Articles

Winter Montage

  A photo journal entry…show us what winter looks like in your town.

So little known fact… when your small avoids senior pictures… and you wait until the last minute to take them… you take them in the snow!

That same small with his childhood friend… they go to rival schools… and are fake fighting in front of the third rival school…

Because graduation announcements should be fun… and the fact that he is growing up makes me wanna punch him in the face!

They are pretending to steal this car… which if I werent photographing… they probably would

This funny tilted sidewalk picture was probably my favorite….

They were freezing!!

Stay Warm Folks!!! We have more winter ahead!

Live like the Italian

My son is leaving for Italy this June… right after graduation…. Lately being an American woman … an american anything…has been both a source of pride… and … well lets just say we will get this all sorted out.

But the Infamous

Light and Shade Challenge

… who I used to mostly respond with fiction short stories to their prompts… but I find reality needing so much more attention these days… have prompted my gypsy soul…. that travels the world… which apparently I have given my Small … a taste of Italy.

Image from WikiCommons, taken by Andrea Pavenello and used under the Creative Commons Agreement

 

      Yes.. I realize this is a bit of a stretch with this image… but it is what it sparked in my mind… and this is my blog… so we are going with it

Eat a Light dinner….Buy natural… fresh foods–preferably organic. Italians frequent local farmers’ markets every week and buy breads at bakeries,… fish and fish mongers and meat at butchers. Or… better yet… learn to grow your own food… Sure… they have supermarkets…  but on regular occasion… food is purchased fresh for use the same day…. Dinner is about celebrating a day of hard work…. and family…. Italians respect their elders much more than Americans. They also dote on their children and consider them as the most precious things in their lives… Slow Down and Stop Rushing… Most of the time we do not take a lunch break… or eat on the run during the day… Dinner can be an all night event… talk… drink… be merry…. and enjoy your time… Americans drink far more wine and hard liquor than Italians do… even though most Italians will have wine and occasional cocktails…. The difference is they drink wine with meals for the taste–not to forget the stresses of the day…  Italians will also have a small aperitif before a meal… Drink for the taste and with meals to drink like an Italian… Embrace people… The Italian hug and kiss. Old men walk arm in arm–women do too… Even men embrace and kiss each other on the cheek… We are way too distant from each other… Hugging a friend to show how glad you are to see them is a great thing… Don’t let a day go by without touching another human being… and animal… pets count! Take a walk with your family or friends. Each night in every town in Italy, Italians get out after dinner to walk in the piazza or the main viale (boulevard). They call it the passeggiata It’s a time to relax and digest… Meet and visit neighbors… relatives and friends… It’s also a time to shut off the TV and just be still for a moment. Finally…. Learn to live with less…Smaller houses and apartments and smaller cars… That is the Italian way… oh and PIZZA!

Dress for the position you want…. So I did!

 Tell us about the last time you dressed up.

When I quit my job over a year ago … I threw out anything and everything that I had forced myself to wear and be to fit into the mold I had gotten myself trapped in… and then Magic happened… Yes I am 43…. Yes I wear this tomfoolery to the new office… Its kinda magic.

Soooo I have a bit of a love affair with my clothes – Meet my Totoro collection

This fancy ensemble was my second Alice In Wonderland dress…. and man did I ever rock it!

May the 4th with my HUGE Small.

Oh! a Tardis Dress? Yes please! annnnnd if you look close at the weird position of my feet for picture taking reasons…. those are R2D2 socks

My first and FAVORITE Alice in Wonderland Dress – This one I need to have taken in… Im not willing to let it go… even though it is too big now

My Homemade Freddy Krueger outfit… I was going to meet him! It was a special occasion! Look at his MOOBS!

See! This happened!

 

A little Jack Skellington at the Symphony… As you can see I was not the only one dressed up

This was my actual Halloween costume for the office… I dressed up normal. It made everyone uncomfortable actually.

I leave you to be inspired by these Ariel shoes… because like the shirt says… Mermaids have more fun!

 

Sunday Morning is my favorite holiday

Every Sunday Morning I get a playdate with my favorite young men/toddlers and the newest little tiny princess…. I take this opportunity to take them places that they do not normally get to go… and it of course makes me the first to take them to the zoo… or to ride a roller coaster… or to go down a water slide… It has become quite legendary…. a great example of some of the lengths I go can be found throughout this blog…. but Ironically the favorite story ever came from a missed week… and if you missed… you’re going to want to see this – GrandParents Day Out

But just this morning I was tweeting our local news channel and museum about a lego exhibit… and then I saw the prompt from Kat…. must be a sign.

 List your favorite local kid-friendly activities.

Im pretty lucky… I live in a beautiful area…. that has all four seasons in their full glory…. Surrounded by mountains… and I live in the desert…. So there is quite a bit to do… However they are little…. and Sunday is ummmmm Sacred around here? Meaning nothing is open… ever… LOL so we get creative…

This weekend we will be at The Leonardo (The lego exhibit sounds amazing)

Some of our other small child adventures have included… The Zoo... The Natural History Museum…. Bounce Houses are always a hit!

The list goes on and on…. In fact we have been doing this for over a year now… If you don’t have a regularly scheduled adventure date with the smalls who hold your heart… I highly suggest it… here are a few images of pure joy 🙂 (You are just going to have to tilt your head… Its too early to fix some of these)

Ofcourse some of our favorite memories is just at home… in our toy room… with a home made breakfast and arts and crafts.

 i

 

New Years Resolutions create Wormhole or Dark Matter or a Tear in the Space Time Continuum

Mr Amazing and Small Child would be repulsed by my lack of scientific knowledge or basis for my claim made in the title of this blog… but they will never be in danger of falling in stated Worm Hole because that would require reading my blog… and honestly they have to listen to me talk… so they’ve done more than enough.

1. Share your 2017 New Year Resolution. How did last year’s turn out?

You know what? I’m an overachiever … I mean I am really the type of woman that likes to go above and beyond the call of duty…. Not to float my own boat or anything but I am going to take two of the writers prompts this week… because I am just sitting here waiting to be discovered and recognized for my many unusual talents… word twisting being one of them… So here is your bonus prompt.

6. What were you blogging about a year ago? What has changed since then?

It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that possibly last year at this time I was writing about Resolutions…. and here is the beginning of the Wormhole Time Continuum Tear in the Dark Matter of my life… Clicking HERE will open another window where you can read what I was writing about resolutions last year at this time… where in said writings you will be invited yet again to click somewhere to preview the previous years writings…. and so forth.

Maybe the root of my Dark Matter is the fact that I am old… and have had the luxury of vomiting my thoughts into this keyboard for many moons…. or we could go with the Worm Hole theory… because it sounds nicer.

My 2016 Resolution was to pursue that which sets my soul on fire.

And did I ever. I painted for an entire year. I finally gave up the nicotine gum. I lost 60lbs. I exercised more than other years… okay I played pokemon go…. I travelled to a new state and spent time with some life longers while celebrating our 5th anniversary as Mr and Mrs Amazing and the Smalls (It’s a circus act really)… I worked hard… I took time for myself. I had yet another (and final from angel girl) grandchild… and guess what! Its a girl! a breathing… smiling… beautiful doppelganger of my Angel Girl. (for those that don’t remember her first girl)

So if I were to suggest my plans for the next year were to do more of the same… I’d just be cursing myself to do the exact opposite… because seriously… that is what I tend to do…. I do not know if it is self sabotage or self preservation… but I do know this… I am going to do whatever it is that causes my soul to dance inside my body… I am going to be kind… I am going to believe that there is good in everything… Even our current political situation… because I saw people as I volunteered at a local shelter this holiday season … I saw them give more than ever before… because they were afraid that it was needed more than ever before… and even if that is all the positive that comes out of our current President Elect…. it is still positive.

So in keeping with Tradition of very vague resolutions to ensure successful achievement I choose to do this!

So much love and light to you and yours in this year 2017!

This is one year ago… almost to the day

This is earlier this month… The level of Soul Fire is obvious.

Grandparents Day Out! – The greatest story ever written… ever… fight me!

And on this sunday morning… on these blank little books… this magic is being delivered… with Donuts!

Blank Books

GRANDPARENTS DAY OUT

10/02/2016

This was a Sunday morning like no other. Grandma Kerry and Grandpa Benjamin were relaxing on the couch waiting for their Grandchildren to come!

The soft sun rays were shining through the window as the gentle wind blew. They felt very special as they quietly whispered to each other. They said, “It’s almost 10 o’clock! ”

The phone rang suddenly, “Hello?”

The best mother in the whole wide world was on the other end of that phone call “I don’t think we can make it! My most precious children have ‘<Insert Whatever Virus Here>’”

“OH NO!” Exclaimed the Grandparents! “You better stay home then! Grandma gets very sick with childhood illnesses!!! But we hope they get better soon!”

Grandpa Benjamin and Grandma Kerry looked at each other …. They were both feeling very sad not to get to have a Sunday Adventure with Jason, Cameron, Jordan and Addison! How could they cheer themselves up?

Grandma Kerry had an idea!

“Grandpa Benjamin, Lets go on an adventure just you and I!” she exclaimed

Grandpa Benjamin nodded his head excitedly “Okay! Let’s go to all the magical places we would never take the kids… because it is way too dangerous! But we are grownups!”

So they snuck out of the house past an Aunt Lacey who was playing Animal Jam at the computer. Tiptoed right by an Uncle Johnathon who was still sleeping, because he can sleep forever! They patted Zip on the head and scratched behind Shadow cats ear and just like that they hopped in their car and took off!

Giggling excitedly after their sneaky escape, they headed toward their first stop. “Remember what Jason said about the place that has Trampolines to Jump and Pools to Swim in?” Grandma Kerry asked Grandpa.

“Ofcourse! He is such a clever boy! If he ever knew the truth!” Grandpa turned the car in the direction of the super secret jump and swim land.

There was not a child in sight as jumping from trampolines into swimming pools was very dangerous! But these grandparents laugh in the face of danger!

“Ha Ha Ha” they laughed as the jumped high into the air and canonballed straight into the water.

Jump and Swim Land

When they surfaced Grandpa Benjamins beard was dripping and Grandma Kerrys black eye makeup was running down her cheeks, but they began to feel the loneliness of missing those magical kids get a little easier.

They jumped several more times. They were so big that their splashes were enormous! It was such a fun time!

“I suppose this would be the perfect time to check on our Rocket Ship! We never have time during the week because of work!” Grandpa said as they floated about the pool.

“Great Idea!” Said Grandma. “We can go there next, because we can never let those fantastic boys and their new little sister know we have it! My Goodness! Can you imagine? Cameron would push all the buttons!”

Grandpa nodded in agreement “Jordan is learning how to push things too, just like they always try to push my speakers!”

They left the windows down as the drove away to let their hair dry because  Space was cold and neither of them wanted to get sick because they definitely couldn’t go another Sunday without being able to play with the Grandkids.

They quickly put on their space suits, Grandma’s hair was so long it poked right out of her helmet. Grandpa tucked it in and helped zip it up. He was always taking such good care of people.

3…2…1 BLAST OFF!!!!

And just like that they were off!
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Rocketing through the atmosphere until they were up into the stars in space, and the Earth looked like a big pretty blue marble behind them. They shot past Mars and went through the rings of Saturn but it was just no fun without the kids. So they slingshotted around Jupiter and fell back to Earth knowing that as adventurous as Space Travel was… The best kind of adventures on Sunday Mornings were the ones with their Grandchildren.

Grandma Kerry missed covering Addison’s Face in a bazillion kisses, She missed Jason running and jumping into her arms, She missed stealing Cameron kisses every time he got close enough to her to steal them. She missed fake sneezing at Jordan so that she could sneaky kiss him too! Ah Ah Ah CHOO!!!!

Grandpa Benjamin missed tickling Jason, giving Cameron warm hugs, spinning Jordan around in circles and holding sweet baby Addison!

They looked at each other knowingly as they climbed out of their Rocket Ship.

Grandma held up 7 fingers to Grandpa.

Grandpa held up 7 fingers back to Grandma.

7 days and it would be Sunday again! Their favorite day of the week.

“Cameron asked for Donuts this week” Grandma Kerry told Grandpa Benjamin.

“Jason loooooooooooooooooooves Donuts!” Grandpa said.

“Addison is too little but Jordan is finally old enough to have them too!”

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Off to the bakery they went. Hoping that everyone would get feeling better soon and that Grandma Kerry wouldn’t catch the bug! No Antibodies! Whoever heard of such a thing!

They got enough Donuts for Everyone! Some for Mommy and Daddy, Even Uncle Johnathon and Aunt Lacey!

When their adventure was over they flopped back onto the couch and turned on the TV. They sure hoped that the next 7 days would go by quickly! They just loved Sunday Morning Adventures!!!

G&G

(Okay I totally put a picture of us not kissing in the books… but its funnier like this!)

Authors: Grandpa Benjamin and Grandma Kerry

 

Cover Artist: Uncle Johnathon (Cover Art below— and WOW!!!)

 

Illustrator: Aunt Lacey

 

GET WELL SOON!

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Ideology Vs. The Reality of Sexual Assault and raising smalls.

Today… I prolonged a rape… I wish like hell I could say I had stopped it…. I definitely stopped it in that moment… but I am not naive enough to think that it is not going to be inevitable if something does not change.

Sometimes when teasing Mr. Amazing I pop off with some very sexist degrading remarks when we are bantering back and forth over different stereotypes and he always looks at me kind of baffled…. because I am actually kind of proper… and he wonders where I would come up with such language… (This must come as a surprise… anything you have ever heard me say has been only for a reaction… I don’t really consider myself quite as sexually revolutionized as I suggest) I often laugh it off… but the other day I looked at him and he really wanted to know where I had heard the words I had spouted off at him… He wanted to know if someone had said them to me… I explained they had been said to me … many times over the years… “Wanna see my Penis?” …Sometimes they don’t ask first… and just assume you do…. and had been to most every girl I knew… and would be said to his daughter as well most likely… It was just part of being a girl in our society… right or wrong… it certainly wasn’t ideal… it was the reality.

We went to the park… out in the middle of the City… we do this often if it is not too hot to get some exercise and spend some time together as a family… (This is code for PokeMon Hunting)… We parked and walked around the several blocks long park enjoying the 80 degree weather… but severely disappointed in the lack of Pokemon… we had been there several times just like this… and spent hours there enjoying our “Family Time”… We buy a quick treat on the west side of the Duck Pond and Big Hill… and us adults cringe a little as we realize it is Sunday… Which means Drum Circle…. Which we affectionately refer to as Drug Circle… and try to not call attention to the obvious cloud of smoke and sounds coming from the hill…. and we talk over ice cream about how drugs are not okay… to three tuned out kiddos…We decide that the park day was just not what we thought it would be and we would head back home after about 40 minutes after leaving our vehicle… and rather that walk past the hill crowd we took the sidewalk back around the duck pond laughing about how before Pokemon go we would have thought just the walk and the weather and the ducks were the greatest thing ever… as we neared our car I saw her… someone younger than my adult daughter… but older than my small (17 year old) at least I think she was… She was most likely the age of my niece (who is the third kiddo with us today… 18 almost 19)…they all look so young to me now… they all are someone’s baby… she is sitting on the curb… one car from mine… with her head literally on the ground by the tires… she’s quite flexible… I am pretty sure her position is equal to putting her feet behind her head… and she is obviously under the influence of… well… god knows what…. I motion for Mr. Amazing to get in the car… because see in our society… because he has a penis… he cannot help this girl that is intoxicated… or small children if they are scared or hurt… because he just can’t right? …. he ushers the kids in and knew that I was going to make sure the girl was okay… this is not our first rodeo … infact… its pretty much a regular occurrence….We never just walk by and shake our heads at people in bad situations… not the homeless… not the mentally challenged or ill…. not anyone… and we certainly do not pull out our phones… and take pictures… or video…. People are never invisible to us…. essentially… I do not mind my own business…. ever.

“Hey… Hey… Are you okay? Can you get up?”

Half way through the sentence slurring of “some kind of friends I have… WHAT? Yeah… I’m okay”

“You dont look okay… get your head off the ground and let me look at you.”

She lifts her head and looks at me… she is completely wasted…. but her eyes are not dilated… I check her pulse… she is not pale or sweating or shaking…  She is not vomiting or complaining of any pain. I have seen at least 2 police patrols in the short time I have been there… I think I see one go by again now. I don’t really have an opinion about what goes on in Drug Circle on the HIll…. Because I only make choices for myself… and obviously I am choosing not to be there. That being said I see a ziplock bag with what is obviously Marijuana on the grass next to her and a wallet (a nice one actually) on the grass behind her “Is this yours? pick it up… right now… put it in your purse… I am not dealing with this shit just to make sure you are okay…. Do you want me to call someone for you? Who are you here with? Can I help you?”

“What do you got?”

“Nothing you consider ‘good'” besides… yours is still on the grass next to you… pick that shit up now” She does so as I move around her to get the wallet which seems much safer to pick up and hand her… I ask her again if she is okay… and she assures me she is… I tell her to be careful… and stop laying on the ground… as I move to my car to go… kind of chuckling to myself that my kids have witnessed this entire thing…. as I climb into the passenger seat… I spot the man… Id seen him when I approached her as well… but just assumed he was watching her curiously… he was still there… walking back and forth on the walk behind her… “Don’t leave yet” I mutter to Mr. Amazing… who nods as I point at the man who is to well groomed and clean to be hanging out at this stupid young drug circle…. the man keeps watching her and looking up at us to see if we are going to leave… his brazenness startles me a little… and I realize he knows the chance of this girl being awake or coherent enough is slim… and no one is going to call the police… because… drugs galore.

Suddenly a young man walks across from the hill and sits beside her on the curb… I get out of the car again… the girl has once again dumped the belongings of her purse (which is also quite nice… as are her clothes… and makeup… and hair… she isn’t without a home) is leaning on his shoulder…. losing some stupid clip in extension of hair in the process… which he graciously just picks up… and I approach again “Hey.” They both look up… out of the corner of my eye I see the man still pacing… closer now… and I am angry at this point. “Do you know this guy?” to the girl… motioning to the guy she is leaning on.

half way slurring into his face “do you have my shit?” she turns and faces me “No, I’ve never seen him before” The guy slaps his forehead… I roll my eyes… the girl smiles up at me idiotically and hugs my legs whispering to the guy “She’s got my back” The guy stands immediately knowing it looks bad for him… which is stupid… this girl is being completely… well…. inebriated. I point openly at the creeper waiting patiently for the girl to be left alone again… “This Prick over here is just waiting for her to pass out again… complete freak… I need to know who she is here with” They both look at the guy… who completely ignores this exchange but does not back off at all… infact he comes closer… it dawns on me maybe he is her pimp? but my gut tells me thats not the case… she is not on the streets… not yet… and this guy with her is actually in better shape that she is… soberish… not marks or scratches… clean clothes… well groomed… just young kids being complete dumb asses and making really stupid choices. The guy nods understanding and looks at the girl “You want me to get Haus?” seriously? haus? is that even a name? why are these people here … im angrier still… the man is closer still…. Mr Amazing informs me at this point he has a hand on the door and one on his phone…. “You have to take her with you”…

Girl who is probably really quite intelligent and well spoken but currently is completely dumber than a box of rocks “I don’t know him”

“What is her name?” I had picked up her wallet… seen her credit cards… student identification and such… and he tells me the correct name.

“You go with him over to the hill… or I get you help… I wont leave you here… this complete asshole is going to hurt you” again calling the man who is very close out loudly… and again… he does not change… or back off…. I am stunned by this as I realize… this is probably a regular thing for him… infact… I don’t smell alcohol on her and what has fallen out of her purse does not explain her condition… He could have slipped her whatever was… or not… as she loses another extension… and all the contents of her purse… again… as she falls trying to walk with the guy to the hill as I am telling him loudly that if he touches her and anyone touches her I will kick his ass…. this time a small jar of small smoky looking stones…. why oh why …. all these horrible decisions are still not a reason… I force her again to pick it all up … I again offer help… I do not call the police… People will surely think that was the right move… but my gut told me otherwise… the police were here… the police had driven by her… I wanted to call an ambulance… or a mom honestly… but I only had what I had to work with… I continue my tirade against her and the guy “You both look smarter than this… what the hell… get her help… dont leave her… keep her around people… do not touch her or let anyone else… ” switching the lecture to the girl “Do no drink or ingest another thing… get your ass home… this is so stupid… you could be hurt or worse… so stupid… you are better than this.” I walk them half way to the hill…. the man is following… the girl at this point is thanking me profusely and watching him over her shoulder… so is the guy… I still dont know if I have done the right thing… I dont know what was really going on… all I know is what would have been going on at that moment had we not come back to our car Pokemonless…. I glare at the man… Mr Amazing wants to call the police… I shake my head… for what… the man hasnt done anything wrong… yet… we watch as the two young people make it back to the Hill and the people and the drums… at least she is not alone… I dont know if she is any safer. I did the best I could do … I would be able to sleep at night with my decision….

I look back over my shoulder into the back seat at the two teens and Smallest girl sitting between them… “Thats why we dont do drugs”

We all kind of recap what has happened… and I realize… what will make me lose sleep…

The message to my son was clear…. Don’t do drugs… Don’t touch anyone who isn’t able to give consent… ever. This is not new … and honestly… he doesnt understand why someone would find that helpless girl kissing the concrete something to “rise to the occasion” about…. He does not get it. At All. I LOVE that about him. A Penis does not make one a Monster… It does not make you do anything or behave in any way at all… it is an appendage of your body. Not the ruler of your intelligent decision making ability. The conflicting message for him was…. simply because he had a penis… he would be treated that way… and that was something he was going to have to deal with… he couldnt help… he would be accused of thinking and wanting to do things that are below him. Not Ideal… but very Real

The messages to my girls were a little more disturbing…. If this girl had not done drugs… in this case… she would not be in the situation that was about to take place… that did not make the situation okay… that did not make it her fault… but I had to say the words… “Do not let yourself be in this situation… because this will happen”… and my feminist screamed at me…. but it was real. “She did not give that man permission to touch her… so if he did… and hurt her… it was not her fault… but if she could walk… or think clearly… he may not have approached her”… and part of me died a little… the part of me that had finally put some blame for things in my life on the appropriate people… because… I was where I shouldn’t have been… I looked again at my son and immediately put it right back where it belonged… for both me and the girl… you see… this wasn’t about a penis… and a girl is not just a hole for one… “The problem was the man… his brain wasnt wired right or something… he was scary and not okay”

Small girl will go through maturation this year… she is in fifth grade… unfortunately because of this… we will have to tell her what rape is…. as we explain the beauty of sex… our bodies… the amazing way they are wired to release stress… give affection… love… because she wants to know what that man wanted … why was he following that girl.

There is nothing wrong with your body… but keep it covered…

Its never your fault… but don’t be in places where that can happen

Men are strong and wonderful… unless you don’t know them… dont talk to them… get help if one smiles at you… No you don’t have to be grateful they said you’re pretty… no you don’t have to smile because they said to…. No… its not okay for them to show you their penis…

You can always call the police…. sigh… I don’t know how to explain this one even to you as I type it.

This was my experience today… I know women can be creepers… and men are assaulted as well… I am not making blanket statements…

I do not know the answer to my predicament… I don’t know what the right advice is to give to my girls… or my men.

I have to accept ideology vs reality. I can believe one thing…. but have to act against my core belief in order to keep people safe. I hate that.

How do you all deal with it? Really… what do you tell your children… your peers… Discuss… because I am at a complete loss… and how do we fix it.

 

I have never…

I have never written so little in my life…

I have never gone so long without blogging…

I have never been more sure that it will most likely continue for a while longer… or not… Im not really sure whats next… Today I am checking in…

I suppose that is better than checking out.

Here is a brief captioned visual run down of the last month

Sooo Let me digress slightly to let you know that Small Childs birthday was good... all he wanted was to spend time with Mr Amazing... and  we made it so.

Sooo Let me digress slightly to let you know that Small Childs birthday was good… all he wanted was to spend time with Mr Amazing… and we made it so.

These two... I seriously cannot even handle the emotion happening to my face right now...

These two… I seriously cannot even handle the emotion happening to my face right now…

That day in Park City though I had a weird thing happen... where I couldnt breath really well... and my eyes burned.... Two days later I woke up with Pink Eye

That day in Park City though I had a weird thing happen… where I couldn’t breathe really well… and my eyes burned…. Two days later I woke up with Pink Eye

It seemed like the appropriate way to celebrate the birth of Tall Childs GIRL!! A GIRL!! (a healthy crying one!)

It seemed like the appropriate way to celebrate the birth of Tall Childs GIRL!! A GIRL!! (a healthy crying one!)

She was greatly rejoiced and welcomed into the world by all her siblings... but not me... because.. Pink Eye

She was greatly rejoiced and welcomed into the world by all her siblings… but not me… because.. Pink Eye

The very next morning Mr Amazing left for Germany and Prague (Business Travel)

The very next morning Mr Amazing left for Germany and Prague (Business Travel)

He Humored me by taking selfies....

He Humored me by taking selfies….

Because two weeks is a long time to be gone from me.... He missed me...

Because two weeks is a long time to be gone from me…. He missed me…

Obviously

Obviously

Then shit hit the fan... Newest tiny addition got sick... very sick at just a few days old...

Then shit hit the fan… Newest tiny addition got sick… very sick at just a few days old…

After an ambulance ride and a horrible spinal tap... Meningitis was diagnosed... It was horrible.

After an ambulance ride and a horrible spinal tap… Meningitis was diagnosed… It was horrible.

But then she opened them!!! And it was all caused by a virus...

But then she opened them!!! And it was all caused by a virus…

A contagious virus

A contagious virus

Pause the drama for some of this... I loved the movie!!!

Pause the drama for some of this… I loved the movie!!!

So much so that because I was so sick I found time to paint finally

So much so that because I was so sick I found time to paint finally

Harley isnt done yet... I still need to crazy her up

Harley isnt done yet… I still need to crazy her up

Little Miss Thing got better slowly... She is three almost four weeks old now.

Little Miss Thing got better slowly… She is three almost four weeks old now.

My Eyes cleared up... Im still struggling with other symptoms... which is leading me to a Urologist who specializes in Oncology on Monday... Yeah... Mic Drop.

My Eyes cleared up… Im still struggling with other symptoms… which is leading me to a Urologist who specializes in Oncology on Monday… Yeah… Mic Drop.

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But until then... Ill continue wearing my R2D2 socks with my tardis dress to the office like I dont have a care in the world.

But until then… Ill continue wearing my R2D2 socks with my tardis dress to the office like I dont have a care in the world.

Zips still alive. Fini!

Zips still alive.
Fini!

On his 17th birthday…

These days… there are days I only see him for a meal on the run. He  works harder to get what he wants than anyone I know. He’s generous to a fault. He prefers his own company to mine — as does just about everyone — and likes his sister a lot more than he’s willing to admit.

Oh my dear small… you are one smart teenager. But as you enter your 17th year, on the 17th day of this month….here are 17 things I want you to know.

1. Life can turn on a dime.
You learned this in a way that I would never have wished for and I know you know that Nothing in life is guaranteed. But remember to Never take anything for granted. Be grateful and tell your loved ones you love them — every chance you get. I will always answer you when you say GoodNight.

2. Read The Economist every week.
Make knowing what’s going on in the world a priority.

3. Don’t hold a grudge.
There have been times when I’ve been slow to forgive… and I have destroyed some pretty important relationships…. You’ll learn over time that most things that may seem absolutely outrageous in the moment are quickly forgotten. Everyone makes mistakes. You make mistakes too. The worst thing you can be is judgmental.

4. It’s not uncool to have mom in your corner.
I will always be your number one fan (In a creepy way like that ankle hobbling chick from Stephen Kings Misery…. okay not that way) … We have had some times this year when you have really not counted me in on your plans… infact you straight up lied about plans… its okay to convince me that you are old enough to do something honestly…. it is okay to get my permission… its okay to check with me… anything you have to lie about isnt something you should be doing… Form an opinion… stand by it… convince me… this ability to disagree with people respectfully will get you far in life… and well… learning to do something against someones advice will also help… just make sure you are telling the truth

5. There’s nothing wrong with a Joint every once in awhile.
You will have oats… You will sow them… Sow them wildly. Next year… after your 18…. ha!

6. Always stay close with your sisters.
One day, they will be the only people who still remember your childhood. Ive harped on this a lot recently I know… but in our strange little family… they are all you will have when I am gone… Your nephews (and possibly soon niece) are going to need you… because they too will not have anyone to have a family reunion with… infact if your generation is going to keep any semblance of a family together… it will be on you.

7. Keep a journal.
You might think you’ll remember your favorite teachers, or who screamed like a girl during late night 5 nights at freddies…. but….Write things down. Take photos. Look back. It is important.

8. If someone tells you a secret, and asks you not to tell anyone, don’t.
Unless you should, then do. No friend is worth losing your integrity to. But all Friends deserve a secret or two kept.

9. Don’t build your worth on objects, but on experiences.
You can look around our house and tell that we’ve always valued children and vacations a lot more than nice furniture. And I’m so glad we did.

10. It is usually not about you.
As you grow older, don’t worry so much about looking a certain way. Most of the time, no one is paying attention. Really. People like to think everyone is focused on them but, in actuality, people are usually focused mostly on themselves. And if someone does something to you that’s hurtful, it’s almost certainly related to something going on in their life that has nothing to do with you. This goes for me as well… when I nag you about your eating habits… nutrition… social life… Im really saying that I hope you havent picked up on my bad habits.

11. If you need to go far, far away to pursue your dreams, then do it.
Don’t be afraid to take chances… Dont be so tied to your current plans that you dont alter them when there is an opportunity… Dont be so afraid of wasting that small college fund left by your dad… that you dont go and do the things your dad would have wanted you to do.

12. Be kind to those you meet on the way up because you may meet them again on the way down.
This is an old saying and you may find it silly. But it’s definitely true. Down the road, your behavior towards others will dictate how they behave towards you.

13. Practice the skills we’ve tried to teach you.
Before you go off Adulting on your own you must become more adept at cooking, cleaning and taking care of your finances. I know it’s a pain, but one day you’ll thank me. I think our recent adventures in a brand new adult in our home has taught you that much at least. Even if it stresses you out… charge things and pay them off… register your car… make a payment to a bank… trust me.

14. Modesty is very attractive.
A lot of moms and dads these days walk around telling their offspring how spectacular they are, and that they can do everything perfectly. As a result, many kids exude this sort of “I’m better than everyone else” self-confidence. And no doubt it’s nice to be self-confident. But being humble is what has  drawn others to you, and makes you stand out, much more than pounding on your chest ever will. I hope you do not lose that “drop in the ocean” mentality…. but I also hope that you know you are the entire ocean to some people…

15. Show up for important events.
Sometimes the last thing you want to do is spend the weekend at another family party with people that you like just fine… but are not really like us, or even a Saturday afternoon at your little sister’s recital, but it’s important you do. I’ve learned the hard way that failing to show up at a major event is one of the most common reasons relationships break down. Be there for others and they’ll be there for you.

16. Attitude is a small thing that makes a very big difference.
The older I get, the more convinced I am that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. Hanging around people who complain all the time brings you down. Being positive and thinking good thoughts will help make good things happen. Attitudes are contagious. I really believe that. Do not ever complain about things unless there are actions you can take to make them change…. as I have always said… I cannot complain about politics if I dont vote…. and ofcourse I will be voting this year… because good hell.

17. Wherever you end up in life, you will always have a home so long as I am alive.
It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, I will always love you like crazy.

So happy 17th birthday, you quiet, smart, handsome “Destiny” fanatic. I couldn’t be more proud.

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Down the Rabbit Hole….

So… as previously mentioned in multiple posts… I set off on the first of August on a new adventure… I quit my 15 year career… I since then have contracted and then was added to the payroll at another company… that pays me enough to stay comfortable… and I work only part time hours… I discussed at great length how this was going to free me up to follow all kinds of dreams and ambitions…. at the top of that list was writing… which I did quite a bit of in the beginning…. but seriously… as of late I have simply disappeared… I have done this time to time over the years of blogging… but never when I have had so much free time… I haven’t been writing at all recently… not on my blog… not on my other projects… and well… even though I don’t write for anyone other than myself… I feel like I am doing things wrong if I am not writing…. so let me write about what I have been doing instead…

Ive been cooking…. shut the fuck up… me cooking! Lots actually!

I have given up coffee (for the most part)… which is really one of the most defining characteristics of my personality… my love of coffee

I have gotten closer to my smalls… my tinys … and even Mr. Amazing.

I have done quite a bit of housework… but not as much as I should (seriously… not enough LOL)

I have lost 30 pounds… at least… I actually am going to weigh myself again today at the doctors… Its probably closer to 40 but I dont keep a scale here…

Just from not emotional binge eating…. cause I sure as shit haven’t been exercising… maybe that will come next…

I’ve joined a Meditation Circle/Book Club for spirituality. (Highly Recommend – Spiritual Growth – Being your higher self – By Sanaya Roman)

I’ve painted… my god… have I painted… infact its really the only reason I am blogging today… because I set some goals for my self to be able to escape into my paint room for the day… and that was to shower… clean up… pluck that overgrown chin hair… and write before I let myself go in there… So it is 7:45 am and here I am crossing that off my list… ha!

Let me show you some of what i’ve been working on…

I did this one for my small (now 16 year old) child - these are 4 by 4 block canvas and they were a lot of fun

I did this one for my small (now 16 year old) child – these are 4 by 4 block canvas and they were a lot of fun

This was my practice run for print transfer... I did it for my favorite red head on the planet

This was my practice run for print transfer… I did it for my favorite red head on the planet

This one was for smallest child... I told her I would add to it as she read more of the series

This one was for smallest child… I told her I would add to it as she read more of the series

Dis one was for my best friend... cause you know... we are mad LMAO

Dis one was for one of my closest friends… cause you know… we are mad LMAO

This is my Alice Set... I did this one for myself... these are 6 x 6 block canvas

This is my Alice Set… I did this one for myself… these are 6 x 6 block canvas

These were for my cute tinys

These were for my cute tinys

and last but not least…. the other day Small child was looking at pictures hung in the the hallway … and said “You’ve changed so much Kerry! Your hair used to be black and short and curly… now its lighter and all kinds of colors and soooo long and straight… and your face… its smaller too!”

So here is my smaller face in bed as I type this… ha! because seriously… like im gonna get dressed before I paint!

(Im putting it down here because no one ever really reads to the end…. right?)

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