Inadvertently capturing my step small and myself… while capturing my curious cat. Also- I need to clean my mirror.
The prompt was compile a list of best posts and photos from the last year… So instead I compiled a list of posts about my favorite pictures! Check them out!
12 Reasons I Love My Life
January 2014 – From the Front Porch
February 2014 – Sometimes being me is pretty damn cool
March 2014 – I found the Tardis!
April 2014 – Holi Festival of Colors
May 2014 – and once again… Painted Angels
June 2014 – This Day
July 2014 – Wishing for a more relaxing time
August 2014 – I raised these...
September 2014 - Star Lord… Maybe you’ve heard of me
October 2014 – The Toy Room Collection
November 2014 – Short People Got No Reason!
December 2014 – His first date
Well… The New Year brought me something a little unexpected… unexpected because I forgot about it… It brought me a several hundred dollar charge to my bank account… One not budgeted and one I am going to have to tighten the belt on our budget to cover… for something that I seemed to have lost my passion for… for something that had become an after thought… it started to feel like a task… and nobody cared if I did it or not… and I discovered other ways to keep my head from imploding with all the words I pour out here… Yes… Here… Smiffbib.com… My Domain renewed for another 3 years automatically… 3 Years! Can you believe it? I have been writing here for 3 years… I sat and thought for a few moments about what I had accomplished here… and the resounding answer was… NOT A DAMN THING!… and I chuckled to myself because… well… what did I ever hope to accomplish here… this blog is like that seinfeld comedy show… it is about nothing… and I never hoped to accomplish anything more than that… Well… That much was a success…. What has the last 3 years brought me… My new husband (Mr. Amazing) bought me Smiffbib as a gift… we have been through some of the most amazing adventures… trials… illnesses… deaths… all of those thoughts and been poured out into here… hidden in the craziest stories… silly pictures… one self discovery after another… all of the smalls milestones … every fear… every dark corner of depression… every broken thought… Pictures of Disneyland… screams of frustration at the tea party passing bills about my vagina… buried my first grandchild… my exhusband/sons father… and others so close to me…
One day I am going to write something so life changing that people will quote me… they will say Smiffbib and people will know what that means… Or not.
Last year at this time I thought I would be somewhere completely different than I am now… and that was my resolution.
Did you know how far you can come inside yourself without any external changes? Did you know how much you could be okay inside yourself no matter what kind of chaos is carrying on around you?
I have no idea what this new year will bring… none… I have no idea where I will be the next time this domain is up for renewal… I hope I have as much to say about them as I have this last three… Mr. Amazing just called me from the office.. He transferred the money into my bank account… he told me to stop worrying… I could keep Smiffbib… so I suppose I will have somewhere to record them all…
Soooo… I guess it is time to get out of this bed… and begin the new year.
Shout out to my favorite writing group of all time… and Kats prompt for getting me all resolutiony today… I have written 464 posts… here is to another couple hundred more.
My Darling Co-Worker and a late night Costco Shopping Trip…. ‘Nuff Said!
List your top 5 embarrassing moments
Ha ha… well I have been in a bit of a self loathing mode lately… public humiliation seems to be a great way to round that off… I am a blogger because I have an endless supplies of stories to tell… and below is some of my best material that I have yet to turn into posts… one day I will do each of these things justice… these are probably not the most embarrassing… they are just what came to mind first… and they are not in any kind of chronological order… and are not ordered by the amount of embarrassment experienced… they are simply spilt out into the keyboard to make us all feel better about ourselves today… No matter where I am today… I am not in any of the places below… and for that I am grateful
1- Making Amends with the Barricade
I have shared the story about the time I almost blew up the kitchen… and that I didn’t understand how a vacuum worked… I dont often talk about what happened to get me in that halfway house… and I still wont… but I will say that something I decided to do whilst living there was make amends for some horrible things I had done… and I made some phone calls and I wrote some letters… and I took responsibility for my part of things… and I let go of things that weren’t mine… Oddly… one said thing was a barricade… you know the kind… Orange and white striped… flashing round light on top… I found the owner of Greenes construction company and returned the apartment decor I had been hauling around for about a year… Yeah.. That happened
2- “It gives me hope… and you cant put a price on hope”
28 years old… haven just given birth to my son… I lost 100 pounds.. ironically I had more to lose… and did not… also I gained about half of that back… but not before I starred in a weight loss commercial that aired on latenight TV for years for the supplement I used to help me… I would show it here… but I torched every copy of it in existence… Ever wonder about those ladies on the commercials? That happened.
3- Only 1 OSHA recordable that year…
I was on the safety committee for the company I worked for at the time… I flew to chicago for two weeks for training… at which point I was informed we had only one osha recordable that year… Some girl in Salt Lake City had fallen down a man hole…. unbeknownst to the trainer.. I was that girl… unfortunately… it was not unbeknownst to my colleagues… totally happened.
4- Ohhh There he is! do you want a mirror so you can see his head?
“IF YOU CAN SEE HIS HEAD… THEN YOU CAN GET HIM OUT OF ME… PULL HIM OUT!”
I could not make this shit up.
5 – Let’s do the timewarp again
During my divorce… I struggled alot… sometimes I drank those struggles away… One time I drank them and rallied my entire mormon neighborhood at 4 am to do the TimeWarp on my front lawn….
Some other time remind me to tell you the story about the time I camped out on Robert Englund’s lawn until he asked me to leave… I have a thing for Freddy…
Comic Con was panic inducing… There were so many people there you couldn’t move… couldn’t breathe…. I hid against the back of the convention center most of the time… but these pics look like we had a grand time! So let us go with that!
I purchased it because my porch has a flag holder…. and well… that meant I needed a flag…. my cute nieces found it in the closet this weekend and asked why I had it and I told them when I was feeling adventurous… I post it outside…. so OFCOURSE we had to fly it immediately.
I posted about Robin Williams (Who played Peter Pan in Hook) Monday… and I have been reading so much of the conversations his death has given life too… The most common theme is that he felt alone… or that he was selfish… or any other number of misconceptions about suicide…. A good friend posted this on Facebook last night and it made everything come into perspective for me on the topic… I hope someone reads this and it helps
When it comes to suicide the late David Foster Wallace said it so exquisitely and prophetically…“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.”
It has been over a month since I posted about being sick… I didn’t have much energy to post about it… and I didn’t know what it was… only that it wasn’t going away. What I thought was a kidney infection I was told was not… so they did a CT scan looking for stones to explain the fevers and blood in my urine… They did not find stones but found Diverticulitis… which was odd… and I had not a single symptom of it that I should have…. 4 rounds of antibiotics that made me feel worse than the original complaint later… the fevers still did not stop… This called for another CT scan in which they found a clot in my spleen (infarction is the word… but its ugly… so I still say clot) … 1 colonoscopy later (in which they were able to see the diverticulitis was gone and did not appear to be cancer) I was sent to an infectious disease specialist… I tested positive for CMV… which is not super normal for someone like me with a normal immune (not recieveing cancer treatments not HIV positive) system to have issues with it… but I am not normal… we know this.. and the symptoms and diagnosis stuck.. and I appear to finally be on the mend… which leads me back to some normalcy in my life… hence the really boring blog update prior to my usual nothing I post about… so now you know… there you go
On a lighter note… earlier this year I wrote about a vacation I desperately wanted and I am happy to announce THIS is happening in ten days!
Carry on… let the chaos continue…
Something your family did to celebrate Father’s Day.
We looked at dead animals… Normally this isn’t something I would blog about… and I would not normally blog about what we did on Fathers Day either… separately they are a little too educational and unimpressive for a blog post…. but when combined… I suppose I feel like it is just freaky enough to qualify for a post… So here it is!
Before you believe I am lacking in the tact department… or better yet… Completely heartless….
It was super educational and fascinating… and a day at the museum on a Sunday is somewhat our “thing”
Some parts of the exhibit might have been a bit creepy for us… this exhibit was bound to start some interesting… thought-provoking conversations with our kids. The human skeleton… with all its attachments… well… attached… it was a man… elicited some laughter from small child… Smallest child just kept asking to see the butts…. Otherwise… no nightmares were reported… (I copied the following paragraph of info from the Leonardo’s website… hence the big words and lack of ellipses)
The animals on display have been preserved via plastination, a process which replaces fluids with plastics. The plastination process is also able to “peel back” layers of the featured animals, revealing intricate blood vessel, muscle and digestive systems, giving viewers a unique view into the spectacular biological systems that rule nature. You’ll have the chance to sneak inside a rabbit’s brain and catch a shark frozen in action. (All of the animals featured died of natural causes – so no animals were harmed as this exhibit was created.)
This chic wasn’t on display… or this blog post would have read entirely different… and probably have been more entertaining.