Angel Fall… and now I can’t sleep.


Soooo let me just insert an excerpt of what I tried to fall asleep too last night….

The streets have turned desolate and empty of people. We are out of the aerie district and in the demolished zone. Miles of burnt-out car husks and wrecked buildings flow by. The wind whips my hair around my face as we drive through the charred and broken skeleton of our world.

That was the happy ending I stayed up late to try to get too…. anything to erase the fear building up inside of me during the climax of the story…

But I am getting too far ahead of myself…. Let’s go back…

I am ALWAYS on the look out for my next book… I’ve read everything… every genre… (Other than that 50 shades stuff… don’t get me started on that again… but you can always read my thoughts on it here.)

But lately… much like the rest of the world … the world according to Amazon Kindle anyways… I have been reading a lot of pre & post  Apocalyptic crap lately… This of course was started by the Hunger Games series that rocked all of our socks….

I’ve read all the vampire series… even really horrible ones…. supernatural this and that… crossed… matched… reached…. the uglies… the pretties…  all of the Giver books… the list is endless… I of course take some breaks in this to keep my mind from melting into a pile of goo and read something with more… oomph? such as 12 years a slave… the invention of wings… brain on fire was a super intense read…. okay… I digress… regardless of how it came about I purchased and began to read Angel Fall by Susan Ee… Sunday morning before the Super Bowl… I finished it last night… and let me just tell you… from the chick that laughs her way through horror flicks with a glass of wine… this was bone chilling and terrifying…


Here is a brief synopsis

It’s been six weeks since angels of the apocalypse descended to demolish the modern world. Street gangs rule the day while fear and superstition rule the night. When warrior angels fly away with a helpless little girl, her seventeen-year-old sister Penryn will do anything to get her back. Raffe is a warrior who lies broken and wingless on the street. After eons of fighting his own battles, he finds himself being rescued from a desperate situation by a half-starved teenage girl.

Sounds cheesy right? I thought so too… but I ventured forth anyways… with in the first chapter I am lost in the book…

and as I devoured the book… which was unlike anything I have read before… regardless of the familiar feeling synopsis… I several times stopped and googled the author trying to find out what kind of woman comes up with this stuff…. It was amazing…

terrifying…. gruesome…Not “Saw 1-million (or however many they made)” gruesome… (I laughed through those as well) but truly horrifying…

the story line is awesome

the characters are so unique…

I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone under the age of 16… but I am a prude when it comes to that… If they have played COD or WOW… this will be G-rated in comparison…

Soooo in a horribly all over the place book review… with really no focus thanks to the lack of sleep for fear of the swirling angel vortex… you have my 5 star recommendation… READ IT! .. DISCUSS below!

Brought to you by Mama Kats awesome prompt for a BOOK REVIEW!!

mama kats


Cold No More.- Fiction

“Go oft to the house of thy friend, for weeds choke the unused path.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

She hadn’t been here in a while… truth be told… it had been almost 6 months… The groundskeepers have not been here to do spring clean up yet… there are branches bare and lying on the grass… straw like yellowed grass … sharp… with new bright green sprouts beginning to pop through them showing life renewed… the grass will be the only life brought back here… the friends here would never walk on this grass… She stopped then… next to the statue of the angel… and the fountain that was still dry awaiting maintenance and care. Stooping to pluck a blade of the fresh new green grass she let out a long shaky breath… exhaling deeply and inhaling the scent of the pines that framed the hillside… she twirled the grass between her fingers and wished for a moment that the lives buried under it could be reborn as well, that she could pluck her friend and put him at her side again… his shoulder brushing against hers as they walked… his laughter at her morbid sense of humor… his constant need to startle her… causing her to jump, shrink back and scream of terror… his companionship.

Her eyes traveled then to one of the grouping of pines along the path… his marker was over grown with dandelions and long crab grass… and regardless of her need to have time stand still… or stop all together… it had passed. She made her way there and squatted down… tracing his name with the tip of her finger… the granite still cold… the ground beneath it must be cold as well… she was cold… was he? she pulled the dandelions… blowing on a few and watching their seeds blow through the air… dancing with it as if the wind were leading it through some intricate steps. She pulled back the coarse crab grass… cutting her finger on a blade… similar to a paper cut.

“I am sorry I have been away so long my friend. There is not a day that you are not part of a story I tell or a gesture that I make. I miss you.”

She felt better… talking to him… she knew the stages of grief… she believed she could still feel his light here… she would return often.

She made her way back down the hillside… and outside the gates of the Washington Street Cemetery. They were there… waiting for her… they each took a side of her… their shoulders brushing hers.. She smiled up at at the sky as the sun shone so brightly… as it does every spring after a cold long winter. Each moment counted… Each word could be the last …  this  season was meant to be savored.

“I Love you guys”

They smiled down at her and both leaned in at the same time until she was crushed between them “Smunch Sandwich!”



I found the Tardis!!!!

Okay… this is pretty freaking cute… and I know you can’t see it in the image…. so I will explain… above my home is an LDS temple up on the mountain side… right smack dab in the middle of a residential neighborhood… and all around this statuesque building are signs that state “temple parking” …. one night… driving with small child… having one of our “talks” we drive past a house directly across the street from it…. and there is one section of the parkway roped off… and the sign states “Dr. Who Fans Parking” … and on their lawn was THE TARDIS!!!…. so we parked there… and it was very dark… but I jumped out for the photo op because…. HA!… and double HA! HA!

I don’t know who these people are… but I love them… that is all.

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And since this is the closest I ever want to be to the temple… I would like to dedicate this Wordless Wednesday post to my favorite male LDS missionary in the field (and his momma)…. you will have better luck getting people to see temples if you have a Tardis… that is all

If you are in Georgia.... and see this kid... Tell him to get a Tardis!!!

If you are in Georgia…. and see this kid… Tell him he needs a Tardis!


The Fault in our stars… a Novel by John Green

Every once in a while I take a break from reading the end of the world Sci-fi, Apocalyptic stuff I normally read… The first said break was “Brain on Fire” by Susannah Callahan… Which was amazing, and I would recommend it to anyone who has an interest in psychology or writing, it was well done, and the first half of the book was utterly terrifying and I kept imagining myself as having some of her early symptoms… the second half was fascinating, and very detailed, which is the kind of book it was and it was done very well. I would recommend it…. But that is not the book that changed my life this year (A bit of a dramatic statement considering it is only the end of February, but still)…

The Fault in our stars… a review from a 40 year old perspective.

I heard the young girls in the office talking about it… I read the synopsis for the movie on IDMB…  when I went to purchase it for my kindle it recommended other books for me like “perks of being a wall flower” and “Eleanor and Park” which I am positive are fantastic books… but YA Romance is not really my thing… I downloaded it anyways… even more convinced now that I would not like it…. I read it with in the weekend.

Rather than give you the rundown on the story line, which can be found on the back of the book cover if you are in the store… or on good reads… amazon… ect. Let me give you a rundown of life changing realizations.

#1 – Everything that I think is important to teach my children would change if they were terminally ill…. That being said… Why am I so focused on those things… I do not want to have to be dying… or confronted with inevitable death of a loved one to see what truly matters… Turning in that essay for english… meeting some girl at the library… Sophomore orientation… practicing the piano… all of these daily nags… constant reminders… parenting things I do would not matter at all… I would want him to play the piano only if he was moved to do so… I would want him to spend more time with that girl at the library… less time on the essay about Romeo and Juliet and more time reading Shakespears other works. I would talk less about cleaning his room and have conversations about art… music… love. I would make breakfast for dinner more often… I would work less…I would take him to the symphonies still… we would still have our drives… and dance in the car like we do… I would talk to him about politics… and not protect him as much. I would treat him differently… try to make his life more full… experience more…. I will work on this.

#2 – I never question what happens next… for example… I do not have the imagination to think of characters outside of the pages of the book I am reading… in the book… Hazel Grace writes her favorite author… she demands answers of the other characters … where did they go… did they marry? did they die? … With books and like so much else in my life… I take what is presented at face value… I do not question why… or how.. and when it is over… I close the book (or these days, shut off the kindle) and forget about those people that I loved, envied or despised almost instantaneously and go back to the routine… shower… coffee… work… dinner… lessons… bed… and though I am moved while I escape in the words… I don’t keep the movement fluid in my life… that is heartbreaking really… because so much of myself… what defines me… had been discovered in a book…. and I demand to know the following… What happened with Hazel Grace, I know she dies… but how.. and who else’s life does she alter with her friendship… How does her mom cope with the loss… does she finish school…. follow her aspirations… and her father… Does he find a way to go on…. Does the blind boy and his girlfriend ever reconcile with each other… even become amicable? does he find love again? What does his adult life look like?

#3 – Support groups are entirely underrated… I should find one… Something outside of this computer … this blog… social media in general. I should belong to something.

#4 – I have an affinity for books that talk about stars… I forget how much I love them… I forget to drive up away from the city and look at them… I will do this more often…. I know that sounds so simple.. but that is why I read the book… simply the title.

#5 – I want to hold the thing that can kill me, and take away its ability to… I want that fear removed from my life. I want a metaphor for my existence.

I never once got that sappy feeling when the kids fell in love… I didn’t weep when Augustus died… I wish I had. I wish I had been moved to tear… I think something is wrong with me. I did weep however when she climbed all of those stairs … because she owed it to Anne Frank… I was moved.

I hated the fact that the author came to America… somewhere in my mind I thought that they were imagining it… it was too much.

I related to the horrible things he said… I related to having a drunk in my life disappoint me. Expectations are a vice…

I loved the book… Read it… share your thoughts.

“Oh, the night makes you a star
And it holds you cold in its arms
You’re the one to whom nobody verses I love you
Unless you say it first
So you lie there holding your breath
And it’s strange how soon you forget
That you’re like stars
They only show up when it’s dark
Cause they don’t know their worth” (Shine – Anna Nalick)

The fault in our stars




Frozen: Letting Go

I know.. .I know! Believe me I know that I shouldn’t waste my time getting drawn into this… I know that it is energy spent on something that shouldn’t be given… I read it yesterday… much like everyone else I would assume… and at first I laughed… Then my irritation grew… and as the day wore on I just couldn’t shake it… the words had settled in my skin… and my least favorite feeling in this myriad of emotions I go through is shame… I was ashamed of my friend who shared it on Facebook voicing her agreement (this is how I came across it to begin with, before it was ever picked up by the local media) … I was embarrassed to be living in Utah… where not only is this popular opinion but it was picked up by the media… Every fiber was annoyed… by the name of the blog… and every hateful word typed out… I am not going to counter her opinions… I just figured I would do a little review and opinionating of my own…. you know… from a well behaved person that has not lost her ever loving mind to hate and paranoia.

Frozen: Letting Go

Let me paraphrase… The movie opens with these two adorable sisters… laughing and playing in the snow and ice created by the eldest Elsa … Surely this is dark magic right? Sorcery? Witchcraft? don’t you worry… its a Disney Movie… and its JUST A STORY…  I saw it five times… Its full of dark magic and sorcery… and death… and treason… trolls who adopt the poor guy with apparently poor personal hygiene  being raised by a reindeer… but the poor guy with the Swedish accent it surely the problem… Oh that and the fact that the girl… who DOESN’T FEEL THE COLD takes of her repressive cape that she had to wear for a coronation is being considered to sex it up… hey hey… who am I to judge… I’m sure the people taking issue with this also wear these swim suits… and I’m cool with that…


My favorite part of the movie is the Let it Go sequence… as I am sure anyone with a 7 year old knows… it is catchy… and dramatic… and the graphics are beautiful… and everyone is covering it!! (See my Themesong Thursday Post)

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I’m the Queen.

Queen of isolation… I get that… Trapped by expectations

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried

Storm inside… raging emotions… Okay, I don’t have snow flakes sprinkling from my fingertips… but I am relating to this chic.

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know

Ahhh sweet sweet emancipation… from worrying about what others think of me… from judgement… and cruel words.

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door

I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway

It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all

It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free

Freedom from fear… self confidence… self discovery… Fantastic!

Let it go, let it go

Let go of the negative… hey smallest child… I hope you memorize each and every word of it!

I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry

Ha ha! okay okay… crying is okay… even if people see it… but not “You” not the people that I am letting go of… not the people that wanted me to be someone I am not

Sing sing sing… lots more words… storm rages on… etc

You get the idea… I take absolutely no offense to someone shedding what was forced upon them and coming to their own opinions, aspirations, dreams and I will cheer on my children whether it is at their graduation from college… or a pole dancing competition (please please let it not be pole dancing… so awkward)


and so… in conclusion… if you have to take some moral to what is really just an awesome story with fantastic music and stunning visuals… take this… Love is unconditional… Sisters before Misters…. also… reindeer raise gentlemen… Braids are sexy and trolls are love experts…. That is all

SO someone needs to explain to me how she gets from cryokinetic power to same-sex attraction?


OH! and someone better tell their kids… whether oaken likes men or not (which I don’t understand why that is relevant when he is just selling some damn carrots) that a Swedish accent isn’t required for someone to be gay… they can choose that for themselves… and they will be accepted and loved and keep their voice 🙂


… Sweet Escape

mama katsWrite a blog post inspired by the word: Vacation

The snow is melting… patches of dirty… blackened snow still hides in the corners of the yard… but the muddy trampled looking grass is underneath… I am sure we will get layered again… but the majority of it is gone. The air is a little clearer… the sky a little bluer… the temperature a little warmer… we have been trapped inside… watching entirely too much TV… I start thinking about swimming pools… walks around the lake… and weekends at the big lake! These things are coming! I feel like everything gets a little lighter in my world.

But where I truly want to be is the Ocean… even more specific … Morro Bay… With the waves crashing against Morro rock… It is my favorite place in the entire world… and I have been to many corners of the world… Paris… Lisbon… Moscow… Maui…. all of these are not as appealing to me right this moment as a day in Morro Bay…

I would start the day with a latte from the small coffee/ice cream parlor on atascadero street… then park on the beach side of the rock… I would let the smalls run until they couldn’t run anymore… watching for Jelly fish that are sometimes spawning on the sand… searching out shells… and I would just sit… there at the curve created by the sandbar and the giant rock…. and watch the sun light the water that rolls lazily onto the sand… I would rent a kite from the kite shop directly across the street behind me… if the wind is strong… and fly that monstrous thing as high as it can go…. I would take the kids to see the junk house… the aquarium… Mr amazing and the smalls could play a game on the life-sized chess board… and we could stop at the shell shop… to buy little creatures made out of shells for our friends back home… I would visit my grandparents memorial… I miss them so much sometimes… everyday… My Grandfather would be so proud of Small Child and the man he is becoming… he would have adored Mr. Amazing…. My Grandmother would love smallest child… and all of her energy. We would walk through the Eucalyptus Trees… we would head to Los Osos for the most amazing clam chowder and walk the entire pier….

We would eat sauerkraut at Hauffbras… We would shop… in all those touristy t-shirt shops… and trinket shops… we would visit the sea lions… hundreds of them in a protected cove that can be seen from the highway above…. We would see Hearst castle up there on the hill… but skip the tour… because it is gaudy and boring.

We would end our day back on the beach… exhausted surely by this point… and dip our toes in the cold water… perhaps if we are lucky we would see the otters… they hold hands when they sleep so they don’t lose each other…. We should all hold hands more…

Imagine if we had a second day… We would head to San Luis Opisbo… and Moon Stone Beach…. with a third day… the vineyards and wines in Paso Robles… But those I will save for another blog…

One day… I will get there.






The Shell Shop, Morro Bay

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The Frost and the Princess – Short Story

WatMButtonTake2wText-300x300 Prompt : “The third day comes a frost, a killing frost.” – William Shakespeare ( response can be fiction or creative non-fiction, and there’s a word limit of 500 words.)


“The third day comes a frost, a killing frost” Tatti muttered Shakespeare’s prose as she cupped her hands and blew her hot breath into them… it was like holding a bit of fog for a moment as it was so chilly she could see her own breath within those hands… November Third… how ironic… and yet even she had to admit the crisp air had a feeling of change to it…  Tatti could use a change more than most… and feeling slight optimistic she un-buried herself from the newspapers she was using as a blanket, when the sun was high around noon the frost that covered them would make them soggy and useless for warmth…it was okay… She never had trouble finding enough of those… and they could only do some much to warm her anyways… Food… now that was a different story… She could never seem to find enough of that… She was always just barely staying ahead of that painful nagging bitch hunger… it could be worse… stay ahead of it she had so far… Tatti… short for Tattiana means Princess in Russian or so she had been told by anyone whom had ever heard her name… “princess my ass” she huffed as she stepped out of the hidden alley between buildings…  as she pulled the ice from her hair that had frozen after the rain had dampened her locks… dread locks… long and dirty blond… really nothing much more than a rats nest clear down to the small of her back… She had as many piercings as she did locks… there wasn’t much left she hadn’t shoved a steel post through… shuffling towards the grey hound station she scuffed her shoes all the way too… not really picking up her feet… or her head to meet the eyes of anyone she passed… as she neared the bus station/youth safe place… she began taking count of the people she saw with in… the teens that had woken up to this painful bitter cold… and her winter count began… she counted the heads of those she recognized… took inventory of who was on the streets these days… killing frost may seem a descriptive word to some… but to Tatti… and the others inside the shelter… they were very literal words… odds were that not all of them would make it through this season… just as seasons past. Aluminum boxes affixed to the ceiling with coils of red heat resembling a snake greeted her as she pushed the door open… The heat burned her numbed nose and cheeks uncomfortably as she defrosted… She found a bench in the corner and sat… trying to blend into the wall really… to be invisible was her goal. Attention was not something she had any use for… promises and good intentions did very little to change her life for more than a meal or two… and she knew the only thing she could count on today was the fact winter was coming… and she was alive.


Reality is tenuous

Hey there… This is something I have not done here before… but something I have often done… I just thought it may be fun… I took the prompt and poof! A short story is born. (and yes… I know… I love my ellipses)

“When the sun sets on All Hallow’s Eve, blanketing the landscape in darkness, it is said the line between the living and the dead, the fantasy and the reality is tenuous.”

(A Halloween Prompt from Write at the Merge)

At Last! Darkness gasps as if for air as the last trace of light is diminished… Her vision is clouded by this dusky twilight time… but she is awake… and hungry… she creeps out to stretch her shadows that have been cramped into the darkest of corners and behind drawn blinds for what seems like an eternity… devouring the color from the landscape… until that need is satiated… and everything is now the color of midnight… This is the night!

They enter the scene as if in surround sound… The snap of a branch … the rustle of leaves… the whispers so hushed that you cannot make out their message… a giggle escapes the small ones … a guttural groan from the old ones… and they join with Darkness like long lost lovers… siblings reunited… a child nestled in its mothers arms. This is the night!

Movement so fast it causes wind so much joy that it howls … and much like a toddler with energy exploding from what seems uncontrolled limbs… shudders are slammed shut like a knocking of unwanted visitors … trees sway in rhythm their bone like branches screeching windows within their reach. This is the night!

Darkness trusts few, but she beckons to Mischief and Mayhem  and they chase from the streets the beings of light… this is not their time… not the place… this time belongs to darkness… and she hopes that on this most powerful night she will finally be able to keep from being chased back into the shadows… to keep light tucked away… trapped in bulbs.. and flames… peeking out from under doors… and through the windows.

You fear the unknown… but the unknown is but a child of darkness… it does not want to play with chaos and murder… but chaos and murder seem to be the only ones willing… and so it goes.

Stay inside… check your children… lock your doors they whisper to the superstitious minds with glee… what fun this is… to laugh and play…

And just like that. And all too soon Light gasps as if for breath as it makes its way over the distant horizon. It brings with it an army of colors that wash over the scene. Not this time darkness. Not this year. Perhaps the next All Hallows Eve will bring your freedom.