essay for english… meeting some girl at the library… Sophomore orientation… practicing the piano… all of these daily nags… constant reminders… parenting things I do would not matter at all… I would want him to play the piano only if he was moved to do so… I would want him to spend more time with that girl at the library… less time on the essay about Romeo and Juliet and more time reading Shakespears other works. I would talk less about cleaning his room and have conversations about art… music… love. I would make breakfast for dinner more often… I would work less…I would take him to the symphonies still… we would still have our drives… and dance in the car like we do… I would talk to him about politics… and not protect him as much. I would treat him differently… try to make his life more full… experience more…. I will work on this.

#2 – I never question what happens next… for example… I do not have the imagination to think of characters outside of the pages of the book I am reading… in the book… Hazel Grace writes her favorite author… she demands answers of the other characters … where did they go… did they marry? did they die? … With books and like so much else in my life… I take what is presented at face value… I do not question why… or how.. and when it is over… I close the book (or these days, shut off the kindle) and forget about those people that I loved, envied or despised almost instantaneously and go back to the routine… shower… coffee… work… dinner… lessons… bed… and though I am moved while I escape in the words… I don’t keep the movement fluid in my life… that is heartbreaking really… because so much of myself… what defines me… had been discovered in a book…. and I demand to know the following… What happened with Hazel Grace, I know she dies… but how.. and who else’s life does she alter with her friendship… How does her mom cope with the loss… does she finish school…. follow her aspirations… and her father… Does he find a way to go on…. Does the blind boy and his girlfriend ever reconcile with each other… even become amicable? does he find love again? What does his adult life look like?

#3 – Support groups are entirely underrated… I should find one… Something outside of this computer … this blog… social media in general. I should belong to something.

#4 – I have an affinity for books that talk about stars… I forget how much I love them… I forget to drive up away from the city and look at them… I will do this more often…. I know that sounds so simple.. but that is why I read the book… simply the title.

#5 – I want to hold the thing that can kill me, and take away its ability to… I want that fear removed from my life. I want a metaphor for my existence.

I never once got that sappy feeling when the kids fell in love… I didn’t weep when Augustus died… I wish I had. I wish I had been moved to tear… I think something is wrong with me. I did weep however when she climbed all of those stairs … because she owed it to Anne Frank… I was moved.

I hated the fact that the author came to America… somewhere in my mind I thought that they were imagining it… it was too much.

I related to the horrible things he said… I related to having a drunk in my life disappoint me. Expectations are a vice…

I loved the book… Read it… share your thoughts.

“Oh, the night makes you a star
And it holds you cold in its arms
You’re the one to whom nobody verses I love you
Unless you say it first
So you lie there holding your breath
And it’s strange how soon you forget
That you’re like stars
They only show up when it’s dark
Cause they don’t know their worth” (Shine – Anna Nalick)

The fault in our stars




Frozen: Letting Go

I know.. .I know! Believe me I know that I shouldn’t waste my time getting drawn into this… I know that it is energy spent on something that shouldn’t be given… I read it yesterday… much like everyone else I would assume… and at first I laughed… Then my irritation grew… and as the day wore on I just couldn’t shake it… the words had settled in my skin… and my least favorite feeling in this myriad of emotions I go through is shame… I was ashamed of my friend who shared it on Facebook voicing her agreement (this is how I came across it to begin with, before it was ever picked up by the local media) … I was embarrassed to be living in Utah… where not only is this popular opinion but it was picked up by the media… Every fiber was annoyed… by the name of the blog… and every hateful word typed out… I am not going to counter her opinions… I just figured I would do a little review and opinionating of my own…. you know… from a well behaved person that has not lost her ever loving mind to hate and paranoia.

Frozen: Letting Go

Let me paraphrase… The movie opens with these two adorable sisters… laughing and playing in the snow and ice created by the eldest Elsa … Surely this is dark magic right? Sorcery? Witchcraft? don’t you worry… its a Disney Movie… and its JUST A STORY…  I saw it five times… Its full of dark magic and sorcery… and death… and treason… trolls who adopt the poor guy with apparently poor personal hygiene  being raised by a reindeer… but the poor guy with the Swedish accent it surely the problem… Oh that and the fact that the girl… who DOESN’T FEEL THE COLD takes of her repressive cape that she had to wear for a coronation is being considered to sex it up… hey hey… who am I to judge… I’m sure the people taking issue with this also wear these swim suits… and I’m cool with that…


My favorite part of the movie is the Let it Go sequence… as I am sure anyone with a 7 year old knows… it is catchy… and dramatic… and the graphics are beautiful… and everyone is covering it!! (See my Themesong Thursday Post)

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I’m the Queen.

Queen of isolation… I get that… Trapped by expectations

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried

Storm inside… raging emotions… Okay, I don’t have snow flakes sprinkling from my fingertips… but I am relating to this chic.

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know

Ahhh sweet sweet emancipation… from worrying about what others think of me… from judgement… and cruel words.

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door

I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway

It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all

It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free

Freedom from fear… self confidence… self discovery… Fantastic!

Let it go, let it go

Let go of the negative… hey smallest child… I hope you memorize each and every word of it!

I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry

Ha ha! okay okay… crying is okay… even if people see it… but not “You” not the people that I am letting go of… not the people that wanted me to be someone I am not

Sing sing sing… lots more words… storm rages on… etc

You get the idea… I take absolutely no offense to someone shedding what was forced upon them and coming to their own opinions, aspirations, dreams and I will cheer on my children whether it is at their graduation from college… or a pole dancing competition (please please let it not be pole dancing… so awkward)


and so… in conclusion… if you have to take some moral to what is really just an awesome story with fantastic music and stunning visuals… take this… Love is unconditional… Sisters before Misters…. also… reindeer raise gentlemen… Braids are sexy and trolls are love experts…. That is all

SO someone needs to explain to me how she gets from cryokinetic power to same-sex attraction?


OH! and someone better tell their kids… whether oaken likes men or not (which I don’t understand why that is relevant when he is just selling some damn carrots) that a Swedish accent isn’t required for someone to be gay… they can choose that for themselves… and they will be accepted and loved and keep their voice :)


Adventures in Babysitting….

mama kats A movie you loved as a child

Remember this little gem? Cue the opening credits:

I could reenact this whole scene… just sayin… I could quote most of the movie by heart…. enhanced-buzz-30116-1380674152-15

…. after all her dancing like an idiot our lead character… Chris Parker… gets the news from her boyfriend Mike that he has to cancel their date because his little sister is sick. Dejected –  Chris gets roped into babysitting for the Anderson family’s two kids, Brad and Sara. Well only 8 year old Sara really needs a babysitter because Brad is 15 years old and happens to have a huge crush on Chris. It seems the night might be a pretty boring one despite the awkwardness of Brad having to be babysat by his older crush until Chris gets a call from her friend Brenda. She’s at the bus station downtown after running away from home and having blown money on the ride there… she now needs Chris to come and pick her up. With no choice but to bring Brad and Sara along… And so the adventure begins!

I think my facial expression was similar the first time small child threw up out of the corners of his eyes!

I think my facial expression was similar the first time small child threw up out of the corners of his eyes!

How about some 80’s style Thorgasms to finish this little walk down memory lane… Quit laughing… this was TOTALLY considered hot once.



What was your favorite movie from your youth? I need some good suggestions as I seem to be coming down with a cold…. I’m pretty sure Ive got some more great movies in my coming weekend.

UPDATED: – I just think you needed this as well…

Catching Fire!


We saw it last night… in a sold out IMAX show… Sold out shows give me panic attacks… am I the only one that can thank that creepy orange haired Freak mentally ill man in colorado for that?

For me, the movie felt like 2 halves … pre-Games and during-Games. I can’t even tell you which part I liked most… Yes, the action and suspense of the action that takes place during the Games is gripping … but the emotional pounding we get before the Games is just … wow … also intense… I’m not going to lie, I felt pangs of heartbreak in my chest in various parts of the film … and I may have teared up a few times (I’m not even sure who made me cry more… Prim or Rue).

That’s a good movie! … one that can make you FEEL something physically.

I generally am not impressed with film adaptations of books (Although I LOVED the Harry Potter movies) but I was HUGELY impressed with this one. The spirit of the book is alive and very well in this film. Yes, we get a condensed version of all of the action that takes place in the book but the 2 1/2 hours of screen time is used very, very well… There is NO HINT of what’s to come at all in the forthcoming sequel films … which is good for those of you who have not read the books, I think.

I don’t think any of the Hunger Games fans will be disappointed… very well done… I was nervous I’ll admit… but not in the least let down

A reader lives a thousand lives….

I love to read… I love several genres of Novels… The prompt is to list 8 books that I believe everyone should read in their lifetime

mama kats

Here we go- in no particular order…

Harry Potter- by J.K. Rowling; I am going to cheat a little…I am not going to use up my 8 books by mentioning all 7 books. But you should read all 7. I love them, I cannot imagine a world without the magic that happened around that lovely book series.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan – By Lisa See; I read this recently, I have always had a fascination with the Chinese traditions and philosophies around women. If this is something that you read about (And are thankful we are not being raised this way(Unless you are… then I’m sorry)) I also recommend the beloved Amy Tan books as well as EVERYTHING by Anchee Min, I intend to read more Lisa See books and will keep you posted on how I feel about them.

The Night Circus – By Erin Morgenstern; I had never read a book like this! It was so different, and bizarre, and full of mystery that never really answered itself. I loved the characters, I love the scenes, I just loved this book. I would like to put other books here because that seems to be what I am doing… but this really is such a stand alone book, It is so Unique, short of the great “Something Wicked This Way Comes” nothing even could be paired with this book (which the only thing these books have in common is a circus)… Oh! Read some Ray Bradbury… just because.

The Book Thief- By Markus Zusak; I am sure this will make several peoples lists as it is very much talked about right now… and with good reason, It was beautifully and uniquely written… I applaud the author for finding a beautiful way to tell such a horrible story… That being said other books in the genre that everyone should have read by now are of course- Anne Frank, To Kill a Mocking Bird, Black Boy and Escape from Camp 14. Be educated.

ROOM – By Emma Donoghue; There is kind of a theme to my book selections, I am fascinated with different types of writing styles, I like to read books that are written so differently that they don’t remind you of anything else… I Loved this book for that reason only, But that being said, I often read survivors books – Elizabeth Smart, Jaycee Dugard ect. I do believe there is something (beyond the horror) of these that encourages me and takes away some of the power from these monsters…. I also believe they wrote their story for a reason… and it deserves to be read as a tribute to their strength. Speaking of Great Survivors, another one is Elephant Girl by Jane Devin. Beautifully Written. Also, The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls.

The Hunger Game Series – By Suzanne Collins; I cringe to mention this because it already get so much press, but they are FANTASTIC- and if this is the kind of book appeals to you, for the loved of god read The Host, and the Mortal Instruments series, also  read Divergent, Insurgent and Allegient, as well as Matched, Crossed, Reached, as well as the Uglies and the Pretties, as well as Most things by Amanda Hockings (Other than the vampire ones… unless you really liked twilight… which I didn’t and you will notice is not listed here)

Circle of Friends- By: Maeve Binchy – I Love love her books in general, I loved the Lilac Bus, Tara Road and The Glass Lake… There are more, but you get the idea… These are what I read when I just want to feel… not relate… just feel. Her descriptions of different country sides over the EU is beautiful as well… Just beautiful.

Crank- By Ellen Hopkins – also followed by Glass… and there are many more… If you have a teenager… you should read these. Just my personal opinion. Plus the first thing you will notice about them is that they are written in a different manner once again, than anything I have ever read.



I would LOVE LOVE LOVE it if you all would leave me a comment with your list, or suggestions, as I am also on the prowl for my next life.

World War Z – A mom’s review

First thing worth mentioning- Pitt always looks as if he not only needs a bath, as well as a haircut and shave… And yet, still totally hot.

Opening scene shows us Lane interacting endearingly with his adorable family: wife Karin and two daughters, one with a stuffed animal and one with asthma. We have just enough time to fall in love with them on what seems like an ordinary day.. They really are an adorable family… The mother really is the hero of this story in my book, and all hell breaks loose while they are driving to work and school. At first, all is confusion and chaos, and then the zombies arrive. They are fast and aggressive and it takes just 12 seconds after a person is attacked for them to become fast and aggressive zombies themselves. Zombies are, as we have come to know from many other movies, extremely focused and therefore extremely effective. They have just one purpose: to create more zombies. They will do whatever it takes to whomever it takes. And the humans who must try to survive will be faced with terrible choices.

PG-13 Rating

Parents should know that this film has graphic and disturbing images, extended very intense sequences of peril with many characters injured and killed, scary and disgusting zombies, emergency amputation, guns, explosions, and chases.

I took my 13 year old (Weeks away from 14) to see this and I offered several times to walk out of the theater with him if it were too much… He declined through out the movie… even though he jumped in his seat multiple times (He has never seen anything that is not age appropriate to him, I have managed to keep him from any R rated films thus far) The movie keeps things taut and involving, holding back information to keep us just a little strung out and then allowing us some release at just the right moment. The zombies are fast and relentless. Even at a PG-13 level, with muted gore, they are very disturbing. One just clicks his teeth with what could hardly be described as a knowing look — maybe just focused — and it is really creepy. From the heartbeat sound behind the opening logo to the seemingly innocent moments that turn ominous, the pacing is tight and absorbing and the the characters and the puzzle weighty. But it is Pitt who makes it all work. He is so good at everything that we almost wonder why he needs a plane — surely he can just fly to the next city on his own — but his un-angsty goodness and sheer star power is itself the most powerful reminder of why it is that we want the humans to win.

It described Mother nature as the most clever serial killer, I loved this view point and think that it makes some great discussions for classic philosophy, Good Vs. Evil, Survival of the fittest, ect.

We were all a little bit jumpy afterwards- The amazing super moon hovering over us on the drive home with cloud wisps across it, as if it were a drawing from a horror novel didn’t help much.

I highly recommend it, It is a good teen flick (perhaps a bit older teens, as my own slept with his laser gun last night)