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I’ve never even had a rose ceremony!?!?!

mama kats Welcome to the most shocking rose ceremony in writing prompt history.

Please award roses to the ten people (or items) in your life that you’d like to continue pursuing a relationship with.

In no particular order and without further ado…

single red rose

1 – I could fill half of this list with just those who reside in my home… But I am feeling the need to dig deep and really take a personal inventory of that which I am grateful for in my life… That being said… Those in my home deserve mention… Mr Amazing is the love of my life… He is my best friend… and I love him so hard. Small Child (not so small) continues to amaze me daily with his bright charismatic self…. He is the greatest thing that has ever happened to my life… and I can not express the gratitude I have for him… I admire him so much. Smallest Child (Ms SassyPants) is the latest breath of fresh air into my existence… we have really stepped up our StepParent/StepChild game… and I have loved every minute of it… She is so clever… and I am honored to be part of her upbringing…. So that is a Rose for my little Family. (With an honorable mention for Tall Child and her three Tinies!)

FamilyOh My Gosh!

2- Betty Perea – This woman has brought more joy to my life than I can express… She has given more wisdom…invited palpable spirit…  inspired more crazy… and driven more motivation than I can explain… I love her… She teaches humility and gratitude without even saying a word… She is wild and funny… you never know what she is going to say next… She thrives off of keeping people on their toes and she has been the greatest mother like friend I have ever known… She brings a different perspective to the table… and I love her mysticism, skepticism, and superstitions. She gave me my love of coffee and mexican food.   A Rose to my old soul (With an honorable mention to her children, who I love beyond measure)

Betty and Boys

3- Tolman – I have known this chicka forever! She is my Cookie Wife.. My Soul Sister… My Co Parent (for her smalls and mine :))… She goes on all my crazy adventures with me… She wore the Bloggess’s Red Dress with me… We’ve been through marriages and divorces with each other… we have laughed as well as cried the hardest in our lives in front of each other… we are linked by a special energy that is thicker than blood… She is the cheese in my enchilada :) A rose for her… with all the thorns cut off… because just once something beautiful should come to her without the trials. (I would make it rain roses on her beautiful babies who I treat like my own)

Tolman

4 – The Fluffinator! My Stef! My favorite heavy metal loving animal enthusiast teenage rearing sexy beast on the planet… She is my escape… She is my safe place… she is my cohort on adventures that we are way too old to take… She is down to earth… a fantastic mother… she is beautiful… has a passion for purple and a strength like no one else I have ever met. She is so intelligent and she has the biggest heart! She is always up to something fun and most nights seem to end with fireworks and alcohol when we are together.  Raising our two boys together has been amazing… we call each other for advice… to vent… and to discuss anything supernatural. I do not know how I lucked into her entering my life but I am grateful for it every day…. Small Child (not so small) will always think of her as his other mother… She is my back up mom… and I miss her! Roses all around… (honorable mention to her crazy kiddos who I freaking love like crazy)

Stef

5 – Michelle – She is actually my cousin.. I mean that is how we met… but she became my friend in our adult lives… She has more integrity and acceptance in her little finger than I could ever hope to achieve… She is funny… She is talented… She is a great mom.. and has always always been there for me… no matter what I have needed. She is so kind… and when someone starts gossiping or being negative she is the first one to shut it down. She is always willing to try new things and lets me just be me. Our kids have trick or treated together every year for as long as I can remember… Eventually we are going to have to find someone else to steal candy from! –  A Rose

 

Halloween

6 – Danielle – There is a story behind Danielle.. She is a close friend of mine’s daughter… a few years ago… We lost her mother… It was heartbreaking. From this came something wondrous and miraculous into my life however… This stunningly brilliant young woman… she is amazing… my children worship the ground she walks upon… and we would gladly just keep her forever… She has this awesome throaty laugh that reminds my of her beautiful mothers laugh… and I cannot imagine our lives without her in it… She is the s’more master… the butt toucher… the ceiling walker… and the best kind of big sister  figure on the planet for my smalls… She will always always have a home to come too and a family who loves her…. (honorable mention to her brother who I love and have great hopes for)-A Rose.

Danielle

7- Enough with all the estrogen! Lets give some Testosterone some attention – My Christian! This guy has been my friend for 18 years now… I have watched him grow up… and he has watched me mature (see how delicately I handled the age difference?) He is my hot cuban mess… and he is the greatest thing since sliced bread… I love him so much… he is so well spoken.. he passion for history is contagious… his love for family is admirable… I have told him things I could never tell another soul on the planet and knew he would tell me how stupid I was when I needed him to… he would also tell me how loved I was when I needed him to… I love to discuss philosophy and politics with him… and I love that no matter how much time passes… when we hit rock bottom… repeatedly… respectively… we will always have a friend within each other to lean on and shoulder to cry on. I am a better person because of him. – A Rose

Christian

8- This Guy… If you know me… you know why – Zip the Wonder Dog – A Rose to you my buddy… you did it! I remember pleading with you when you were hit by the car to just live long enough to get him through the divorce… then again when he lost his dad … to stick around long enough to get him by… he couldn’t lose so much at once.. but you just keep ticking… Please… just get him through High School… You are the most constant thing in his life and we love you. (Honorable mention to the cat…  Shadow Cat… I remember the day I brought you home to my very scared and sad little family… you were enough of a distraction to get through the first days of some very hard realities… and for that I am grateful… You tolerate us.)

 

ZipZipShadow

9 – Now,.. The Prompt did mention items… and I cannot forget this little beauty I am typing this away on…My cute little purple coated macbook air. I am sorry I neglect you… I am sorry I never update you… I let your battery die… you collect dust. You are the tool of my creativity and I have slept snuggled up to you more often that I care to admit…. A Rose.

IMG_3249

10 – Myself… I am taking the easy way out… I have the most amazing list of people I should have included… I have nieces and nephews who I adore… such an awesome list quirky  life long friends… Family… But the truth is there was a time in my life I didn’t have any of you… and Depression worked rather determinedly to keep it that way… But this awesome woman never gave up… she never forgot that depression was lying to her… she worked her ass off… as a parent.. as an employee… as an artist… as an individual with a different way of seeing and doing things… and I would very much like to apologize to her for the abuse she has endured at my own hand… from my own stupid decisions.. and I would like to thank her for hanging in there… despite it all … and being such a bad ass. I’m funny… Smart… and my cleverness is overflowing. I kinda like me. Thanks to everyone who loved me enough for both of us on the days I cant love myself. – A Rose

Kerry

A soul set fire

The Year Twenty Fifteen started like this…. 2015 <– this is a link… it will open in a separate window should you care to read it or here it is paraphrased… I would call that a resolution… a resolution to write more.

I did some serious soul searching in 2015… I took that resolution seriously…I have a story inside of me and I am going to write it.

I QUIT MY JOB of 15 years…. I did that thing! So that I could find balance… so that I could write.

Mr Amazing supported me through it… My Small (who is not so small) encouraged me… asked me how it was coming… Had I written or blogged?

You know… Life is full of ironies… Just as I had cleared the path for myself to really dig in and be who I always wanted to be…. to write:

I painted instead…

I travelled to San Diego… and San Francisco

I caught up with friends

I caught up with my smalls

I cooked… I did really

I colored in those trending Zentangle coloring books… a lot

The Force is Strong with this one

The Force is Strong with this one

and yet… once again… I have this darling husband that has renewed my blog/domain… so that it is here… when I am in the mood.

So as I enter 2016 with my life going completely different than I had planned it… working in an office only enough to get by…  leaving myself plenty of creative time… I can’t help but marvel at the things I have done… even if they are not what I set out to do.

I am in awe of the happiness I have found.

I am excited for the adventures that will come next… I am feeling quite recharged… Unlike my laptop… who had collected some dust and was dead when this morning I decided I should capture the silence of an empty house (Before the not so small wakes up, sleeping in enjoying his winter break… and before my step small arrives in all her glory… loud loud glory… constantly singing taylor swift at the top of her lungs… cackling like a witch from The Haunting Hour…. and achieving every ballet pose ever learned at an alarming rate of speed… from her other home) WANT TO SEE OUR FAMILY PHOTOS?!?! BAHAHAHA!

Sad little neglected cute purple laptop

Sad little neglected cute purple laptop

And so… My Resolutions for 2016 are not to lose ten pounds (Although it should be)… Or to eat only organic (although that too would be good)… or to drink less (I dont think I could possibly drink any less… ha ha I am not really a drinker)…  it is simply this….

be-fearless-in-the-pursuit-of-what-sets-your-soul-on-fire

A Giant Shout Out to MamaKats! Without her prompts I am not sure I would remember to write at all…… I chose the fifth prompt this week “Look back at the resolution you made last year at this time, how did you do?” Go grab a prompt of your own… and do all the things!

mama kats

I am still here… just not right here.

Ive been all over actually… I posted that I was sick as an explanation for my lack of posts… and I packed up all my prescriptions like a dying person and flew to the bay…. It was awesome… I would site see in the mornings… sleep and be ill in the afternoons…. and be rested up again to go out to dinner with Mr. Amazing as he finished his day at the conference he was attending…. It was my first trip away from the smalls… that was not a working trip myself… and even though I was sick… I didn’t stay put… I drove through tunnels and over bridges and had a fantastic time…

Bridge Trolley Tea

Upon returning home I decided… impromptu…  to do some family photos! Here is my favorite…. Tall Child… Small Child… Smallest Child… Tiny Children 1 2 and 3

AllTheKiddos I am pretty sure they could not be any cuter.

And I finished my Christmas Painting Project!

I wanted to replace all the artwork in my living room with Christmas Artwork… I couldn’t afford to go out purchasing new artwork… So I PAINTED THEM!

Cause… well… I fucking rock

IMG_2561Holiday

And that my friends… is why I am not blogging…. But I did get the text from Mr.Amazing that he once again renewed my beautiful domain this last week… and well… seeing as how I lived through the round of antibiotics… I suppose I will need to come up with something to write about again.

 

 

Dear Son…

It’s so fucking hard to believe you’re turning 16 today.

Apparently… when I blinked, your little blond mancub self… who used to spend hours catching grasshoppers and swimming and music has grown into a tall…kind.. thoughtful…  smart teenager who loves games and girls…

I know this journey hasn’t been easy.

I know your dad and I (especially I!) have made mistakes… but we have done our best… I promise to continue to do so.

It’s not easy figuring out what should be said and done and those words that should remain unsaid and the actions that should remain undone.

Because sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to stay back and let the lesson teach itself… I am so sorry about your dad not being here.

There have been a couple of close calls–a few times I felt my heart in my throat.

When you chased your sister and her friends around the block… with myself and some neighbor lady trying to catch you… when you got past the dead bolt for the first time… when the lump formed on your neck… and later when they wheeled you away to surgery to remove it….when you broke your leg… when the scuba gear sank you like a lead weight…. when your dad died…

Sometimes, it’s hard to tell you what I want you to know. Many times… we don’t see eye-to-eye. Sometimes…  I don’t do well when I’m put on the spot. Sometimes (most times),  I do better in writing. So here goes.

I know you think you have it figured out. Life, I mean.

And in many ways, you do. You get good grades, you get along with your peers, you love music and your viola,. You feel things deeply… and injustice bothers you.

These are all attributes that make me proud of you.

Please–never fail to listen when somebody older and wiser tries to give you advice… Let the BFG offer to help with math…  You don’t always have to take it (many times you shouldn’t!), but listen to those who care enough to try to help.

In just a few years, you’ll be going off to college– Now you are driving without me… making decisions on your own.

I’m not worried about that. Well shit…  I do worry a little, but I think you’ll be fine.

Your moral standards will hold. I know it may sound cliché but I’m going to say it anyway…  follow your heart. Follow your conscience. It’s kept you kind and compassionate.

One thing I do worry about: I want you to make time for friends. I know you are introverted and it’s easier to stay by yourself … but you have so much to offer others: your sense of humor…  your knowledge of current events… your integrity…  your wit. You’re so funny!

Please, don’t sell yourself short. Shoot for the stars! Set high goals. It’s okay to not always succeed — sometimes falling is part of the process. Don’t let yourself get discouraged. Sometimes, you’ll get told “No.” Even though it stings, it’s not the end of the world. If it’s important to you, keep trying…don’t let one person (or opportunity) hold you back. Never let YOU be the one to hold yourself back.

When you do win…know you deserved it. Nobody can say you didn’t.

I’m your mom, and I love you more than I can say… more than there are words to write…and I can’t wait to see how you’re going to shake up this world of ours.

It’s going to be beautiful.

You are My Sunshine...

You are My Sunshine…

 

 

2015

Well… The New Year brought me something a little unexpected… unexpected because I forgot about it… It brought me a several hundred dollar charge to my bank account… One not budgeted and one I am going to have to tighten the belt on our budget to cover… for something that I seemed to have lost my passion for… for something that had become an after thought… it started to feel like a task… and nobody cared if I did it or not… and I discovered other ways to keep my head from imploding with all the words I pour out here… Yes… Here… Smiffbib.com… My Domain renewed for another 3 years automatically… 3 Years! Can you believe it? I have been writing here for 3 years… I sat and thought for a few moments about what I had accomplished here… and the resounding answer was… NOT A DAMN THING!… and I chuckled to myself because… well… what did I ever hope to accomplish here… this blog is like that seinfeld comedy show… it is about nothing… and I never hoped to accomplish anything more than that… Well… That much was a success…. What has the last 3 years brought me… My new husband (Mr. Amazing) bought me Smiffbib as a gift… we have been through some of the most amazing adventures… trials… illnesses… deaths… all of those thoughts and been poured out into here… hidden in the craziest stories… silly pictures… one self discovery after another… all of the smalls milestones … every fear… every dark corner of depression… every broken thought… Pictures of Disneyland… screams of frustration at the tea party passing bills about my vagina… buried my first grandchild… my exhusband/sons father… and others so close to me…

One day I am going to write something so life changing that people will quote me… they will say Smiffbib and people will know what that means… Or not.

Last year at this time I thought I would be somewhere completely different than I am now… and that was my resolution.

Did you know how far you can come inside yourself without any external changes? Did you know how much you could be okay inside yourself no matter what kind of chaos is carrying on around you?

I have no idea what this new year will bring… none… I have no idea where I will be the next time this domain is up for renewal… I hope I have as much to say about them as I have this last three… Mr. Amazing just called me from the office.. He transferred the money into my bank account… he told me to stop worrying… I could keep Smiffbib… so I suppose I will have somewhere to record them all…

Soooo... I guess it is time to get out of this bed... and begin the new year.

Soooo… I guess it is time to get out of this bed… and begin the new year.

Shout out to my favorite writing group of all time… and Kats prompt for getting me all resolutiony today… I have written 464 posts… here is to another couple hundred more.

mama kats

I love it when he talks dirty to me…

Chat :)

 me:  I am buying “King Sized” Muffin tins on amazon… that is all… Imma make all kinds of stuff in those things… I found more ideas… some include yummy dinner things

 

Mr. Amazing:  lol dinner muffins

 

me:  Mini Meatloafs dude! Its gonna happen (Those are words I never ever thought I would say… ever… I have made it a point to NEVER make meatloaf)

 

Mr. Amazing:  Ugh

 

me:  But actually… I was thinking this little taco recipe… LOL and there are other things… chicken bakes… etc.

 

Mr. Amazing: tacos and muffins – seems suspicious

 

me:  Bahahaha Just go with it… im cooking shit… its a miracle

 

Mr. Amazing: I was more thinking that with all of this talk about tacos and muffins…

 

me:  What!.. what ya gonna say? LOLOLOL!

 

Mr. Amazing:  Urban Dictionary … that is all

 

me:  BAHAHAHA!

 

Mr. Amazing:Any number of possibly insulting, more than likely crude, nsfw and otherwise inappropriate comments may ensue (that would be a hilarious tagline for smiffbib)

 

me:  YES! Yes it would!

Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO

I totally made these btw. My Cookie Wife would be so proud!!!

9 Grain Bread, Cage Free Brown Eggs, Swiss Cheese, and Turkey Bacon.

9 Grain Bread, Cage Free Brown Eggs, Swiss Cheese, and Turkey Bacon.

 

Fucking discouraged.

1898274_685281734843867_1557387288_n

I know I shouldn’t be… I do not write this for anyone but myself… But I recently got some really great news about promoting my blog… and it ended up not working out… because I say fuck… a lot… and it isn’t very professional… and while I completely and totally respect the person and their decision … I do… I understand it completely… I work in Marketing for a huge company… I do all their socially media… I consult for other companies… I get it… I would not promote my own blog either through any professional venue… I still am having a hard time wanting to invest anytime in blogging on this blog this week… And well.. the truth is… I don’t have to. That is the benefit of not accepting advertisement… or promoting any product other than my own hilarity and quirky stories… I just had to say it out loud (or type it I suppose) … I can be serious people… I can be professional…

2014-03-08 08.00.00See… this is my serious face

But I guess the truth is… I don’t really need to promote my blog… I do not write on here for money… I do not write on here for any reason other than my head might explode if I don’t have somewhere to write… and I guess I got caught up in the fact that I got readers.. and followers… and thought it would be fun to have more…

Why?

I have the best ones already!!

Thanks for reading … even though I say fuck :)

2014-03-08 18.43.11

 

 

 

 

Death of the Stache

mama katsCapture a conversation shared between kids.

I am cheating… lets just get that out of the way right now… because there is a conversation that happened tonight … between Small Child and Mr. Amazing (Who I understand technically is not a  kid… but he plays video games… and makes up song lyrics about pooping… and twerks … so I rest my case) … and I am going to have to paraphrase a bit… even though this took place only an hour and a half ago… memories get sketchy under great duress… so you get the following

Mr Amazing: Dude, that stache has got to go… Like tonight… I can’t let you go to school again with that on your face… I will get one of your moms razors and some soap and do it if I have too

Small Child: REALLY? Because she won’t let me shave!!

Me: <Nothing because I am DYING INSIDE>

Mr Amazing: He needs to shave it tonight

Small Child: I’ll get the shaving kit!

Tall child gave him this as a gift when he was 12 much to his delight, and much to my dismay, which I promptly took away and “hid” in the top of the hall closet, apparently not fooling anyone because he got it right away

Mr Amazing: You have to charge it first

Small Child flips the switch and it buzz’s to life… assholes.

Mr Amazing: Curl your lip like this and go up and down over it until you get all the hair off

Small Child: Does it hurt?

Mr Amazing: No, its just like getting a hair cut

Small Child: I’m Nervous!

He walks into the bathroom, does the weird poke his lip out wrapping it around his teeth face at the mirror and begins BUTCHERING my very SOUL… I hear the hair cutting from his face… that I had been properly ignoring for the last 30 days or so… as the “peach fuzz” turned  brown and no matter how many times I told him to wash his face it just wouldn’t come off

Mr Amazing: You missed a spot!!

Small Child: Did I get it?

Mr Amazing: Hold still … gimme that…

Small Child: I got this!

More buzzing

Mr Amazing: There! Looks much better!

Small Child: Can I use aftershave

AFTER SHAVE??? HE HAS AFTER SHAVE??? Apparently he does! Because he comes back all man smelling.

Me: We are celebrating this manhood with Gingerbread shakes!

Translation: Im eating my feelings… with a Gingerbread Shake!

THE END (of my story, and the conversation, and my sanity and HIS CHILDHOOD! Dammit)

Stach

Meet the tallest :)

I don’t write often about Tallest Child… Because she is all growed up… and out on her own with the tiniest of all child… cooking another one in her belly!

But this weeks writing prompt only could be dedicated to her… because well… ha! she was freaking stuck!!

mama kats

 “A time somebody got stuck”

Heather

This is my baby girl… My daughter… and if you have been reading for a while her stories are intertwined with mine through out… I write about her on Mothers Day cause I’m her mama dammit! I shared my angels girls story of her angel… (with her permission) … because I was so proud of her… She brings me joy … She is part of every humorous story I share about small child growing up in fact… she was a key part to smiffbib even being created… I’m sure there are a million more tall child stories on here… but I’ve linked in a lot if you want some history on this beautiful woman pictured above… My god I love her… and how we show our love? By embarrassing the shit out of her!

“A time somebody got stuck”

She was standing on the stairs that went upstairs, I was standing in the kitchen below her in a Romeo and Juliet almost moment… I say almost because we aren’t Romeo and Juliet… and then… without really understanding why… she decided to shove her knee into the metal bars of the banister… you know… to see if it fit…. She stood there nonchalantly for a moment… trying to slide it back out… but after a few minutes began to panic… We (The smalls father and I) took a few minutes to laugh hysterically… trying to push her … and pull her knee… before I began to panic!… I start thinking the fire department is going to have to come and cut her out of this thing… when the father type figure had a genius idea…. Butter! you should use butter to get out of these kinds of things… and I run to the fridge…. no butter…. BUT! we own butter flavored Pam… which is really the same thing… sprayed her knee… and rescued her from its clutches…Never to be lived down again…

heatherandbabyPsst… Tallest Child… you know about the mothers curse right?.. those Tinys are gonna make for some great stories!!!