I Double Dog Dare You…. then Link Up!

Writing Prompt :A Time I Was TrickedDescribe a time you made things…awkward.




There is SOOOOO much material to choose from!!! I decided to go to my very oldest Cohort… Mind you … we have been cohorting since we were 12… there is a history here (see how she got here nickname)…  I dare you to ask your best friend! or child… or S/O… I hope you have as many good stories as I do. If you do it… share it… post the link in my comments!

Phone Junk 2012 3328

Click the image to see the time she and I put on the Blogess’s Dress… I love this woman!

Me: Sooo I need an example of a time I made things awkward…
Cookie Wife:In a crowd or just a personal experience?
Me: I guess there is a large selection? either… for a blog post
Cookie Wife: The several years you hinted towards a threesome in mixed company;
Me: Rotflmao!!! Oh That… That is simply to get a reaction
Cookie Wife: ummmm.. setting me up with <Name removed for obvious reasons> (the other dates weren’t awkward, just disastrous, Or just good stories to tell later on!)
Me: Too Funny!!! like the time I was Drunk and trying out <Name removed for obvious reasons> waterbed with you guys… Yes… that is awkward <I feel it is important to notate I was divorced and ALL clothing was on and it was a giggle fest not some sex pot>
Cookie Wife: I’ve blocked that out. How about… Every party that your parents are there…That’s awkward.
Me: Rotflmao!!! why???
Cookie Wife: Oh you know, we vent about our parents and the crap they do… then we have to smile and pretend we don’t know anything.
Me: bahahahahaha
Cookie Wife: Ummm.. being in the room when you’re cheeky with Mr Amazing
Me: BAHAHAH! When am I cheeky?
Cookie Wife: ALL THE TIME!!
Me: Well… he is cute… I try to make out with him in public as often as possible
Cookie Wife: And I’m over here like: A guy smiled at me today.
Me: I smile at you everyday!
Cookie Wife:  So the guy is really cute! And he didn’t have a ring! … incentive to get to the gym every morning!
Me: Want me to come make it awkward for you?
Cookie Wife: Noooooooooooooo!!!! That reminds me… Ice Skating!! That was awkward
Me: OMG! Seriously… I had a crush on that guy and I was married <insert note here about being married at 19 to someone no where near my age…> I needed you to take him off my hands… Its your JOB!
Cookie Wife: Typical you pawning them off on me…
Me: Ice Skating Guy was hot!
Cookie Wife: That one time you sent me a Jesus pic… that was awkward.
Me: That was AWESOME! Cause you always sent me coffee and wine pictures!
Cookie Wife : Because I can’t use them anymore! :( <Insert note here about how I recently was SO supportive about her becoming all religious like>
Me: Well… I can’t use Jesus
I need a section on my blog titled “I Couldn’t Make This Shit Up”

Frozen: Letting Go

I know.. .I know! Believe me I know that I shouldn’t waste my time getting drawn into this… I know that it is energy spent on something that shouldn’t be given… I read it yesterday… much like everyone else I would assume… and at first I laughed… Then my irritation grew… and as the day wore on I just couldn’t shake it… the words had settled in my skin… and my least favorite feeling in this myriad of emotions I go through is shame… I was ashamed of my friend who shared it on Facebook voicing her agreement (this is how I came across it to begin with, before it was ever picked up by the local media) … I was embarrassed to be living in Utah… where not only is this popular opinion but it was picked up by the media… Every fiber was annoyed… by the name of the blog… and every hateful word typed out… I am not going to counter her opinions… I just figured I would do a little review and opinionating of my own…. you know… from a well behaved person that has not lost her ever loving mind to hate and paranoia.

Frozen: Letting Go

Let me paraphrase… The movie opens with these two adorable sisters… laughing and playing in the snow and ice created by the eldest Elsa … Surely this is dark magic right? Sorcery? Witchcraft? don’t you worry… its a Disney Movie… and its JUST A STORY…  I saw it five times… Its full of dark magic and sorcery… and death… and treason… trolls who adopt the poor guy with apparently poor personal hygiene  being raised by a reindeer… but the poor guy with the Swedish accent it surely the problem… Oh that and the fact that the girl… who DOESN’T FEEL THE COLD takes of her repressive cape that she had to wear for a coronation is being considered to sex it up… hey hey… who am I to judge… I’m sure the people taking issue with this also wear these swim suits… and I’m cool with that…


My favorite part of the movie is the Let it Go sequence… as I am sure anyone with a 7 year old knows… it is catchy… and dramatic… and the graphics are beautiful… and everyone is covering it!! (See my Themesong Thursday Post)

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I’m the Queen.

Queen of isolation… I get that… Trapped by expectations

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried

Storm inside… raging emotions… Okay, I don’t have snow flakes sprinkling from my fingertips… but I am relating to this chic.

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know

Ahhh sweet sweet emancipation… from worrying about what others think of me… from judgement… and cruel words.

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door

I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway

It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all

It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free

Freedom from fear… self confidence… self discovery… Fantastic!

Let it go, let it go

Let go of the negative… hey smallest child… I hope you memorize each and every word of it!

I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry

Ha ha! okay okay… crying is okay… even if people see it… but not “You” not the people that I am letting go of… not the people that wanted me to be someone I am not

Sing sing sing… lots more words… storm rages on… etc

You get the idea… I take absolutely no offense to someone shedding what was forced upon them and coming to their own opinions, aspirations, dreams and I will cheer on my children whether it is at their graduation from college… or a pole dancing competition (please please let it not be pole dancing… so awkward)


and so… in conclusion… if you have to take some moral to what is really just an awesome story with fantastic music and stunning visuals… take this… Love is unconditional… Sisters before Misters…. also… reindeer raise gentlemen… Braids are sexy and trolls are love experts…. That is all

SO someone needs to explain to me how she gets from cryokinetic power to same-sex attraction?


OH! and someone better tell their kids… whether oaken likes men or not (which I don’t understand why that is relevant when he is just selling some damn carrots) that a Swedish accent isn’t required for someone to be gay… they can choose that for themselves… and they will be accepted and loved and keep their voice :)


The Cookie Wife…

mama kats Share a Fall recipe that you’re loving this season.
Soooo I don’t really cook… or bake… But I do love me some fall recipes… So let me let you in on a little secret I have… It’s kind of a magical thing…. I live in Utah… Where not only do plural marriages have a reputation of being practiced… but some of the best baking happens! So I did the only logical thing I could do …. I took a cookie wife! You heard me right!


me:  <Yawn/stretch/puts an arm over her shoulder move/Drops Recipe in lap>

Cookie Wife:  Aren’t you hilarious???

me:  Smoooooth… I believe the word you were looking for is smooth

Cookie Wife:  Or subtle…

me:  Bahahaha!

Cookie Wife:  Guess what is the best thing ever??

me: ??

Cookie Wife:  Maple blueberry sausage!!! I’ll bet I could make it just as yummy with ground turkey!

me: MMMMMMMMMMMMMM I wanna eat it all!

Cookie Wife:  I made blueberry pancakes, maple blueberry sausage, crock pot hash brown scrambled eggs & juice & milk.

me:  … Small Child ate at school … I ate a leftover taco time bean burrito.




Meet the tallest :)

I don’t write often about Tallest Child… Because she is all growed up… and out on her own with the tiniest of all child… cooking another one in her belly!

But this weeks writing prompt only could be dedicated to her… because well… ha! she was freaking stuck!!

mama kats

 “A time somebody got stuck”


This is my baby girl… My daughter… and if you have been reading for a while her stories are intertwined with mine through out… I write about her on Mothers Day cause I’m her mama dammit! I shared my angels girls story of her angel… (with her permission) … because I was so proud of her… She brings me joy … She is part of every humorous story I share about small child growing up in fact… she was a key part to smiffbib even being created… I’m sure there are a million more tall child stories on here… but I’ve linked in a lot if you want some history on this beautiful woman pictured above… My god I love her… and how we show our love? By embarrassing the shit out of her!

“A time somebody got stuck”

She was standing on the stairs that went upstairs, I was standing in the kitchen below her in a Romeo and Juliet almost moment… I say almost because we aren’t Romeo and Juliet… and then… without really understanding why… she decided to shove her knee into the metal bars of the banister… you know… to see if it fit…. She stood there nonchalantly for a moment… trying to slide it back out… but after a few minutes began to panic… We (The smalls father and I) took a few minutes to laugh hysterically… trying to push her … and pull her knee… before I began to panic!… I start thinking the fire department is going to have to come and cut her out of this thing… when the father type figure had a genius idea…. Butter! you should use butter to get out of these kinds of things… and I run to the fridge…. no butter…. BUT! we own butter flavored Pam… which is really the same thing… sprayed her knee… and rescued her from its clutches…Never to be lived down again…

heatherandbabyPsst… Tallest Child… you know about the mothers curse right?.. those Tinys are gonna make for some great stories!!!

… in my neck of the woods.

Spring  Sming … I’m not convinced it exists… it has been cold… and snowing still off and on … With just a dash of sunshiney days to keep us from going all “The Shining” on each other… so before I wrote a post complaining and moaning the woes of the winter that just won’t end… I jumped on my local news page to check the weather… because I am a good blogger… who takes her prompts seriously and never gets distracted off the topic… WTF is this???


Soooooo here is the discussion that spawned…

Tolman:  I’m such a grammar/spelling snob…. *Loses *losing

 me:  BAHAHA! Yes! That is sad honestly … They are supposed to be professionals

Tolman:  Good on that woman though! I should take up pole dancing!!!

me:  Uhhh Somehow… I just know that’s how I would die…. Death by Pole Dancing to lose weight… you know it is true… I would fall on my head

Tolman: HAhahaahahaa!! Oh come on!!

me:  You know its true… Broken Neck… From pole dancing

Tolman: It would make for a VERY interesting obituary!!!! Probably go viral!!!

me:  Great! I will finally be discovered when I am dead

In conclusion… This is what Spring looks like in my neck of the woods…. and I am finally going to be discovered!!!

Inspired by

mama kats


Humble and Grateful

We’re going around the table and it’s your turn to share what you are thankful for…go!

  • the fact that I’ve been given some bit of awareness… of spiritual awakeness
  • my humor … twisted and sick as it is.
  • my friends … Everyone says this… but in all honesty… My friends are magic… They are like the cast to a B sci-fi movie… and I truly love them with all of my heart
  • my family … All of them, The smalls, and the distant
  • my husband … Mr. Amazing
  • whatever talent I have as a writer that perhaps lets me help a few people
  • the opportunity to experience life from this vantage … it is unique
  • the insane overabundant beauty of nature … especially the rain and the moon.
  • a roof over my head and food on my table
  • an inquisitive mind that is easily amused and delighted
  • my surrogate family… with whom I spend many holidays … including this upcoming Thanksgiving
  • my love of music of almost all types… (except Country music  which makes me want to stab my eyes with a fork) …which entertains me … and often… brings me happiness.
  • you … whomever you are… however you got here… today as I type this… I am so grateful for you.

Your Turn … What are you thankful for? … Pass the wine!