Articles

Just a note from this ARTIST!

Sooooo 9 days ago I blogged for the first time in a long time… if you want to call it that…. I do, Obviously.

I talked about my latest street art project… and then I went into work later that week…. and was laid off.

I literally was explained to that I had succeeded myself right out of a job.

My Small graduates in 1 week.

Cue the midlife crisis already in full swing… into a fucking hurricane force frenzy.

So I did what anyone would do…. I got angry…. and then I got sad…. and then I drank wine…. and drunk tweeted.

Then I went thru the self loathing phase…. (Its been only 4 days …. all these things happened)

Then I applied for a DBA Licence…. and got it…. Fairy City is no longer just a hashtag.

Oh? But I didnt stop there…. Without even batting an eye…. I applied to be in the artists alley at our little towns art festival.

Application was accepted….

You know I always thought I’d write stories rather than live them….. And I always thought Smiffbib would be my go to name…. But Smiffbib will be my writing muse… and Fairy City my painting muse…. and I think I probably ought to stop typing and start painting… because I have approximately 2 months to get an entire collection together and ready to sale….

Adventure On Folks…. Light and Love to anyone who stumbles across this madness.

Seek Magic Everyday.

And then… Somewhere in the Midst of the Crazy… I remembered I had a Blog

Sooooo I think I only remember to write when I think I am dying…. So naturally this blog post comes after yet another nasty bout of infections …. Kidney and Sinus…. See my previous posts about CMV and learning I have no antibodies…. but I realized that I have shared my latest (Over the last year) fascination with street art…. and Ive posted so much about my #FairyCity and Fairy doors… well… this year I managed a #ThoughtBubble series… and its been all kinds of fun… Here are some of the pieces.

It has been so fun to place these and watch the few people ive caught looking at them… I ofcourse enjoy painting them more than anything else… But the real story of the year continues to be the magic happening behind the library here in town…. it has slowly become a community art project… people are adding to my little fairy city… home made fairies… rearranging the magic back there… upkeeping it for me… and well…. Its kind of magic.

 

I have so much more to say but its been so long since ive pulled out my old friend to write on that it has a million updates to install and is about to restart itself upon finishing its OS update… So I will leave this here for now…. But I am here! and I feel my time to write is resurfacing…. Love Love Love!

However Tenuous the Connection….

 

The Light and Shade Challenge 

The Challenge is to take whatever is sparked by the picture and/or the quotation, however tenuous or remote the connection, and see how much fun you can have in 500 words.

 

However Tenuous and Remote the connection…. When I looked at this image I saw a doorway to another place and time…. Archways often feel this way to me… Another thought sparked is Street Artists… The spray paint on the walls remind me of this…. the charm of the cobble stone street… the age of the trees…. the stone retaining wall…. everything about it is stark and with the lighting of the sky… quite dismal…. But somewhere under those ages trees and fallen leave is some magic… a portal to another world…

Here in my neck of the woods…. and well… Ive been shipping them all over (Even internationally) I have started a street art project… and honestly… its why I havent been writing… Just til sprinkler season 🙂 On instagram using the hashtag #FairyCity you will find these little reminders that magic does exist… and the smallest of gestures can change the world in big ways…. and that the world is not always dreary as it seems….

Thank you to my friends at the light and shade blog…. I love the prompts… Im sorry I havent been participating… but I have been watching and reading… while painting 🙂

 

Like Disappearing Reappearing Ink… Kinda

Soooo I havent blogged again… by now if you read my blog you know that if I am not blogging I am painting…. and its Fairy Season…. Hence the Disappearing act…. but you guys… so much magic is happening… SOOOO MUCH! I would encourage you to follow me on instagram which is where I am posting this madness of a street art project… because seriously… Im @SMIFFBIB ofcourse…. at least check out the hashtag Fairy City

 

Merry Musings of a seasonally affected Mind.

Write a blog post inspired by the word: Merry.

(and just like that, like I didn’t take a year off from the writers workshop… here is my post.)

I love the word Merry! To be Merry is to be cheerful… light-hearted…carefree…joyful… joyous… festive …happy… gleeful!

Proverbs 17:22 says  “A merry heart does good like a medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.”

That’s one of the reasons I love to decorate for Christmas (and  all the seasons for that matter)…it creates a merry…joyful….and festive atmosphere….and that kind of atmosphere is good for us! Beauty inspires! Beauty lifts our spirit! We could all use some of that right now…  It refreshes us.

This Tradition of crazy amounts of red and green decor…  It can give us a positive outlook on life… It’s a way of celebrating the light in the darkest part of our year… Seasonal depression hits for me… like clockwork… the day after Halloween.

I can feel my shoulders slack and my mood weaken. November is usually busy enough to stave off the desperation that will hit later… thankfully… But the fear and paranoia are there: The sun is setting before 5 p.m. and one night spent bored and alone in the gathering dark might pull me under permanently… and honestly it is something I force myself  to keep going to do all the things all the way through the 21st of December… when suddenly my brain magically starts to believe it…. and I feel good again…

I have depression all year… It bobs up like a buoy, sneakily but regularly…I become reclusive… because showing my face when I feel awful inside is deceitful… I frequently believe my depression isn’t real… or my anxiety is from lack of sleep… so I end up feeling worse about both.

If you find yourself scrolling these pictures of Snowman Bathrooms and Painted windows (yes yes… I did all that magic LOL) let me remind you… Our environment and the atmosphere around us can effect our emotions… and our emotions can affect our physical health. Dr. Don Colbert says ” How you feel in your heart can show up in your body, for your heart and body are more powerfully connected than you have ever realized.”  So even the tiniest bit of  candle glow or sparkle here and there can remind us that the days will start becoming longer again… and the sun will return…. life will come back to the frozen ground and trees… and the earth will be Merry again!

“The holly’s up, the house is bright,

the tree is ready, the candles alight. “~German Carol

 

 

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,
just like the ones I used to know
May your days be merry and bright,
and may all your Christmases be white! ~Irving Berlin 1942

 

Annnnnnnd…. Now to take it all down again 🙂

 

Aleppo is saying goodbye

These people … men … women… children… are dying as I type this… They are saying good bye… They deserve to be heard. So put on your big girl panties and listen to them… They are not invisible…

Silence is a crime

This is Genocide

The Most Ugly Feeling in the world is Helplessness.

UN?.. UNITED NOTHING!

It is too late,

Sharing that feeling of Helplessness?

Me Too…

My heart hurts and tears flow…

The only thing I can find that seems fitting from where I am in this world is to talk about it… not be silent… and I donate to White Helmets.(info below)

Ideology Vs. The Reality of Sexual Assault and raising smalls.

Today… I prolonged a rape… I wish like hell I could say I had stopped it…. I definitely stopped it in that moment… but I am not naive enough to think that it is not going to be inevitable if something does not change.

Sometimes when teasing Mr. Amazing I pop off with some very sexist degrading remarks when we are bantering back and forth over different stereotypes and he always looks at me kind of baffled…. because I am actually kind of proper… and he wonders where I would come up with such language… (This must come as a surprise… anything you have ever heard me say has been only for a reaction… I don’t really consider myself quite as sexually revolutionized as I suggest) I often laugh it off… but the other day I looked at him and he really wanted to know where I had heard the words I had spouted off at him… He wanted to know if someone had said them to me… I explained they had been said to me … many times over the years… “Wanna see my Penis?” …Sometimes they don’t ask first… and just assume you do…. and had been to most every girl I knew… and would be said to his daughter as well most likely… It was just part of being a girl in our society… right or wrong… it certainly wasn’t ideal… it was the reality.

We went to the park… out in the middle of the City… we do this often if it is not too hot to get some exercise and spend some time together as a family… (This is code for PokeMon Hunting)… We parked and walked around the several blocks long park enjoying the 80 degree weather… but severely disappointed in the lack of Pokemon… we had been there several times just like this… and spent hours there enjoying our “Family Time”… We buy a quick treat on the west side of the Duck Pond and Big Hill… and us adults cringe a little as we realize it is Sunday… Which means Drum Circle…. Which we affectionately refer to as Drug Circle… and try to not call attention to the obvious cloud of smoke and sounds coming from the hill…. and we talk over ice cream about how drugs are not okay… to three tuned out kiddos…We decide that the park day was just not what we thought it would be and we would head back home after about 40 minutes after leaving our vehicle… and rather that walk past the hill crowd we took the sidewalk back around the duck pond laughing about how before Pokemon go we would have thought just the walk and the weather and the ducks were the greatest thing ever… as we neared our car I saw her… someone younger than my adult daughter… but older than my small (17 year old) at least I think she was… She was most likely the age of my niece (who is the third kiddo with us today… 18 almost 19)…they all look so young to me now… they all are someone’s baby… she is sitting on the curb… one car from mine… with her head literally on the ground by the tires… she’s quite flexible… I am pretty sure her position is equal to putting her feet behind her head… and she is obviously under the influence of… well… god knows what…. I motion for Mr. Amazing to get in the car… because see in our society… because he has a penis… he cannot help this girl that is intoxicated… or small children if they are scared or hurt… because he just can’t right? …. he ushers the kids in and knew that I was going to make sure the girl was okay… this is not our first rodeo … infact… its pretty much a regular occurrence….We never just walk by and shake our heads at people in bad situations… not the homeless… not the mentally challenged or ill…. not anyone… and we certainly do not pull out our phones… and take pictures… or video…. People are never invisible to us…. essentially… I do not mind my own business…. ever.

“Hey… Hey… Are you okay? Can you get up?”

Half way through the sentence slurring of “some kind of friends I have… WHAT? Yeah… I’m okay”

“You dont look okay… get your head off the ground and let me look at you.”

She lifts her head and looks at me… she is completely wasted…. but her eyes are not dilated… I check her pulse… she is not pale or sweating or shaking…  She is not vomiting or complaining of any pain. I have seen at least 2 police patrols in the short time I have been there… I think I see one go by again now. I don’t really have an opinion about what goes on in Drug Circle on the HIll…. Because I only make choices for myself… and obviously I am choosing not to be there. That being said I see a ziplock bag with what is obviously Marijuana on the grass next to her and a wallet (a nice one actually) on the grass behind her “Is this yours? pick it up… right now… put it in your purse… I am not dealing with this shit just to make sure you are okay…. Do you want me to call someone for you? Who are you here with? Can I help you?”

“What do you got?”

“Nothing you consider ‘good'” besides… yours is still on the grass next to you… pick that shit up now” She does so as I move around her to get the wallet which seems much safer to pick up and hand her… I ask her again if she is okay… and she assures me she is… I tell her to be careful… and stop laying on the ground… as I move to my car to go… kind of chuckling to myself that my kids have witnessed this entire thing…. as I climb into the passenger seat… I spot the man… Id seen him when I approached her as well… but just assumed he was watching her curiously… he was still there… walking back and forth on the walk behind her… “Don’t leave yet” I mutter to Mr. Amazing… who nods as I point at the man who is to well groomed and clean to be hanging out at this stupid young drug circle…. the man keeps watching her and looking up at us to see if we are going to leave… his brazenness startles me a little… and I realize he knows the chance of this girl being awake or coherent enough is slim… and no one is going to call the police… because… drugs galore.

Suddenly a young man walks across from the hill and sits beside her on the curb… I get out of the car again… the girl has once again dumped the belongings of her purse (which is also quite nice… as are her clothes… and makeup… and hair… she isn’t without a home) is leaning on his shoulder…. losing some stupid clip in extension of hair in the process… which he graciously just picks up… and I approach again “Hey.” They both look up… out of the corner of my eye I see the man still pacing… closer now… and I am angry at this point. “Do you know this guy?” to the girl… motioning to the guy she is leaning on.

half way slurring into his face “do you have my shit?” she turns and faces me “No, I’ve never seen him before” The guy slaps his forehead… I roll my eyes… the girl smiles up at me idiotically and hugs my legs whispering to the guy “She’s got my back” The guy stands immediately knowing it looks bad for him… which is stupid… this girl is being completely… well…. inebriated. I point openly at the creeper waiting patiently for the girl to be left alone again… “This Prick over here is just waiting for her to pass out again… complete freak… I need to know who she is here with” They both look at the guy… who completely ignores this exchange but does not back off at all… infact he comes closer… it dawns on me maybe he is her pimp? but my gut tells me thats not the case… she is not on the streets… not yet… and this guy with her is actually in better shape that she is… soberish… not marks or scratches… clean clothes… well groomed… just young kids being complete dumb asses and making really stupid choices. The guy nods understanding and looks at the girl “You want me to get Haus?” seriously? haus? is that even a name? why are these people here … im angrier still… the man is closer still…. Mr Amazing informs me at this point he has a hand on the door and one on his phone…. “You have to take her with you”…

Girl who is probably really quite intelligent and well spoken but currently is completely dumber than a box of rocks “I don’t know him”

“What is her name?” I had picked up her wallet… seen her credit cards… student identification and such… and he tells me the correct name.

“You go with him over to the hill… or I get you help… I wont leave you here… this complete asshole is going to hurt you” again calling the man who is very close out loudly… and again… he does not change… or back off…. I am stunned by this as I realize… this is probably a regular thing for him… infact… I don’t smell alcohol on her and what has fallen out of her purse does not explain her condition… He could have slipped her whatever was… or not… as she loses another extension… and all the contents of her purse… again… as she falls trying to walk with the guy to the hill as I am telling him loudly that if he touches her and anyone touches her I will kick his ass…. this time a small jar of small smoky looking stones…. why oh why …. all these horrible decisions are still not a reason… I force her again to pick it all up … I again offer help… I do not call the police… People will surely think that was the right move… but my gut told me otherwise… the police were here… the police had driven by her… I wanted to call an ambulance… or a mom honestly… but I only had what I had to work with… I continue my tirade against her and the guy “You both look smarter than this… what the hell… get her help… dont leave her… keep her around people… do not touch her or let anyone else… ” switching the lecture to the girl “Do no drink or ingest another thing… get your ass home… this is so stupid… you could be hurt or worse… so stupid… you are better than this.” I walk them half way to the hill…. the man is following… the girl at this point is thanking me profusely and watching him over her shoulder… so is the guy… I still dont know if I have done the right thing… I dont know what was really going on… all I know is what would have been going on at that moment had we not come back to our car Pokemonless…. I glare at the man… Mr Amazing wants to call the police… I shake my head… for what… the man hasnt done anything wrong… yet… we watch as the two young people make it back to the Hill and the people and the drums… at least she is not alone… I dont know if she is any safer. I did the best I could do … I would be able to sleep at night with my decision….

I look back over my shoulder into the back seat at the two teens and Smallest girl sitting between them… “Thats why we dont do drugs”

We all kind of recap what has happened… and I realize… what will make me lose sleep…

The message to my son was clear…. Don’t do drugs… Don’t touch anyone who isn’t able to give consent… ever. This is not new … and honestly… he doesnt understand why someone would find that helpless girl kissing the concrete something to “rise to the occasion” about…. He does not get it. At All. I LOVE that about him. A Penis does not make one a Monster… It does not make you do anything or behave in any way at all… it is an appendage of your body. Not the ruler of your intelligent decision making ability. The conflicting message for him was…. simply because he had a penis… he would be treated that way… and that was something he was going to have to deal with… he couldnt help… he would be accused of thinking and wanting to do things that are below him. Not Ideal… but very Real

The messages to my girls were a little more disturbing…. If this girl had not done drugs… in this case… she would not be in the situation that was about to take place… that did not make the situation okay… that did not make it her fault… but I had to say the words… “Do not let yourself be in this situation… because this will happen”… and my feminist screamed at me…. but it was real. “She did not give that man permission to touch her… so if he did… and hurt her… it was not her fault… but if she could walk… or think clearly… he may not have approached her”… and part of me died a little… the part of me that had finally put some blame for things in my life on the appropriate people… because… I was where I shouldn’t have been… I looked again at my son and immediately put it right back where it belonged… for both me and the girl… you see… this wasn’t about a penis… and a girl is not just a hole for one… “The problem was the man… his brain wasnt wired right or something… he was scary and not okay”

Small girl will go through maturation this year… she is in fifth grade… unfortunately because of this… we will have to tell her what rape is…. as we explain the beauty of sex… our bodies… the amazing way they are wired to release stress… give affection… love… because she wants to know what that man wanted … why was he following that girl.

There is nothing wrong with your body… but keep it covered…

Its never your fault… but don’t be in places where that can happen

Men are strong and wonderful… unless you don’t know them… dont talk to them… get help if one smiles at you… No you don’t have to be grateful they said you’re pretty… no you don’t have to smile because they said to…. No… its not okay for them to show you their penis…

You can always call the police…. sigh… I don’t know how to explain this one even to you as I type it.

This was my experience today… I know women can be creepers… and men are assaulted as well… I am not making blanket statements…

I do not know the answer to my predicament… I don’t know what the right advice is to give to my girls… or my men.

I have to accept ideology vs reality. I can believe one thing…. but have to act against my core belief in order to keep people safe. I hate that.

How do you all deal with it? Really… what do you tell your children… your peers… Discuss… because I am at a complete loss… and how do we fix it.

 

The Universe has a Pulse… and rhythm of its own.

The tempo at which we march through our days… weeks … months… is wrong. The vibration that moves us the very throbbing of the hearts of mankind are out of time with each other. The cadence of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness is off beat.

In a Professional Symphony… The conductor sets the tempo by forming an invisible shape in the air with his hand. When the conductor cues for an accelerando… the music speeds up. When the conductor raises his arms to gesture grandioso the amount of air blowing into the wind instruments increases… and likewise, to soften the orchestra to pianissimo…the conductor again traces back down with his limbs to quiet the noise.

In a Jr. High Orchestra…this goes a bit differently….

We are the Jr High Orchestra People!!!

The chaotic variations that we are stumbling through are simply because we are moving through the most beautiful piece ever written… and we are not very good at our parts yet.

Even before Social Media existed… I was obsessed with what was going on in the world… far beyond my safe little neighborhood…. well away from my conservative state in the middle of America.

I was a young teen when the Gulf War was televised…. Literally…  watching it all night long on a small 15 inch black and white tv (What! I had paid for it myself… and I was young… Color TVs had existed since before I was born… Im not that old) … I would stay up all night just watching in fascination…. because I had never even seen this place before…. my friends were there…. fighting…. I quit sleeping… then… I don’t think I ever really started again… there have been many wars since then… they are hardly even covered any longer… let alone televised.

Twitter was born… for my trapped little mind… it was an avenue out of this rose colored world being streamed to us on the TV now… I was reading live the tweets of the man in the coffee shop as he watched the US helicopter land in the neighborhood the night they killed Bin Laden… I lay awake all night  reading the messages of people in the square of Egypt… Turkey… Ferguson… as they came in…

I became very ill… I have blogged about how sick I got… in the last two years… and as I took my leap of faith last year… part of that leap resulted in less time spent on Social Media… Although I never unplugged completely… i would go days without even opening that cute little white birded app.

In the wee hours of Sunday Morning…. I opened it again…. at about 1 am my time…. I was very careful not to read the Tweets from inside the club… not to follow that stream… because I had become sensitive again… But I read the tweets of the people outside the club… the mother waiting for word of her daughter… the man desperately wanting to know if the victim with the very shirt off his back wrapped around his wounds had survived… with tears running freely I followed the entire scene for over 24 hours…. at first I was afraid… then I was sad… then I was FUCKING ANGRY… and now… now as I write this I am a melting pot of all of those emotions which really translates to a confused version of Disgusted Hope. (Good Luck figuring that shit out)

I believe we are that Jr High Orchestra of the Universe…. We… Mankind itself… is stumbling through this piece… the cadence is wrong…

Regarding , Politics… Religion… Hate. its pianissimo. Shhhh. Someone Cue the media.

In fact… to move in the right direction we will have to remove the composition off the music stand… We can rip the pages off altogether and watch as they go falling off to the side and throw a new piece up. Love. Kindness. Acceptance. Movement.  Energy. Get the heads looking over here again, Hate is impossible because the trumpets are so loud you can’t hear anything else from the orchestra. Cymbals are crashing… drums are roaring,

The Conductor’s hands are dramatically waving from the shoulder joint itself in huge looping arcs.

Try to keep up… keep quiet when it is negative… and play from the pits of your soul the love that is there….

I am so sorry for those who lost their loved ones at Pulse… I am so heart broken that anyone who is already struggling through the ugly measures of preconceived notions of love and personhood are not who they are… that is now alone… and afraid.

I am sorry we sell semi automatic assault rifles in the name of our founding fathers… I am embarrassed really…

I equally embarrassed that we discuss the genitalia of those we want to take a shit next to in front of the world…

America being the youngest…Like toddlers talking about poop…sigh

I am devastated that the term “20 minutes of action” even exists…

But I am not Hopeless… and I am not giving up… and I am not alone…

Neither are you.

IMG_6893

One day I believe we will be practiced… we will be in beat… we will harmonize and make beautiful music… the discouragement is palpable…  but no one give up!

I think the only people who know how to leave comments are SERIOUS about me needing to source some shit from China!

Bahahahaha! I got through the last two weeks of school… a trip to the lake… finally have a moment to breathe and log in to do some serious blogging… I mean this is prime shit right here… and I find 700 spam comments from people advertising sources in china… so there you go…. I dedicate this to them…. because they obviously really know me…..

Whew! I am not really sure where to start…. I think I have finished with my fairy doors…. I say I think because even though I am 100% positive at this moment…. things change with the direction of the wind … emotionally… mentally… spiritually… and even physically….. I will however leave the door open (ha! see what I did there) by saying… I am now a fan of street art magic like that… and am sure there are a million and one more shenanigans inside of me…

Highlights of the project:

I moved more… a lot actually… which is sad that my physical exercise was getting in and out of my car 20 times a day and stooping down to fix doors or place doors… some of them required a bit of walking…. so there is that.

I got some of the coolest responses from everyone… and the kids fairy offerings were my favorite

I painted… so much!

I improved someones quality of life besides my own – Now that is a bold statement… thinking fairy doors could improve someones quality of life… I think it is indisputable however that the children finding them had an improved outlook on life… but there was someone else watching me the entire time that I was unaware of until the day I went and gathered the doors for the summer…. Infact… I think she might have been the reason I woke up that day and decided to start this crazy project… I just didnt know it yet… This is the story of her… and at some other point I will tell you my other stories… because so much is happening…and I dont mean fairy doors LOL… I digress…. Her story:

I believe I have mentioned that the first time I went to check on the very first fairy doors I put out that I saw this woman behind the public library… I had a feeling she was living there… but there was no proof of that… she was clean… kind… and quietly reading a book… as someone who had spent sometime living on the streets though… I knew the value of finding a place like that… where you could really sleep and not worry too much about others… and I wondered then why I had never thought to sleep there in my youth… I told my son about her… asked him as we left the restaurant across the street with leftovers if we should go over and see if she was hungry… but he convinced me upon seeing her that there was no way she was homeless… that she was just relaxing there… and that we would be insulting her to offer her our leftovers…. so we didnt….. over the two months that I played fairies… I saw her at least 85% of the time I was on that path… and many times we exchanged pleasantries as I worked up to an entire fairy realm behind the library… I was finding stacks of leaves in front of the doors… and hearts made out of rocks in front of them… and I loved the location… (See Previous Posts for examples of some of the fun book quotes I was using there) … But as I decided to take the summer off of fairying… I realized I needed to clean them up… so they didnt lose their magic… and Mr. Amazing and I went down the path on Memorial Day…. By this time I knew my original instinct about this pretty lady had been right… and on this warm evening… she was there again… tucked back in a corner… I greeted her again… and told her what I was doing…. She shocked me by looking quite broken hearted … telling me how much she had been enjoying them… I told her how fun they had been and why I was doing them… and that I would be back in the fall with something magical again… She looked downright sheepish when I told her about the hearts made from rocks… and I realized right then and there that I had set out to bring magic back… and I was meeting my fairy offering giver… not a child at all…. So I sat down next to her… which scared her honestly… and told her that I wished I had thought of staying back here when I was living on the streets…. and I told her that I didnt have much… but that I would like to help her some how… and gave her a few options… I had a budget I could live with… It would cover either one night in a hotel… so that she could shower and sleep soundly… or a very nice hot meal and a gift card…. or I could take that same amount and go get her some things that would last a little longer…. She was very spooked and very embarrassed… but admitted that as nice as the first two offers sounded she really could use some supplies… So I explained to her that I had a few more things to take care of… but not to leave… and not to worry… that we would be back with something that would help…. So we went to the local rite aid… and we got some socks… and a small first aid kit… some foot cream… some wisps for her perfectly straight (and recently cleaned) teeth… that I cannot get out of my mind… she had not been out long… and she had come from somewhere that she had access too great dental care and health care …. We got some very sensible protein… beef jerky… almonds… tuna pouches…. and we got some candy items… chocolate and gummy butterflies… we got as much as we thought she would be able to put in her backpack… and then we bought a trac fone…. with a card with some minutes… and we took our haul back over to her… we sat on the stairs with her and made sure the trac fone got activated and worked (we looked like complete idiots trying to figure that thing out) they come with a full charge so she would have it through the night and I knew she could go in the library during the day and charge it… I asked her if there was anyone I could call for her… she shook her head… I tried asking a few more things… but she was very tightlipped…. and I told her it was okay… she didnt need to talk to me… but if she ever wanted too…. I would answer… I took one of my doors and I wrote my name and phone number on the back of it… as well as the YWCAs phone number… and gave it to her… she whispered that it was her favorite door as I did… I had selected that one… suspecting it was what she needed to hear the most… and hugged her and left…. I have had to resist going back… I just wanted to take her home with me… I searched the missing persons database… I just know she is someones loved one… I dont know what she is running from… if she is afraid of being hurt… I just know that I do not believe in coincidences… and that my fairy doors were in the right place at the right time…. for both of us.

I have so much more to say… and so much more art to show… but I am just going to leave this here… for now… and remind myself in years to come that this story happened in the middle of my avoiding finishing my book… which is about a homeless girl…. thats all

OH! … Here is the door I left her… excuse me while I go clean up my mascara from blubbering like an idiot through this.

IMG_6678

Feel free to comment… unless you want to tell me about this great source in China you have… then fuck off.

Through this little door….

Once in a while… right in the middle of an ordinary life…. life gives us a fairy tale….

I am not even really sure how this happened… I posted about these little fairy doors a couple of weeks ago… about how I just wanted t make a few peoples days a little brighter…. well… things have certainly gotten brighter…. Lets start with some pictures and then I will tell you more about it…. These are out and about all over Bountiful Utah… and its is funny… because I really thought people would not see them… or ruin them…

Bees Buddha Courage Monkeys outandabout outandabout2 Rains Sparkle

as you can see from the images…. not only did people not take them… I felt this weird obligation once I realized people were looking at them… being careful with them… drawing hearts with rocks in front of them… stacking leaves in front of them (I am assuming these are little girls doing this) to well…. keep up the locations… we have had some insane weather around here lately… rain and wind… but my little doors just keep staying… I have had evidence (Such as chewed gum used as adhesive) that I am getting help with the upkeep of these…. Sooooooo I had some little stuff around my house… from other projects… and I began making additions…. LOL I have painted 26 doors now… I still have 20 of them out there… some have gotten taken… which was the original assumption… so I am not upset about that… but the ones that stay are the ones that make me laugh… I wonder what people think…. there is a sweet little path behind our local library (the bountiful library) that has several…. I think that at this point that is where I am going to have to focus most of my attention… I wonder if at some point the city will complain about these little fairies being about…. but so far they havent… and I suppose at this point also I am probably going to be a little sad when some kid, teen, or adult comes through and finally does break them… or throw them away…. or whatever…. but for now… I am going to continue my little game… I have no idea who is seeing them… if they like them? or what is going on… but about every 72 hours or so… I go a make a round to them all… and make sure I am not littering… that they are in good condition… and I usually add something to the site… Its small… I know… but I do feel like something is happening… even if it is to me.