The beginning of the end… I hope.

Globally, as of  26 February 2021, there have been 112,649,371 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 2,501,229 deaths, reported to WHO

This morning at 7:40 am I pulled into a movie theater parking lot 50 miles from my house… I couldn’t eat dinner last night… and had only sipped at half of my coffee…. hardly slept at all. Having no idea what to expect or what to do I waited a moment until I saw others slowly entering the building.

Pause for a moment to realize this would be the first building other than my doctors or dentist I will have entered since last March.

I got out of the car and a just as apprehensive Mr. Amazing did as well…

WE WERE IN A MOVIE THEATER!!!! it felt surreal… There was no smell of popcorn… no movies playing… There were about a dozen people inside waiting … either waiting to get vaccinated… or waiting to help us get vaccinated. We checked in and sat… six feet apart… in masks… we watched as the courier brought in the cooler full of doses for us… again… I cannot describe how bizarre this scene is to take in… and then they call my name… and take me into one room… everything roped off and arrows guiding… I stand where they tell me to… and sit when they tell me to… and then it happened.

The nurse giving me the injection begins to tell me what to expect and then she looks at my card… and says… Lupus! I guess you really just don’t know what to expect next. Truer words have not been spoken. I am then escorted to another theater room…. where I am reunited with Mr. Amazing (who also was able to get his shot while there with me) to be monitored for a time. The seats are numbered for spacing and sanitation purposes…. there are huge medical tents in front of the dark screen… and I can only help but hope beyond hope that soon… I will be here again… when it smells of popcorn and goodness… and there will be a movie playing.

After some time… we were told we could go… and we did! holding our cards like they were golden tickets from willy wonka himself.

You guys… I think we are going to make it… and I am so grateful!

End of the World… BINGO!!!

Soooo This was not on my Bingo Card… I’ve got plague… zombies… volcano … nope… no raccoon in the water supply…. anyone ? Anyone?

Surgeon general has corona virus warning: ‘This week, it’s going to get bad’

The disease is spreading, the surgeon general said, because many people are not following the guidance to stay at home. As the preacher who went to Mardi Gras?? (Do preachers do that for real?) Saying we were over reacting…dies from the virus

More so… This Virus is pointing out the inequality… We must flatten the curve… but we must also flatten inequality in health care… the economy… the level of Privilege… access to nutritious food and overall quality of life… It is the only way we can truly emerge from this tragedy with a semblance of hope for the future. People are dying… just dying everywhere.

and I hear the privileged just say… they want to go back to normal… that they are worried about the economy…. people are dying!!!!

I have my library friend in a motel… shes been there four weeks… I cannot afford to keep her there… I do not know what to do… When you are living in a shelter or crowded buildings with multiple family members… or on the street… you don’t have the luxury to socially distance… When you don’t have the luxury to work from home… you can’t avoid getting on a bus or other forms of public transportation to go to work… Ditto when you can’t afford your own car… can’t afford an Uber ride. It’s easy to socially distance in the suburbs or in affluent neighborhoods… but it becomes nearly impossible in crowded urban areas and in lower-income neighborhoods.

Her name is Christine… I Love Her… I do not yet know what to do… we have covered one more week in the Hotel… I spoke to her last night… she is well… but I can feel her string tightening… and it is all she is hanging on by..

How can I keep her alive??

Inequality… Lets talk about the privilege of being able to wear a non-medical mask in public… that is a racial thing… do not make me remind you about my friend in a hoodie… or my other friend who had been raised NOT TO RUN to the car regardless of the weather… how is this mask thing going to work out… I NEED YOU TO BE CONSCIENTIOUS in your judgments and witnessing.

Hang in there… hunker down but keep fighting… Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much… And… Together we will get through this….

I HAVE NOT LOST HOPE!

I am alive… definitely kicking… I realized something through all this
Lupus prepared me for this!This life you are all adjusting too… has been my life for 3 years… Today I fast… with the world…. lots of it anyways… out of solidarity and love of my family… and neighbors… Im an agnostic… what I do believe in is Love… Kindness… and Hope is my religion.
Im in good spirits… Just collecting my history… my story…

I love you guys.

Winter Solstice 2018 – A season of story telling.

According to the National Museum of the American Indian
The winter solstice begins a season of storytelling and ceremony… I would like to spend a few minutes of this solstice wrapping up my unfinished story… and begin on a fresh page… my new story. (and after you read that, I really do recommend reading the article from the Smithsonian above… its kind of amazingly perfect)

For some history…. THIS and then THIS

But if you have been following along these sporadic… every 60 to 90 days postings… I believe I left you here…

I blogged about the tumor arriving two days after they removed it… I blogged about it being the size of a grapefruit or softball… before my post op check… and before pathology… and before anyone told me the doctors had kept me in surgery two hours longer than anticipated… Darth Lumpious was 13.5 centimeters… It was an eggplant not a grapefruit… and then pathology came back, although as predicted… it was benign.

Recovery did not go quite as expected…. obviously a tumor that large left a very deep (Multiple tissue layers sliced and stitched) very large gap in my leg… it also has permanently atrophied my hamstring and nerves… My skin did not grow and heal like one would expect… staples stayed in twice as long as normal… my body never began to heal and push them out… so we removed them… and began wound treatment….

This bloody mess of a bathroom was after the initial clean up after returning from the ER… and when I finally decided that I needed a photo… This is all that was left… but I lost over a gallon of blood that had collected in the gap left… and filled and filled until it burst through the incision and all over my house… car…. husband… and ER…. RIP Towels Bathroom rugs and Clothes lost in the massacre. (FTW Cat Litter Absorbs Blood!!!) So here I am, almost 90 days out from surgery, and the initial incision is healed… still working on the under layers of tissue (Sutures are still there)… I will walk with a cane the rest of my life…. anything longer than a city block… and to be honest… more than that some days if it is cold… or I pushed too hard … I was angry about this at first… but then someone reached out to me… offered me a loved ones cane… left behind when he left the earth. Suddenly I understood using a cane was a privilege… and I gratefully accepted it.

No Leukemia, Tumor Benign, Left with no other diagnosis… I was finally given a diagnosis of Negative ANA Lupus. Which if you have watched House MD, you will find as much comfort in this as I do…. Bahahahahaha… Of the 11 markers of Lupus, I have 5… but not the Positive ANA 98% of Lupus patients have… So rheumatology is where I am headed… and I am sure they will be able to help me… My fever of unknown origin has been back for a several months… and is now manifesting a new symptom… I am unable to regulate my body temperature…

And during all of this life moved forward….
I manage my desk job… Mr Amazing runs the house… Cooks… Shops…. Covers me in blankets and removes my boots… To the moon and back doesn’t adequately describe my love for him…. It is the size of the Universe!!!

The Shit he does for me LMAO!!!

Tall child had a birthday party that will go down in history… Christmas has come…

Where all fairies go in the winter.
Even a little Christmas Magic occurred.

I have lost some friends…. memory… and ability.

But I have gained so much (yes… weight as well)

I am so grateful to be alive… I am so very grateful for my Talls, Smalls and Tinies… I have friends that never left… even when I forgot about them. (I forget everything currently in case you are wondering… I’ve had to scroll back to the top of this at least five times to see what I have written) … I do not know what I did in my life to deserve all of this… but it must have been good.

Oh… Did you really read this all the way to the end???
You get to see the CUTEST KITTEN ON THE PLANET THEN!!!

Bringing Magic Back

In the quest to figure out what I am doing with my life… for my life… why my life… I have been just floating in the wind of change… letting the changes happen… Im at a really rough time of year for me (anniversary of Something Lost) and I find my emotions and moods and temperament as crazy as the weather… and I am going through some bizarre midlife crisis… and anxiety in our house is smothering at this point with all of the recent changes my little squad has gone through… the population of this country is so negative with the elections that even my 9 year old is spouting off serious hate for Donald Trump because it is the cool thing to do at school? (who can blame her or all of them really) and sometimes we in this house feel the bern… and sometimes we just cross our fingers and hope Cruz gets beat… by anyone… (I am totally thrilled with Bernie or Hillary as an option for that) but the discussion amongst the smalls amazes me… everyone hates someone… and everyone is so angry…

I woke up Tuesday morning assuming I would continue down the path of painting my life away… my latest obsession has been quotes on canvas… word arty type shit… when I realized I had two birthday presents to buy… and out of no where I decided I was going to the local garden store, which I can count on one hand how many times ive been there… and my ability to kill every living plant is another topic for a blog all together… but I went anyways…

Once there I found myself in the fairy garden section… Pause here for a little explanation… I dont blog about it… (at least I dont remember blogging about it) but I am HUGE believer in paying it forward as often as I can… I buy meals and coffees for people behind me in drive thrus… I buy random outfits and rent tuxs for my favorite family around the corner (My cookie wifes crew) … I buy sandwiches for the homeless… I buy dogfood for the dogs of the homeless… I always seem to be in a place at a time… and it just happens…. This particular morning in question… I believe it all came about the way it did because I was supposed to do this random act of kindness… because I had never even thought about a fairy garden before …. and I didnt even know if the 2 people who I needed birthday gifts for gave a shit about fairy gardens… Unpause…. I am browsing the darling section at the garden store… and I hear the employees asking if they all had gotten a text… about someone who was VERY ill and they were drilling into her bones to get something out? some infection? and it was all so awful sounding and they were all planning on going in on gift…. and lo and behold… what they wanted to go in on was an indoor fairy garden… but the pot to start it was 50$… so they needed cash from everyone… then they would get a few small things to put in it…. So I grabbed the stuff for my projects that I wanted… and went to the cash register feeling rather strange… realizing that these ladies made way less than I do… and 50$ to them meant a whole lot more than it did to me… and I quietly asked the cashier if I could buy the pot for the girls in the back fairy garden… the cashier was the daughter in law of the sick person… and she was the sweetest thing on the planet that morning for me… I really needed the hug she came around the counter to give me… and I asked her not to tell anyone and I took my purchases and headed to the craft store next…. the craft store… it’s dangerous as hell for me…

Here is how my two gifts ended up (They were fucking awesome and the people who got them LOVED them) it couldn’t have gone better.

This one was for my Ride Or Die Chick :)

This one was for my Ride Or Die Chick 🙂 Its amazing and I wired it with purple lights that light up! and those lil fairies are obviously drinking the wine….

and something a little tamer for Mr. Amazings little sister

and something a little tamer for Mr. Amazings little sister

 

Then when at the craft store getting a few more little things… something else happened… I was falling in love with all the miniature stuff… its so cute… and I had been wondering how I could brighten the mood in our little town… and I had been finding all these amazing quotes to paint and practicing my lettering… and well…. I am now full swing into this little project.

Door1 Door2 Door3 Door4 Door5 Door6 Door7 Door8

I was working on this one last night... with 2 glasses of wine (which only happens like once every couple of months so I was SUPER not painting straight) Soooo I will be fixing this one up a bit

I was working on this one last night… with 2 glasses of wine (which only happens like once every couple of months so I was SUPER not painting straight) Soooo I will be fixing this one up a bit

fairydoors

And then… After glazing them… and using an adhesive on the back… I placed the first six in various spots around town… I told my smalls when I placed them that I knew they would be taken… destroyed… kicked… whatever… that I didnt care… That if I made even one person smile for each door I was going to keep doing it… I put them in places that they wouldnt hurt anything… Not destroy any property… and then I watched… The one on the tree was at a park… I drove by three times that day to tons of kids staring at it in happy fascination … it was gone by the end of the day… I can only hope some little girl took it and put it in her room 🙂

The black one I put outside an old book store that sells and buys used books…. The purple one with the Buddha quote I placed on a boarded up window of an abandoned building on main street…. The double doors ended up on the walking trail behind the library… one on a low income over crowded child care facility mail box (I figure some kids need some magic more than others) one in a visitor parking lot shared by an old folks home and the hospital… and that was it… Ive checked on them a few times… The others are all still where I placed them… and I cant help but wonder if people are seeing them… smiling… finding hope…

There is a big rainstorm slated for today… I will go again and check them afterwards… to see if they are ruined and need to be thrown away (I mean, Its art im not littering right? but I wont leave trash out there) and I started on my next set of them … as you can see above… I also painted a shit ton (that is a unit of measure) of tiny mushrooms (out of dowels) … I figure if the ones out there stand up to the storm… I will add mushrooms to the area… to keep them from becoming something people just pass everyday and dont notice the small miracles life offers.

Tiny lil mushrooms

Tiny lil mushrooms

Last but not least… I have been on a clothing kick lately… and I have been wearing the most awesome stuff… Here was my fairy door attire…. Notice the shoes… thats all… Spread Kindness Like Confetti PEOPLE! I LOVE YOU ALL!

IMG_5836

OMG… Like I wrote a real blog… maybe thats what this whole journey is about… getting back to writing finally…. whatever… I have a TON of doors to get painting

NSFW… in a SFW kinda way

Well… I’ve also got to introduce a new character I suppose to this blog…She needs a name… Let’s just call her the CoffeelessCanadian…

Ya kinda hafta come in mid conversation… Be warned… this is a real thing however… and I wouldn’t click the links if you are at work or have small children around you… but you will eventually need to click the links… because… someone somewhere out there is wearing that underwear… and you wouldn’t even know it. Also… I used the NSFW acronym because well… its funny… and this (SFW) but all the JUNK is covered… I don’t wanna be staring at it… hell I do not even know how they walk around with those things!

69f

Chat:

CoffeelessCanadian: You know you are going to get us both some for CHRISTMAS!

Me: Can’t… I’ve already ordered you this for Christmas – Real EBAY Auction Link (NSFW) 

IMAGE HERE (NSFW)

CoffeelessCanadian: OMG STOP GOGGLING THEM!

Me: They could have at least waxed… just sayin’

CoffeelessCanadian: ROTFL that’s what you notice??? I’m trying to figure out why he is smelling his pits

Me: ROTFLMAO! They are wearing rubber-bands over their JUNK and that is what you notice?

CoffeelessCanadian: I Don’t want him. He is tooooo young and he’d be sloppy GUARANTEED! and I want pants.

Me:  Woman.. anyone that wants whatever kinda man in that thong has issues. It just looks painful!

CoffeelessCanadian: Good hell woman! PANTS! move on… too young.. and judging by his nose placement he has not showered in a while

Me: What if it becomes a swimsuit trend!

CoffeelessCanadian: Then I am putting in my own friggin pool!

Me: Right? Cause your father in law… or any father for that matter…. You are welcome

CoffeelessCanadian: OMG I may officially hate you for that.

Me: BLOGGING THIS!

I love it when he talks dirty to me…

Chat 🙂

 me:  I am buying “King Sized” Muffin tins on amazon… that is all… Imma make all kinds of stuff in those things… I found more ideas… some include yummy dinner things

 

Mr. Amazing:  lol dinner muffins

 

me:  Mini Meatloafs dude! Its gonna happen (Those are words I never ever thought I would say… ever… I have made it a point to NEVER make meatloaf)

 

Mr. Amazing:  Ugh

 

me:  But actually… I was thinking this little taco recipe… LOL and there are other things… chicken bakes… etc.

 

Mr. Amazing: tacos and muffins – seems suspicious

 

me:  Bahahaha Just go with it… im cooking shit… its a miracle

 

Mr. Amazing: I was more thinking that with all of this talk about tacos and muffins…

 

me:  What!.. what ya gonna say? LOLOLOL!

 

Mr. Amazing:  Urban Dictionary … that is all

 

me:  BAHAHAHA!

 

Mr. Amazing:Any number of possibly insulting, more than likely crude, nsfw and otherwise inappropriate comments may ensue (that would be a hilarious tagline for smiffbib)

 

me:  YES! Yes it would!

Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO

I totally made these btw. My Cookie Wife would be so proud!!!

9 Grain Bread, Cage Free Brown Eggs, Swiss Cheese, and Turkey Bacon.

9 Grain Bread, Cage Free Brown Eggs, Swiss Cheese, and Turkey Bacon.

 

Fat Tuesday on Funday Friday :)

Technically this is just a bunch of Gibberish… but it makes me laugh… really there are even two morals to this story…. Bread and Butter Pickles are Nasty…. and Mr Amazing swears a lot when lacking sleep.

Mr. Amazing:  today is dragging so bad that the day itself is literally sad

me:  Its so sad its comfort eating… that is why its Fat Tuesday

Mr. Amazing:  Fat Tuesday is literally a giant horrible sad monster baby crying for it’s mama

me:  and its mama is a doughnut!

Mr. Amazing: literally

me:  I want one

Mr. Amazing:  I literally went out on a limb with that one

me:  Bahahaha

Mr. Amazing: irregardless of the mama doughnut

me:  We should get doughnuts

Mr. Amazing: LOL I am figuratively a horrible person

me:  You are full of all the words

Mr. Amazing:  irregardless literally bothers me to death

me:  Your words make me wanna throat punch you

Mr. Amazing:  so does “aint’ got none”

me:  OH OH! how about “Aint nobody gots time fo dat!”

Mr. Amazing: one doughnut and a side of pithy sarcasm

me:  instead- I am feeding you a hot dog for dinner… and your gonna like it

Mr. Amazing:  use gonna like it

me:  With chips on the side- I am literally not cooking shit

Mr. Amazing:good, because I really, really, really want to avoid you literally cooking shit

me:  BAHAHAHA

Mr. Amazing:  in fact, compared to literal shit, hot dogs seem pretty okay

me:  Thats why I present it that, we helps with expectations

Mr. Amazing: Yes, thanks for lower my expectations to a reasonable (if not menial) level

me:  I have hotdog buns… its a gourmet meal

Mr. Amazing: Oh yeah!

me:  I dont even wanna eat the hot dogs

Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO Hows about with pickles and sauerkraut

me:  Maybe with Sauerkraut but… even then im not so sure… maybe smothered in Nacho Cheese

Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO that sounds nasty

me:  I like cheese (Stating the obvious is my super power)

Mr. Amazing: General Obvious?

me:  Ahem… Captain….Obviously

Mr. Amazing:  Fine… Captain Obvious I got paid!

me:  OH! (We still have to eat the hotdogs, or the buns will go stale)

Mr. Amazing:  Okay But we can have dessert…. <evil laughter>

me:  LOL! Actually- If you send me money… I might really go buy Saurkraut

Mr. Amazing:  OMG – Day… Fucking END

me:  14 minutes

Mr. Amazing: Seriously, I am about to BITCH slap FAT Tuesday

me:  ROTFLMAO!!! I CANNOT believe you just said that

Mr. Amazing:  I am laughing at my desk like an idiot

me:  Ditto

Mr. Amazing: Kerry… I can’t stop

me:  Do you want chili for your hot dogs? You need sleep

Mr. Amazing:  I want mustard

me:  we have mustard

Mr. Amazing: and pickles

me:  Uhhhh Im not sure where we are the pickle front

Mr. Amazing: cuz I think the we have the… “It’s a TRAP!!!”

pickles in the fridge the bread and butter tastes like shit evil pickles of doom

Fuck you Bread n’ Butter pickles… Fuck you….

 me:  ROTFLMAO! Gimme your monies! I will buy you pickles… and destroy the enemy ones

… Meg and the Tomatillo Enchiladas (Sounds like a childs book)

Me: In the oven at this moment is green tomatillo enchilada magic…. You owe meg
         uh  Me… Not meg
         I don’t even know who meg is
         If you know a meg… You don’t owe her… You owe me
Mr Amazing: lol I owe Meg, got it
Me: Nooooo not meg… I will kick Meg’s ass.
Mr Amazing: lol
Mr Amazing: Okay…
Me: Is this meg? I found her on my iPad
Mr Amazing: Oh shit, She doesn’t mean anything to me
                            I promise
             Neither does things one I suppose
Mr Amazing: Nope, not a thing
Me: You’re a floozy

Mr Amazing: I have been called many things
Me: Yeah.. Well My iPad is full of em
Mr Amazing: Lazy, annoying, cold, cruel, mean, forgetful, depressing, killjoy
  but never “floozy”
Me: Well.. There you go
  There’s a first for everything
(Try making those magic enchiladas meg!!! Good luck with that!!! I’m posting the recipe only to show off that I can now use a stove… incase you read my other post)
Chicken green tomatillo enchiladas.
This recipe is a great enchilada sauce, if you wanted little more spicy, throw in extra jalapenos. it will make about 8 enchiladas. 2 per person.
Number of Servings: 4
Ingredients
8 flour tortillas
4 oz mozzarela
shredded chicken breast 12 oz
Canned Tomatillos (large)
Sour cream (One pint (I use the substitute))
1 Can chicken broth
Directions
*Boil chicken breast for about 30 min. shredd the meat.
*boil green tomatillos,peppers,garlic for about 10 min.
*add to blender broth, tomatillos, sourcream.
medium deep pan add the tomatillo sauce as a bottom layer
Roll Tortillas with chicken and cheese. add a little more sauce on top and put some cheese on top of enchiladas.
Enjoy! (Bake at 375 til melted and gooey and bubbling)

… Arachnids on Crack

I found this… All proper credit is given… I just thought it deserved a republication!!!

Spiders On Drugs

Scientists at the United States National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) have turned their attention from the mysteries of the cosmos to a more esoteric area of research: what happens when you get a spider stoned. Their experiments have shown that common house spiders spin their webs in different ways according to the psychotropic drug they have been given. Nasa scientists believe the research demonstrates that web-spinning spiders can be used to test drugs because the more toxic the chemical, the more deformed was the web.

* Spiders on marijuana made a reasonable stab at spinning webs but appeared to lose concentration about half-way through.

* Those on Benzedrine – “speed” – spin their webs “with great gusto, but apparently without much planning leaving large holes”, according to New Scientist magazine.

* Caffeine, one of the most common drugs consumed by Britons in soft drinks, tea and coffee, makes spiders incapable of spinning anything better than a few threads strung together at random.

* On chloral hydrat, an ingredient of sleeping pills, spiders “drop off before they even get started”.

* See what happens to their mental state.

Start with a Drug Free Spider Web

Web created while exposed to Mescaline\Peyote

  

   Web created while exposed to LSD

Web created while exposed to Marijuana

    

    Web created exposed to Caffeine

Web created exposed to Benzedrine/Speed

    Web created exposed to Chloral Hydrat (sleeping pills)

I LOVE IT!!!