You had me at hello…

mama kats List your top 5 favorite romance movies

I have a little bit of a different outlook on love and marriage I think… I dont know if it is a good one or a bad one… I will say that I am currently happily married to my second husband… If you follow this blog at all you have surely been sickened by my outpouring of love and affection for Mr Amazing… But I also think that love isnt enough to make a marriage work or last… and I also believe that we have more than just love going for us… I give this little preamble to my list because where I find romance the most is in my deepest moments… So that being said…

1- Mrs Doubtfire…. I know it sounds crazy… but this is the movie that finally convinced me I was going to have to end my 18 year marriage with Small’s’ father… The line “I don’t like who I become when I am around you” is finally what did it for me… and I worked through what came next… It was one of the most loving things for both of us that I had ever done.

2. Tara Road – The Holiday was the remake of this and is good, but if you can see the original Tara Road is one of the most moving movies ever… It really explores all of confusing things middle age has brought me

3. Avatar – Yes the blue people movie… maybe I think this is romantic because it is one of the first movies I saw with Mr. Amazing… maybe it is because I love the “I see you” … but the whole sex scene in front of the tree does it for me

4. Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind – This absolutely goes without saying.

5 – Boys on the side – This is one of the sweetest movies of all time… it covers all kinds of relationships with all kinds of people… but love is the resounding theme.

 

And thats my list!

Romantic_movie_quotes_20140226_Romanticmoviequotes

I’ve never even had a rose ceremony!?!?!

mama kats Welcome to the most shocking rose ceremony in writing prompt history.

Please award roses to the ten people (or items) in your life that you’d like to continue pursuing a relationship with.

In no particular order and without further ado…

single red rose

1 – I could fill half of this list with just those who reside in my home… But I am feeling the need to dig deep and really take a personal inventory of that which I am grateful for in my life… That being said… Those in my home deserve mention… Mr Amazing is the love of my life… He is my best friend… and I love him so hard. Small Child (not so small) continues to amaze me daily with his bright charismatic self…. He is the greatest thing that has ever happened to my life… and I can not express the gratitude I have for him… I admire him so much. Smallest Child (Ms SassyPants) is the latest breath of fresh air into my existence… we have really stepped up our StepParent/StepChild game… and I have loved every minute of it… She is so clever… and I am honored to be part of her upbringing…. So that is a Rose for my little Family. (With an honorable mention for Tall Child and her three Tinies!)

FamilyOh My Gosh!

2- Betty Perea – This woman has brought more joy to my life than I can express… She has given more wisdom…invited palpable spirit…  inspired more crazy… and driven more motivation than I can explain… I love her… She teaches humility and gratitude without even saying a word… She is wild and funny… you never know what she is going to say next… She thrives off of keeping people on their toes and she has been the greatest mother like friend I have ever known… She brings a different perspective to the table… and I love her mysticism, skepticism, and superstitions. She gave me my love of coffee and mexican food.   A Rose to my old soul (With an honorable mention to her children, who I love beyond measure)

Betty and Boys

3- Tolman – I have known this chicka forever! She is my Cookie Wife.. My Soul Sister… My Co Parent (for her smalls and mine :))… She goes on all my crazy adventures with me… She wore the Bloggess’s Red Dress with me… We’ve been through marriages and divorces with each other… we have laughed as well as cried the hardest in our lives in front of each other… we are linked by a special energy that is thicker than blood… She is the cheese in my enchilada :) A rose for her… with all the thorns cut off… because just once something beautiful should come to her without the trials. (I would make it rain roses on her beautiful babies who I treat like my own)

Tolman

4 – The Fluffinator! My Stef! My favorite heavy metal loving animal enthusiast teenage rearing sexy beast on the planet… She is my escape… She is my safe place… she is my cohort on adventures that we are way too old to take… She is down to earth… a fantastic mother… she is beautiful… has a passion for purple and a strength like no one else I have ever met. She is so intelligent and she has the biggest heart! She is always up to something fun and most nights seem to end with fireworks and alcohol when we are together.  Raising our two boys together has been amazing… we call each other for advice… to vent… and to discuss anything supernatural. I do not know how I lucked into her entering my life but I am grateful for it every day…. Small Child (not so small) will always think of her as his other mother… She is my back up mom… and I miss her! Roses all around… (honorable mention to her crazy kiddos who I freaking love like crazy)

Stef

5 – Michelle – She is actually my cousin.. I mean that is how we met… but she became my friend in our adult lives… She has more integrity and acceptance in her little finger than I could ever hope to achieve… She is funny… She is talented… She is a great mom.. and has always always been there for me… no matter what I have needed. She is so kind… and when someone starts gossiping or being negative she is the first one to shut it down. She is always willing to try new things and lets me just be me. Our kids have trick or treated together every year for as long as I can remember… Eventually we are going to have to find someone else to steal candy from! –  A Rose

 

Halloween

6 – Danielle – There is a story behind Danielle.. She is a close friend of mine’s daughter… a few years ago… We lost her mother… It was heartbreaking. From this came something wondrous and miraculous into my life however… This stunningly brilliant young woman… she is amazing… my children worship the ground she walks upon… and we would gladly just keep her forever… She has this awesome throaty laugh that reminds my of her beautiful mothers laugh… and I cannot imagine our lives without her in it… She is the s’more master… the butt toucher… the ceiling walker… and the best kind of big sister  figure on the planet for my smalls… She will always always have a home to come too and a family who loves her…. (honorable mention to her brother who I love and have great hopes for)-A Rose.

Danielle

7- Enough with all the estrogen! Lets give some Testosterone some attention – My Christian! This guy has been my friend for 18 years now… I have watched him grow up… and he has watched me mature (see how delicately I handled the age difference?) He is my hot cuban mess… and he is the greatest thing since sliced bread… I love him so much… he is so well spoken.. he passion for history is contagious… his love for family is admirable… I have told him things I could never tell another soul on the planet and knew he would tell me how stupid I was when I needed him to… he would also tell me how loved I was when I needed him to… I love to discuss philosophy and politics with him… and I love that no matter how much time passes… when we hit rock bottom… repeatedly… respectively… we will always have a friend within each other to lean on and shoulder to cry on. I am a better person because of him. – A Rose

Christian

8- This Guy… If you know me… you know why – Zip the Wonder Dog – A Rose to you my buddy… you did it! I remember pleading with you when you were hit by the car to just live long enough to get him through the divorce… then again when he lost his dad … to stick around long enough to get him by… he couldn’t lose so much at once.. but you just keep ticking… Please… just get him through High School… You are the most constant thing in his life and we love you. (Honorable mention to the cat…  Shadow Cat… I remember the day I brought you home to my very scared and sad little family… you were enough of a distraction to get through the first days of some very hard realities… and for that I am grateful… You tolerate us.)

 

ZipZipShadow

9 – Now,.. The Prompt did mention items… and I cannot forget this little beauty I am typing this away on…My cute little purple coated macbook air. I am sorry I neglect you… I am sorry I never update you… I let your battery die… you collect dust. You are the tool of my creativity and I have slept snuggled up to you more often that I care to admit…. A Rose.

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10 – Myself… I am taking the easy way out… I have the most amazing list of people I should have included… I have nieces and nephews who I adore… such an awesome list quirky  life long friends… Family… But the truth is there was a time in my life I didn’t have any of you… and Depression worked rather determinedly to keep it that way… But this awesome woman never gave up… she never forgot that depression was lying to her… she worked her ass off… as a parent.. as an employee… as an artist… as an individual with a different way of seeing and doing things… and I would very much like to apologize to her for the abuse she has endured at my own hand… from my own stupid decisions.. and I would like to thank her for hanging in there… despite it all … and being such a bad ass. I’m funny… Smart… and my cleverness is overflowing. I kinda like me. Thanks to everyone who loved me enough for both of us on the days I cant love myself. – A Rose

Kerry

A soul set fire

The Year Twenty Fifteen started like this…. 2015 <– this is a link… it will open in a separate window should you care to read it or here it is paraphrased… I would call that a resolution… a resolution to write more.

I did some serious soul searching in 2015… I took that resolution seriously…I have a story inside of me and I am going to write it.

I QUIT MY JOB of 15 years…. I did that thing! So that I could find balance… so that I could write.

Mr Amazing supported me through it… My Small (who is not so small) encouraged me… asked me how it was coming… Had I written or blogged?

You know… Life is full of ironies… Just as I had cleared the path for myself to really dig in and be who I always wanted to be…. to write:

I painted instead…

I travelled to San Diego… and San Francisco

I caught up with friends

I caught up with my smalls

I cooked… I did really

I colored in those trending Zentangle coloring books… a lot

The Force is Strong with this one

The Force is Strong with this one

and yet… once again… I have this darling husband that has renewed my blog/domain… so that it is here… when I am in the mood.

So as I enter 2016 with my life going completely different than I had planned it… working in an office only enough to get by…  leaving myself plenty of creative time… I can’t help but marvel at the things I have done… even if they are not what I set out to do.

I am in awe of the happiness I have found.

I am excited for the adventures that will come next… I am feeling quite recharged… Unlike my laptop… who had collected some dust and was dead when this morning I decided I should capture the silence of an empty house (Before the not so small wakes up, sleeping in enjoying his winter break… and before my step small arrives in all her glory… loud loud glory… constantly singing taylor swift at the top of her lungs… cackling like a witch from The Haunting Hour…. and achieving every ballet pose ever learned at an alarming rate of speed… from her other home) WANT TO SEE OUR FAMILY PHOTOS?!?! BAHAHAHA!

Sad little neglected cute purple laptop

Sad little neglected cute purple laptop

And so… My Resolutions for 2016 are not to lose ten pounds (Although it should be)… Or to eat only organic (although that too would be good)… or to drink less (I dont think I could possibly drink any less… ha ha I am not really a drinker)…  it is simply this….

be-fearless-in-the-pursuit-of-what-sets-your-soul-on-fire

A Giant Shout Out to MamaKats! Without her prompts I am not sure I would remember to write at all…… I chose the fifth prompt this week “Look back at the resolution you made last year at this time, how did you do?” Go grab a prompt of your own… and do all the things!

mama kats

The End of 2015

Hey… oh hey there… I havent been here a lot lately… I have been out doing anything other than what I set out to do this year… and I am loving the shit out of it!

Have a wordless wednesday post worthy of my attitude

We did our first ever family photos last month… Here you go :)

Family Funny Faces Cropped

ha ha! okay… really… we are fucking adorable… right?

Here we are ... Myself.. the middle aged chick in black... Mr Amazing right there next to me in the beard... Tall Child - birther of the tinys... Small child (not so small) and smallest child :)

Here we are … Myself.. the middle aged chick in black… Mr Amazing right there next to me in the beard.Tall Child – birther of the tinys.Small child (not so small) and smallest child :)

Who are the Tinys you ask? oh you didn’t? well… Im gonna show them off anyways (My Three Grandsons)

Oh My Gosh!

I am still here… just not right here.

Ive been all over actually… I posted that I was sick as an explanation for my lack of posts… and I packed up all my prescriptions like a dying person and flew to the bay…. It was awesome… I would site see in the mornings… sleep and be ill in the afternoons…. and be rested up again to go out to dinner with Mr. Amazing as he finished his day at the conference he was attending…. It was my first trip away from the smalls… that was not a working trip myself… and even though I was sick… I didn’t stay put… I drove through tunnels and over bridges and had a fantastic time…

Bridge Trolley Tea

Upon returning home I decided… impromptu…  to do some family photos! Here is my favorite…. Tall Child… Small Child… Smallest Child… Tiny Children 1 2 and 3

AllTheKiddos I am pretty sure they could not be any cuter.

And I finished my Christmas Painting Project!

I wanted to replace all the artwork in my living room with Christmas Artwork… I couldn’t afford to go out purchasing new artwork… So I PAINTED THEM!

Cause… well… I fucking rock

IMG_2561Holiday

And that my friends… is why I am not blogging…. But I did get the text from Mr.Amazing that he once again renewed my beautiful domain this last week… and well… seeing as how I lived through the round of antibiotics… I suppose I will need to come up with something to write about again.

 

 

I’m just gonna leave this right here… okay now… bubye.

Write about a time you thought there was a ghost.

Write about a time you thought there was a ghost.

I am not going to start a debate on whether or not ghosts are real… or the supernatural… or anything of the sort…because honestly I just don’t care…  I am just going to state one fact… you cannot live with me for long and deny that there is something besides us here… call that something what you will… but you can’t deny its existence…

This fact was challenged upon entering my marriage for Mr. Amazing… I think he thought it was cute that I was so eccentric…. But much like with everyone else… It just was not worth the discussion… because a ghost doesn’t pay the bills… or do the laundry… cook dinner… bring about world peace…so really… what good is it.

This is one story of many… but it is my favorite because it scared the Bejeezus out of my Sexy Husband… Here is what happened:

Its been about 2 years now… It started slow… Doors opening and closing… Wiring seeming to be going out as lights flickered in the hall and bathroom… Harmless things… super easy to explain away…. So what are two grown adults going to do? Try to explain it away… HA!

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This is the light that would randomly turn off when someone was in there… it had to be wiring because it isnt like the light switch moved… the light just quit working…. but the wiring magically got fixed all by itself now.

We adjusted the thermostat… we ran a hot shower trying to make the door swell… we tried numerous things to try and recreate what was happening… because I am supportive of my cute husband and his insistence science can explain it.  I like science! But our attempts were in vain… and the door opening and closing continued…

I think my favorite night was when we were in bed… our door flew open… we blamed it on the wind… and closed it again… only to have it open again once we were back under the covers.

This carried on for several weeks… it was a symphony of doors… down this hallway

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Our bedroom is at the end of the hall… The first door on your right is Little Miss Smalls door…it was the most active participant. But  only when she was not home.

Now cue the baby crying… WHAT? We don’t have a baby! … Thats right folks… in the middle of the night we would hear a baby crying… we would hear it in different places… For Example.. we would both be in bed… we would both hear the crying… but I would swear it was outside the window.. he would swear it was on the other end of the house…. and WOOSH! the door (that was already closed) would slam.

Then the footsteps started… and that was the end of it for Mr. Amazing… We had been living this way for about 5 months at this point… He could not deny it any longer… and he wanted it gone!

Which was sad kind of… because it really was such a sweet little thing…

“Don’t you know other weirdos that can do something about this??” he asked in desperation (Door Slam at 2 am WHAM!)

“Ironically… I do”

and I did… and I did what my dear friend suggested… with a little help from my not so small… and other than a peek a boo once and again from our invisible friend… things have been quiet.

“Let’s never speak of this again” – Mr Amazing

Well… it just made the blog!

Bahahahaha!

 

Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice…

Coffee Talk! Share your first pumpkin spice latte of the season with us.

Coffee Talk! Share your first pumpkin spice latte of the season with us.

Sound Track for this post… as they sometimes have… just go ahead and click play and keep reading…

Sunday afternoon… No Smalls!

Just Mr Amazing and I driving up the winding canyon road… talking about everything that is important in our lives right now… about getting older… and how priorities change… and perspective… He is turning 40 in just a few days… it is very daunting to him… I cannot help but laugh because I remember just two years ago being in the same spot… I remember being so afraid of it…but it came anyways… and something magical happened… I changed… much like the seasons… much the like the colors starting to touch these leaves we were making the journey to see their change…. their change is beautiful

Alpine Mountains

Alpine Mountains

And so are the changes we go through in life… I remember thinking how it was a measure of who I was… what I had accomplished at 40… which was not what I had wanted… not what I had imagined… and not nearly good enough.

But then the day after 40 came… and then another… and then another… and it didnt matter anymore… infact… most of my preconceived notions about life… who I was and how it should be did not matter any more… Some kind of dark magic happened. I quit worrying about it.

Alpine Mountains

Alpine Mountains

And I listened to him worry that he had not done enough… and he didnt know what he was going to do… and I smiled at him… fondly… because I am so full of the fondness for this man… and I told him to just wait…

We are not what we do… we are not where we have been… where we are going… what we have accomplished… None of those things are who we really are … We are what is inside of us… and something about 40 makes what is inside of us scream to be heard finally… to be paid attention too… to be expressed!

He shook his head and laughed his “if you say so” laugh… and I told him how sexy he is… as we do.

We stopped at some dirty gas station for cokes… when I spotted it… that old school… probably full of bacteria… one button wonder…. Pumpkin Spice Machine… and I drank that shit.

Because Life is not as short as we think it is… and fall brings out the best in all of us.

Dear Son…

It’s so fucking hard to believe you’re turning 16 today.

Apparently… when I blinked, your little blond mancub self… who used to spend hours catching grasshoppers and swimming and music has grown into a tall…kind.. thoughtful…  smart teenager who loves games and girls…

I know this journey hasn’t been easy.

I know your dad and I (especially I!) have made mistakes… but we have done our best… I promise to continue to do so.

It’s not easy figuring out what should be said and done and those words that should remain unsaid and the actions that should remain undone.

Because sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to stay back and let the lesson teach itself… I am so sorry about your dad not being here.

There have been a couple of close calls–a few times I felt my heart in my throat.

When you chased your sister and her friends around the block… with myself and some neighbor lady trying to catch you… when you got past the dead bolt for the first time… when the lump formed on your neck… and later when they wheeled you away to surgery to remove it….when you broke your leg… when the scuba gear sank you like a lead weight…. when your dad died…

Sometimes, it’s hard to tell you what I want you to know. Many times… we don’t see eye-to-eye. Sometimes…  I don’t do well when I’m put on the spot. Sometimes (most times),  I do better in writing. So here goes.

I know you think you have it figured out. Life, I mean.

And in many ways, you do. You get good grades, you get along with your peers, you love music and your viola,. You feel things deeply… and injustice bothers you.

These are all attributes that make me proud of you.

Please–never fail to listen when somebody older and wiser tries to give you advice… Let the BFG offer to help with math…  You don’t always have to take it (many times you shouldn’t!), but listen to those who care enough to try to help.

In just a few years, you’ll be going off to college– Now you are driving without me… making decisions on your own.

I’m not worried about that. Well shit…  I do worry a little, but I think you’ll be fine.

Your moral standards will hold. I know it may sound cliché but I’m going to say it anyway…  follow your heart. Follow your conscience. It’s kept you kind and compassionate.

One thing I do worry about: I want you to make time for friends. I know you are introverted and it’s easier to stay by yourself … but you have so much to offer others: your sense of humor…  your knowledge of current events… your integrity…  your wit. You’re so funny!

Please, don’t sell yourself short. Shoot for the stars! Set high goals. It’s okay to not always succeed — sometimes falling is part of the process. Don’t let yourself get discouraged. Sometimes, you’ll get told “No.” Even though it stings, it’s not the end of the world. If it’s important to you, keep trying…don’t let one person (or opportunity) hold you back. Never let YOU be the one to hold yourself back.

When you do win…know you deserved it. Nobody can say you didn’t.

I’m your mom, and I love you more than I can say… more than there are words to write…and I can’t wait to see how you’re going to shake up this world of ours.

It’s going to be beautiful.

You are My Sunshine...

You are My Sunshine…

 

 

Dear Nine Year Old…

It is no secret that Second marriages don’t always have the perfect start. It is hard to find happiness and love in a relationship which lacks foundation… By foundation I mean a childless time…. we started this journey as a family… and now you are nine…

Separation and divorce can sometimes make it difficult for some kids to get along with their step parent… . But life always presents opportunities to build bridges …   please don’t assume that I will never understand your emotions… and you should know your continued maturity does continue to amaze me and I can only hope my words and presence will have a strong impact on your perception about what and who you are as a person.

My biggest hope for us is that I can show you that It takes time to build relationships…  Be patient and selfless – and if you wait for it… one day you will realize how much love you have in store for your life… how much you are loved… and so to celebrate your 9th year my stunningly beautiful step daughter… 9 cheesy reasons I hope you have the best birthday ever

1)  A daughter who is a best friend in disguise – my dear you are my life’s biggest prize. Happy Birthday Banana Pants.

2)  You could have been a force that caused fights between me and your father but instead…  you became the glue that held us together… thank you for making the family stronger.. Happy Birthday Sweetheart

3) Stepmothers have to put in effort to find reasons and ways to love their stepdaughters… but you have made me a natural pro at my job. Happy Birthday Cuteness.

4) Fairy tales have always portrayed stepmothers as wicked…But for me, the only time I’m get wicked is when someone else tries to be wicked with you. Happy birthday Babygirl.

5) Our relationship is like clay… it can change its form according to circumstances but it will always make us stick together. Happy Birthday Angel Girl…

6) The best stepdaughters in the world are not the ones who accept their fathers’ new wives… but the ones who welcome them as new best friends in their lives. Happy Birthday Miss Bee.

7) You range from curious to anxious… nervous to afraid… worried to petrified –  all wrapped up in one tricky little girl… we all stepped into this  new family, and the adventure started… we have had so much fun. Happy Birthday. Pretty Facey

8) You could have resented my presence in your father’s life… but you cherished it. You could have hated my involvement in your own life… but you valued it… You could have detested my addition in your family… and your step brothers… but you welcomed it. Thanks, Happy Birthday Lil Miss Thang

9) If fights and distance make loved ones eventually come closer… let’s continue to fight… Someday it will make us the closest stepmom-stepdaughter in the world. Happy Birthday… Way To Go Buffalo.

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday!!