No Loitering…

Image from WikiCommons, taken by Elia Biraschi and used under the Creative Commons Agreement

Image from WikiCommons, taken by Elia Biraschi and used under the Creative Commons Agreement

I cannot walk through the suburbs in the solitude of the night without thinking that the night pleases us because it suppresses idle details, just as our memory does. ~Jorge Luis Borges

After finding refuge under a tree… though it’s roots make my lawned mattress a lumpy bed… where I slept away the daylight hours… with one eye open… and my wrist twists through the handles of my satchel to avoid it being lifted… to the sound of someones small children playing on the playground littered with broken glass and sharps of all variety… Knowing that people stared… pitied… loathed me… crossed the way to avoid me… patrol cars counting the hours before they can tell me to move… I did move finally.

I pass the homes… still some windows lit even at this late hour… my mouth is dry… I have no water… my stomach is angry that I have no food… my skin crusted with a salty layer of dried perspiration… the summer heat is not too far off… but here in the night it has not found me yet… Soon it will hunt me and haunt me even in the night… though I just barely have recovered from the last attack… a bitter winter war hunt that many of my tribe elders did not survive…

My shoes are so thin that I feel each crevice in the walk way… each piece of gravel beneath the parchment thin sole between my foot and the road.

My legs ache and knees stiffen giving my walk a quirky swing that will soon cause my hips and lower back to beg me to rest…

There is no rest for me… No where to sit… So I continue to shuffle along both longing and fearing the suns return

At every bench… and every bowery… there is the mark against me… the unwelcome sign.

“No Loitering”

and so I walk.

This is a work of fiction.

I see this each night in my city.

Do not cross the street from them.

Do not lend to their belief that they do not matter.

They are not invisible.

Every Life Matters.

 

Brought to you by…

The Light and Shade Challenge

The Light and Shade Challenge

Husbands.

This guy right here…

20150215_133832  20150215_133759 20150215_133611.

An ode to my Husband…
There are many reasons why I love you…  too many to share…
It’s not just for your handsome face… or sexy… floppy hair
It’s in the we found ourselves from what started as a sordid fling
and the way you make up the words when you’ve forgotten what to sing.
It’s how you tuck me in at night hoping that I will sleep
How you listen to my troubles… and are afraid of water too deep
It’s for your big broad shoulders and strong arms that hold me tight
It’s how you make me laugh no matter what… every single night
It’s the way you’re eyes disappear every time you smile
For all the fun and silliness that makes our lives worthwhile
It’s the way you love our children, and amuse them for hours
Playing knights and spies and dolls and building all the towers
The way in which you look at us with love… you love us to extremes
But most of all it’s for being you…the man of my dreams

 

So here is the thing… I know more people would read this if I talked about how he leaves paper towels everywhere… They would probably share it if I wrote cleverly about his bodily functions and when forgets the dishes he leaves soaking … but the truth is even though I laugh when I read other wives accounts of their husbands habits… I know I could never write a satirical post about him… He gets enough of it from TV… and other woman. I just love him.

Inspired by MamaKats World Famous Writing Prompts….

“Husbands. A post that hopefully will not get you in trouble.”

                                                            mama kats

Angel Fall… and now I can’t sleep.

 

Soooo let me just insert an excerpt of what I tried to fall asleep too last night….

The streets have turned desolate and empty of people. We are out of the aerie district and in the demolished zone. Miles of burnt-out car husks and wrecked buildings flow by. The wind whips my hair around my face as we drive through the charred and broken skeleton of our world.

That was the happy ending I stayed up late to try to get too…. anything to erase the fear building up inside of me during the climax of the story…

But I am getting too far ahead of myself…. Let’s go back…

I am ALWAYS on the look out for my next book… I’ve read everything… every genre… (Other than that 50 shades stuff… don’t get me started on that again… but you can always read my thoughts on it here.)

But lately… much like the rest of the world … the world according to Amazon Kindle anyways… I have been reading a lot of pre & post  Apocalyptic crap lately… This of course was started by the Hunger Games series that rocked all of our socks….

I’ve read all the vampire series… even really horrible ones…. supernatural this and that… crossed… matched… reached…. the uglies… the pretties…  all of the Giver books… the list is endless… I of course take some breaks in this to keep my mind from melting into a pile of goo and read something with more… oomph? such as 12 years a slave… the invention of wings… brain on fire was a super intense read…. okay… I digress… regardless of how it came about I purchased and began to read Angel Fall by Susan Ee… Sunday morning before the Super Bowl… I finished it last night… and let me just tell you… from the chick that laughs her way through horror flicks with a glass of wine… this was bone chilling and terrifying…

I LOVED IT!

Here is a brief synopsis

It’s been six weeks since angels of the apocalypse descended to demolish the modern world. Street gangs rule the day while fear and superstition rule the night. When warrior angels fly away with a helpless little girl, her seventeen-year-old sister Penryn will do anything to get her back. Raffe is a warrior who lies broken and wingless on the street. After eons of fighting his own battles, he finds himself being rescued from a desperate situation by a half-starved teenage girl.

Sounds cheesy right? I thought so too… but I ventured forth anyways… with in the first chapter I am lost in the book…

and as I devoured the book… which was unlike anything I have read before… regardless of the familiar feeling synopsis… I several times stopped and googled the author trying to find out what kind of woman comes up with this stuff…. It was amazing…

terrifying…. gruesome…Not “Saw 1-million (or however many they made)” gruesome… (I laughed through those as well) but truly horrifying…

the story line is awesome

the characters are so unique…

I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone under the age of 16… but I am a prude when it comes to that… If they have played COD or WOW… this will be G-rated in comparison…

Soooo in a horribly all over the place book review… with really no focus thanks to the lack of sleep for fear of the swirling angel vortex… you have my 5 star recommendation… READ IT! .. DISCUSS below!

Brought to you by Mama Kats awesome prompt for a BOOK REVIEW!!

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How would you describe the color purple to a blind person…

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Abell_665_(Chandra).jpg

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Abell_665_(Chandra).jpg

Red is hot and spicy, like standing too close to the fire. Orange is warm and smooth, a velvet curtain heated by the sun. Yellow is buttery and rich, like sunshine on your face. Green is earthy and comforting, the smell of fresh pine needles. Blue is cool and crisp, like dipping your foot in a lake in October. Purple is dark and rich, a baritone sax bellowing jazz. Brown is healing and ancient, the smell of earth on the forest floor. source here.

Purple smells like grape in my mind… Purple is not warm… it is not cold… it is cooling and sedate.

it has as many variations and mediums as the human mind…

violet, mauve, indigo, periwinkle, lavender, lilac and plum are all married to it.

When surrounded by darkness  it absorbs the black… keeping part of it for itself… as it if it has something to learn from it before graduating to the light for the most vibrant color of an orchid…  The difference between cold and hot… the many flavors between sour and sweet can all be found in purple.

The “Purple Heart” is the American award for bravery. Purple is often associated with royalty… or spirituality…

It is no wonder that the universe is painted with it.

This beautiful image of that prompted me to wonder how I would describe it if I couldnt see it was nicked from the amazing Light and Shade Challenge!

The Light and Shade Challenge

The Light and Shade Challenge

 

Beauty is only skin deep… choose to be bone deep

The Light and Shade Challenge

The Light and Shade Challenge

You can be bad to the bone… you can be blonde to the bone… you can feel the cold in your bones…

We are often defined by the character of our “bone” … there is a back bone… a funny bone… don’t forget the hopeful wishbone.

If you are skinny… you are skin and bone… if you are larger… you are big boned

people speak of a cruel bone… but I don’t know if it exists as when referenced it is usually as not having one in their body. No one ever says they are full of them.

If you give a dog a bone… you are leading him on… but if you throw a dog a bone… it is charitable.

When you are tired… and can not fathom lifting your head to face what is in front of you… you are weary to the bone.

You can love every bone in someones body… its a sign of affection.

When you are critical… of those you love… it cuts to the bone.

Make no bones about it… Who you are Bone Deep is what matters… Skin Deep and Thin skinned are no competition.

mage courtesy of Wiki Commons taken by Nevit Dilmen and used under the Creative Commons Agreement

Image courtesy of Wiki Commons taken by Nevit Dilmen and used under the Creative Commons Agreement

Light, Shade and the Ballerina.

 

 

lightandshade logo This is a prompt from the amazing Light and Shade Challenge… I was so moved by their prompt… The music (used as the prompt for my 100 word fictonal piece) can be found HERE

 

And so it begins… The house light went down and I was overcome with emotion. We held our breaths. Tchaikovsky started to swell from the orchestra pit and my heart began to swell with pride, as my eyes swelled with tears. It was the first moment our little girl became a real Ballerina. So, there I sat with a giant lump in my throat until I caught sight of her in a blur of tulle and glitter… Every Plié, Leap, Pirouette showed focus and enjoyment on her face. We met her back stage with roses and then I walked that graceful beauty out into the falling snow.

Ballerina

10 years is a decade!

Damn… first off… let me say… I’m looking mighty fine today…. no really… it’s just a good hair day and that is why I chose this prompt! “Find a photo of yourself taken 10 years ago and display it on your blog along with a current photo. How have you changed since the day that photo was taken?

mama kats

I remember that day 10 years ago pictured below… on the beach… helping small child fly a kite for the first time… he was so small… and I just wanted to do whatever I could to help him feel like he could do anything, accomplish anything, be anything he wanted… here I am 10 years later… he is a pimply 15.5 year old… I am spending my day sitting outside of the Neurological Learning and Behavior Center while he goes through 5 hours of IQ and Learning testing… because not that much has changed in 10 year… I am still determined to do whatever it takes to let him know there is not a single thing he can not do… You see… my small (or not so small) is not an A student… never has been…. he is a C and D student… and he has had to work as hard for those C’s as so many kids do for an A… High School is burying him alive… and he is just a drop in the ocean of kids there… no one is helping… so we are going to get that help here… He is SO SMART and BRIGHT… he just learns differently than the school district is teaching him… and I will get this kiddo to college… if he wants it… even if it kills me… So in regards to that nothing has changed in the last ten years… other than my hair got FABULOUS! In 3 weeks this center will provide me a road map to help with his educational future and we will know the right steps to take to reach his goals and dreams… whatever they may be… currently it is to be an element bender… or spiderman….  Im not sure they have a class for that shit. Looking down at that picture besides the obvious observation I also have great skin now… I see a good Mom… a mom sitting out here in the waiting area blogging her anxiety away… taking selfies like a teenager just for you! Seriously- 10 years-

A Year in Review….

mama kats

The prompt was compile a list of best posts and photos from the last year… So instead I compiled a list of posts about my favorite pictures! Check them out!

12 Reasons I Love My Life

January 2014 – From the Front Porch

February 2014 – Sometimes being me is pretty damn cool

March 2014 – I found the Tardis!

April 2014 – Holi Festival of Colors

May 2014 – and once again… Painted Angels

June 2014 – This Day

July 2014 – Wishing for a more relaxing time

August 2014 – I raised these...

September 2014 - Star Lord… Maybe you’ve heard of me

October 2014 – The Toy Room Collection

November 2014 – Short People Got No Reason!

December 2014 – His first date

2015

Well… The New Year brought me something a little unexpected… unexpected because I forgot about it… It brought me a several hundred dollar charge to my bank account… One not budgeted and one I am going to have to tighten the belt on our budget to cover… for something that I seemed to have lost my passion for… for something that had become an after thought… it started to feel like a task… and nobody cared if I did it or not… and I discovered other ways to keep my head from imploding with all the words I pour out here… Yes… Here… Smiffbib.com… My Domain renewed for another 3 years automatically… 3 Years! Can you believe it? I have been writing here for 3 years… I sat and thought for a few moments about what I had accomplished here… and the resounding answer was… NOT A DAMN THING!… and I chuckled to myself because… well… what did I ever hope to accomplish here… this blog is like that seinfeld comedy show… it is about nothing… and I never hoped to accomplish anything more than that… Well… That much was a success…. What has the last 3 years brought me… My new husband (Mr. Amazing) bought me Smiffbib as a gift… we have been through some of the most amazing adventures… trials… illnesses… deaths… all of those thoughts and been poured out into here… hidden in the craziest stories… silly pictures… one self discovery after another… all of the smalls milestones … every fear… every dark corner of depression… every broken thought… Pictures of Disneyland… screams of frustration at the tea party passing bills about my vagina… buried my first grandchild… my exhusband/sons father… and others so close to me…

One day I am going to write something so life changing that people will quote me… they will say Smiffbib and people will know what that means… Or not.

Last year at this time I thought I would be somewhere completely different than I am now… and that was my resolution.

Did you know how far you can come inside yourself without any external changes? Did you know how much you could be okay inside yourself no matter what kind of chaos is carrying on around you?

I have no idea what this new year will bring… none… I have no idea where I will be the next time this domain is up for renewal… I hope I have as much to say about them as I have this last three… Mr. Amazing just called me from the office.. He transferred the money into my bank account… he told me to stop worrying… I could keep Smiffbib… so I suppose I will have somewhere to record them all…

Soooo... I guess it is time to get out of this bed... and begin the new year.

Soooo… I guess it is time to get out of this bed… and begin the new year.

Shout out to my favorite writing group of all time… and Kats prompt for getting me all resolutiony today… I have written 464 posts… here is to another couple hundred more.

mama kats

5 Things…

mama kats

Well… Get ready for some gut level honesty… it does not happen often… But this is who I am.

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Betcha didn’t know…

I can’t play… Really… I can’t do it much to the dismay of all the smalls in my life… I can’t pretend… can’t walk that little doll along the table and talk for her… or pretend to have her fly through the air… no ponies, no action figures (I can FIGHT however… gimme a good action figure to wack you with and it is on).

I’m also a zombie fanatic… Seriously, ask me something about them…  But I’m sort of picky on what types of zombie stories I like… I prefer the apocalyptic ones… where the undead wins.

I aspire to be a writer when I retire…. I love to write stories and share ideas and thoughts.

My favorite thing in the universe to do is to interact with other people on any topic in the universe at an ungodly inappropriate hour because the conversation is so good. .. But I refuse to go to gatherings.

I am a jack of all trades… master of none… I honestly think I can converse about any topic in the universe fairly well… Dorothy Parker once wrote “the only cure for boredom is curiosity, there is no cure for curiosity” — I am afflicted with it.

Randoms things I know ..

Charles Manson… Ironically he is trending this week… suddenly I have people to talk with about this.

Religion … Mormonism… Catholicism… Mysticism… I love the subject and read up on all spiritual traditions… Partake in none of them.

The Hypothalamus – The Hormone Station…

&

The Hippocampus – The Memory Station… I majored in early childhood psychology for a period…

World affairs… I don’t often blog about them… but I am not one of those people that believe what FOX news (or any of the others media outlets really) I do my homework… I research… I support causes I believe in… I was there the first night Occupy camped out.

Things I don’t know

Sewing… or any kind of needle work at all… I think I am allergic to it

Cooking… I break out in hives

US History… For someone who cares so much about what is going on today… yeah… I got nothing.

Car Maintenance… Bahahahahaha!

Sports… of any kind.

I believe …

In miracles… I really do… I don’t think some white bearded man touched my life with his almighty finger or anything like that… But I have witnessed truly miraculous things.

In Angels… Yep… again… not winged trumpeting robed beings… but I believe in things that can’t be seen.

In My Children… With all of my heart… even though right now I dont really understand how they are going to pull it off… I think that they will do so fantastically!

In Myself… You see… most days I dont understand how I am going to pull it off… but I keep doing so.

In You… I believe… despite what I read about the world… despite what I see people doing to others… and the earth… that human kind as a whole is mostly good… that we are good… that small acts of kindness save lives… and they happen everyday. I Believe in you enough for both of us on the days that you don’t believe in yourself… so don’t sweat it… I have you covered…

Now… That being said… I wrote a cheeky blog last week… then forgot to link it up to MamaKats… but it was funny… So make sure you go show some love on that sad little creative post that I worked so hard on… cause it needs it!

Ransom Notes & 2 Year Olds