How to completely change your life in one week…. Wordless Wednesday!

Everyone Can Marry!

Everyone Can Marry!

The Kid Small Enough to still do this...

The Kid Small Enough to still do this…

Is 17 days away from doing this alone... and paid for his own car

Is 17 days away from doing this alone… and paid for his own car

I did some soul searching

I did some soul searching

Kind of lost my mind and started sending my boss texts like this...

Kind of lost my mind and started sending my boss texts like this…

Then quit my job

Then quit my job

Layer 2

The Light and Shade Challenge

The Light and Shade Challenge

An Epiphany has happened! I am about to tell you about it without the use of an adverb. Thanks to the Light & Shade Challenge! So if this is a hard read… Well… be grateful you did not have to write it.

As I spoke with Small Child last night (Small Child is a nick name, he turns 16 next month) he expressed his dislike of my Nicotine addiction. No, No, I am not a smoker… I used to be… I also used to carry 100 pounds more body fat than I do now… I used to smoke a pack a day…

I need to lose another 100 pounds (I say that with such a casual tone) I need to get off the Nicotine Gum.

Yes… the gum… I have chewed it for years… I feel a little embarrassed by it.

I am half way there. I have done half of what needs to be done.

We set a date… August 10th… to be weened off the stuff…

I hate that anything has a hold on me… I hate being dependent on anything… and as Small Child put it… What if…

What if the Zombie Apocalypse came… He said he would use me as a Nicotine withdrawn weapon… as it would not be available to me.

But I think at this moment, I could face any challenge ahead… Other than writing one more horribly boring … incredibly un-descriptive line of dribble about my mundane physical addictions… I would gladly write a million things other than that… but I needed to get it put in writing… and what better way to do it and aggressively make the point!

Small Child and I!

Small Child and I!

Crackin’ Crawdads

In 5 days this kiddo will have been without his father for 2 years … He is being a little passive agressive… I am being a little smothery…. Mr. Amazing and I took him to one of his favorite memory spots of his father… he ate two bucket fulls… (freaking gross!) …
20150418_122657-COLLAGE

The Leprechauns have landed!

 

Well the year had finally come that St. Patricks Day fell on a day that smallest child was at her Mom’s for the holiday… I knew last year it was coming so I put in a little extra effort into the prank until the St. Patricks Day eve was upon us and we got a tearful call from that co-parent… She hadn’t realized how much smallest child was looking forward to it… smallest child could be heard in the background screaming “If there is no Leprechauns, then there is no Santa, no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy… ” and so on… we thought she had reached the age of not believing and treated her accordingly… only to realize at the last moment that she might still need/want to believe… we figured it out when she was berating her Mom with lines such as “You are ruining my childhood!” … Soooo what is any stepmother supposed to do that has created this monster? I put in a quick call on the Leprechaun line… they managed to pull off a miracle… and her childhood was saved!

They tiptoed outside her Moms apartment... sneaking up to her car... as it was too late to get into the abode.

They tiptoed outside her Moms apartment… sneaking up to her car… as it was too late to get into the abode.

They busted into the car in a flurry of green glitter and shamrock confetti!

They busted into the car in a flurry of green glitter and shamrock confetti!

They left their wisely worded note...

They left their wisely worded note…

And goodies for the wee lass... including her half sister... the wee-er lass

And goodies for the wee lass… including her half sister… the wee-er lass

And that is the story of how we saved St. Patricks Day

And that is the story of how St. Patricks Day was saved!

1508101_10205108263458509_4663964267304022180_n

Tall Child was not forgotten in all of this… he was rewarded with gold coins of his own for his help in the Leprechaun Miracle

 

(You may want to visit our Leprechauns past visits… they are quite evil)

I have had people bemoan my Leprechaun Loyalty in the past… there was the one year a wee lass at school didn’t believe in my smalls Leprechauns

So we helped her build a trap (actually a house because she was afraid of hurting them)

So we helped her build a trap (actually a house because she was afraid of hurting them) The Leprechauns broke into her house (They may have known where the key was hidden and played… quite messily in their kitchen and left some treats!)

And if that is a bit of the stretch from the original prompt I apologize … But you can’t talk about being tricked without a little Leprechaun story!

Writing Prompt :A Time I Was Tricked

Writing Prompt :A Time I Was Tricked

Can I just… No… No… for the love of all that is holy

mama kats Write a poem inspired by the last conversation you had with your child

I slide out from behind the wheel… I think I am going to be ill…

He gets in & adjusts the seat … His expression makes it clear he thinks this is neat!

I buckle in tight … the inside of my cheek I begin to bite!

He puts the vehicle into gear… and smiles to himself over my fear.

Out onto the road he drives… I think I am breaking out in hives.

The first stop sign is not far… I almost go through the windshield of the car.

HUG THE CENTER LINE… YOU ARE DOING JUST FINE

Im screaming and I know it… it was only yesterday he got his first zit!

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY … PLEASE DRIVE MORE SLOWLY

He begins to get a feel for the road… he is in now in driving mode

I let him park in the driveway… that was enough for one day!

“Mom you are the best!” … He smiled and beamed with pride.

“Son, Let’s give driving a rest”… That was the day I almost died.

fin.

2015-01-26 18.52.13