Uprising

AelNight3

I despise the words ‘riot’ and “thug” carelessly thrown into the conversation… They do not understand… They scream their condemnations.

The term “The Final Straw” has never been more literal … and that straw is on fire…

We watch it on the TV… We question who we are… We wonder if the flames will spread… to our own cities so very far…

I am not going to pretend I am someone I am not …and with a heavy heart I look around me…trying to see anything that makes me feel right as I type this from my privileged neighborhood… in my middle class home… on my macbook air…  2 kids… 2 pets…  the news on the big screen…

From this view point I watch as images being filmed in the firelight…show people being ridiculed for stealing their most basic needs.

Fire is vibrant in the dark…

I study the faces of those gathered… Peaceful. Stoic. Calm.

They are not vigilantes… simply vigilant to the cause

They didn’t start the fires… but they feel a deep burning within them….

They do not condone… but they do understand… as they hold their ground on the street

They do not see a riot… but an uprising… and this is the language of The Unheard, The Ignored. The Downtrodden.

and oh I know there are a million different point of views… thousands of opinions… and everyone thinks they are right.

and I apologize if I have offended you or any of them…with these very broken thoughts

But I have to hope that one day the image of the street ablaze will be remembered as the start of how we changed… And that the word ‘thug’ will die out with the flames

and my heart goes out to those Mothers that are praying for their children that are not home tonight…. while mine are tucked into bed safe and …. White.

 

This post was so painful to write as I follow the current events …

I have been paralyzed in my writing for weeks as I am unable to even process thoughts and feelings with all that is going on with our world… I am grateful for the prompt from the Light and Shade challenge for letting me shed a little of the weight…. and I cling to the belief that there is still more good than evil… even if we forget to report on it

The Light and Shade Challenge

The Light and Shade Challenge

No Loitering…

Image from WikiCommons, taken by Elia Biraschi and used under the Creative Commons Agreement

Image from WikiCommons, taken by Elia Biraschi and used under the Creative Commons Agreement

I cannot walk through the suburbs in the solitude of the night without thinking that the night pleases us because it suppresses idle details, just as our memory does. ~Jorge Luis Borges

After finding refuge under a tree… though it’s roots make my lawned mattress a lumpy bed… where I slept away the daylight hours… with one eye open… and my wrist twists through the handles of my satchel to avoid it being lifted… to the sound of someones small children playing on the playground littered with broken glass and sharps of all variety… Knowing that people stared… pitied… loathed me… crossed the way to avoid me… patrol cars counting the hours before they can tell me to move… I did move finally.

I pass the homes… still some windows lit even at this late hour… my mouth is dry… I have no water… my stomach is angry that I have no food… my skin crusted with a salty layer of dried perspiration… the summer heat is not too far off… but here in the night it has not found me yet… Soon it will hunt me and haunt me even in the night… though I just barely have recovered from the last attack… a bitter winter war hunt that many of my tribe elders did not survive…

My shoes are so thin that I feel each crevice in the walk way… each piece of gravel beneath the parchment thin sole between my foot and the road.

My legs ache and knees stiffen giving my walk a quirky swing that will soon cause my hips and lower back to beg me to rest…

There is no rest for me… No where to sit… So I continue to shuffle along both longing and fearing the suns return

At every bench… and every bowery… there is the mark against me… the unwelcome sign.

“No Loitering”

and so I walk.

This is a work of fiction.

I see this each night in my city.

Do not cross the street from them.

Do not lend to their belief that they do not matter.

They are not invisible.

Every Life Matters.

 

Brought to you by…

The Light and Shade Challenge

The Light and Shade Challenge

Boob Pancakes

Yep… I am 41… 1 year late I went in for my first Mammogram this week… A little scary because there is a family history…

but fear is no reason to avoid it… Check your Boobies!

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Maybe I am just weak?

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Mahatma Gandhi

But what if you can’t forgive?

I wanted to kick off this blog by extolling the virtues of forgiveness… I know that forgiveness is the seat of liberation…  However, try as I might, I just can’t muster up the energy to write a big soaring blog on something I’m still having trouble with.

The truth is, sometimes forgiveness feels impossible.  Is there someone in your life that no matter how hard you try, how many books you read, how many lectures or workshops you attend, you still can’t forgive? Are you tough on yourself for that? Me too.

Here’s a baby step: Forgive yourself for not forgiving.

Thanks to the Light and Shade 100 Word Challenge… Great Prompt! Even if I am not great at it!

The Light and Shade Challenge

The Light and Shade Challenge

GERONIMO!

THIS. THIS is just what I need right now…. The perfect song for how I am going to get through what is going on in my life right now!!!

 

Beauty is only skin deep… choose to be bone deep

The Light and Shade Challenge

The Light and Shade Challenge

You can be bad to the bone… you can be blonde to the bone… you can feel the cold in your bones…

We are often defined by the character of our “bone” … there is a back bone… a funny bone… don’t forget the hopeful wishbone.

If you are skinny… you are skin and bone… if you are larger… you are big boned

people speak of a cruel bone… but I don’t know if it exists as when referenced it is usually as not having one in their body. No one ever says they are full of them.

If you give a dog a bone… you are leading him on… but if you throw a dog a bone… it is charitable.

When you are tired… and can not fathom lifting your head to face what is in front of you… you are weary to the bone.

You can love every bone in someones body… its a sign of affection.

When you are critical… of those you love… it cuts to the bone.

Make no bones about it… Who you are Bone Deep is what matters… Skin Deep and Thin skinned are no competition.

mage courtesy of Wiki Commons taken by Nevit Dilmen and used under the Creative Commons Agreement

Image courtesy of Wiki Commons taken by Nevit Dilmen and used under the Creative Commons Agreement

10 years is a decade!

Damn… first off… let me say… I’m looking mighty fine today…. no really… it’s just a good hair day and that is why I chose this prompt! “Find a photo of yourself taken 10 years ago and display it on your blog along with a current photo. How have you changed since the day that photo was taken?

mama kats

I remember that day 10 years ago pictured below… on the beach… helping small child fly a kite for the first time… he was so small… and I just wanted to do whatever I could to help him feel like he could do anything, accomplish anything, be anything he wanted… here I am 10 years later… he is a pimply 15.5 year old… I am spending my day sitting outside of the Neurological Learning and Behavior Center while he goes through 5 hours of IQ and Learning testing… because not that much has changed in 10 year… I am still determined to do whatever it takes to let him know there is not a single thing he can not do… You see… my small (or not so small) is not an A student… never has been…. he is a C and D student… and he has had to work as hard for those C’s as so many kids do for an A… High School is burying him alive… and he is just a drop in the ocean of kids there… no one is helping… so we are going to get that help here… He is SO SMART and BRIGHT… he just learns differently than the school district is teaching him… and I will get this kiddo to college… if he wants it… even if it kills me… So in regards to that nothing has changed in the last ten years… other than my hair got FABULOUS! In 3 weeks this center will provide me a road map to help with his educational future and we will know the right steps to take to reach his goals and dreams… whatever they may be… currently it is to be an element bender… or spiderman….  Im not sure they have a class for that shit. Looking down at that picture besides the obvious observation I also have great skin now… I see a good Mom… a mom sitting out here in the waiting area blogging her anxiety away… taking selfies like a teenager just for you! Seriously- 10 years-

5 Things…

mama kats

Well… Get ready for some gut level honesty… it does not happen often… But this is who I am.

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Betcha didn’t know…

I can’t play… Really… I can’t do it much to the dismay of all the smalls in my life… I can’t pretend… can’t walk that little doll along the table and talk for her… or pretend to have her fly through the air… no ponies, no action figures (I can FIGHT however… gimme a good action figure to wack you with and it is on).

I’m also a zombie fanatic… Seriously, ask me something about them…  But I’m sort of picky on what types of zombie stories I like… I prefer the apocalyptic ones… where the undead wins.

I aspire to be a writer when I retire…. I love to write stories and share ideas and thoughts.

My favorite thing in the universe to do is to interact with other people on any topic in the universe at an ungodly inappropriate hour because the conversation is so good. .. But I refuse to go to gatherings.

I am a jack of all trades… master of none… I honestly think I can converse about any topic in the universe fairly well… Dorothy Parker once wrote “the only cure for boredom is curiosity, there is no cure for curiosity” — I am afflicted with it.

Randoms things I know ..

Charles Manson… Ironically he is trending this week… suddenly I have people to talk with about this.

Religion … Mormonism… Catholicism… Mysticism… I love the subject and read up on all spiritual traditions… Partake in none of them.

The Hypothalamus – The Hormone Station…

&

The Hippocampus – The Memory Station… I majored in early childhood psychology for a period…

World affairs… I don’t often blog about them… but I am not one of those people that believe what FOX news (or any of the others media outlets really) I do my homework… I research… I support causes I believe in… I was there the first night Occupy camped out.

Things I don’t know

Sewing… or any kind of needle work at all… I think I am allergic to it

Cooking… I break out in hives

US History… For someone who cares so much about what is going on today… yeah… I got nothing.

Car Maintenance… Bahahahahaha!

Sports… of any kind.

I believe …

In miracles… I really do… I don’t think some white bearded man touched my life with his almighty finger or anything like that… But I have witnessed truly miraculous things.

In Angels… Yep… again… not winged trumpeting robed beings… but I believe in things that can’t be seen.

In My Children… With all of my heart… even though right now I dont really understand how they are going to pull it off… I think that they will do so fantastically!

In Myself… You see… most days I dont understand how I am going to pull it off… but I keep doing so.

In You… I believe… despite what I read about the world… despite what I see people doing to others… and the earth… that human kind as a whole is mostly good… that we are good… that small acts of kindness save lives… and they happen everyday. I Believe in you enough for both of us on the days that you don’t believe in yourself… so don’t sweat it… I have you covered…

Now… That being said… I wrote a cheeky blog last week… then forgot to link it up to MamaKats… but it was funny… So make sure you go show some love on that sad little creative post that I worked so hard on… cause it needs it!

Ransom Notes & 2 Year Olds

 

 

 

My Life in 12 Lines

mama katsWrite a post in just 12 lines.

… Going to work Monday mornings is like riding a bike

… And the bike is on fire…

And your clothes are on fire…

And everything’s on fire because you’re in Hell…

… At least Hell is warm

…  it is 39 degrees today

4 pm start pintresting dinner ideas from the office…

call small child and see what I may or may not have in the freezer…

… Get non authentic… but oh so fattening Mexican food instead

… Think of getting a load of laundry done… maybe some writing… painting

Turn on the tv… remove bra… put on PJs … curl up on couch instead…

Check alarm for setness … promise myself it will be different tomorrow…

 

stuck-in-a-rut-2

… Magic Happened

mama kats Share a recent text exchange that made you laugh.

Mr. Amazing: Hello

Me: Hiya

Mr. Amazing: Did I directly or indirectly make you grumpy with me?

Me:Nope… Im not grumpy

Mr. Amazing: Okay, I love you

Me: I love you too

Mr. Amazing:  you seemed grumpy, but it could have been my imagination

Me: I am always grumpy when sleeping… I butchered the shit out of my bangs this morning… thought you should know

Mr. Amazing: OMG – ROFL

Me: bahahahaha I should have cut them last night

Mr. Amazing:  how bad are they?

Me: ummmm on a scale from 1 – 10? they are fucked up bahahaha I was on cold medicine, didnt have my contacts in, the mirror was foggy from the shower, I used house scissors… and magic happened

Mr. Amazing:  OMG

Me: #everythingisawesome
Mr. Amazing:
scenegirl_shortish uglybang
LOL I loooove you!

Me: ROTFLMAO! They arent that bad
I mean… they are bad… but I didnt call into work and run to the salon or anything be nice or I will try to straighten them up with these scissors at my desk…. which I have also done before

Mr. Amazing:

Steve-Tyler-funny

Me:

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Mr: Amazing : Straighter than a catholic priest, wait… straighter than that LOL, they are fine I was picturing a butcher job half way up your forehead, I was scared for you.