Articles

Sep 07 2021

Time… It kept going… and now it is September… again

Author: Kerry

I researched the average span of an apocalypse in dystopian novels… if it were zombies-100 days… Well… we are past that… so I guess those guys aren’t REALLY zombies…. the average length is 10-12 years. We are still at the beginning guys…

Globally, as of 7 September 2021, there have been 221,134,742 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 4,574,089 deaths, reported to WHO. As of 6 September 2021, a total of 5,352,927,296 vaccine doses have been administered.

I don’t know what to say about that… Ive been to the office a few times… but most days am still remote… due to the air quality and the hybrid schedule… I got my booster on the 27th of August

(because I am a tiny bit of cancer surviving autoimmune super hero) – so there is that. We are trying to be as safe as we know how… We have sent the smallest child back to school… high school in person even… she is vaccinated and masked (at least for as long as we see her) … The tinies are also in school again… and now I just find myself holding my breath… and waiting… waiting to see what more we can do….

I hold my newest youngest tiny close as he grows… born in this pandemic and thriving….

and I hold my breath and I wait some more… for anything to give… I am scared… so scared… I worry for those I love… for those I don’t… for all of us. 1 week from today I will reach the 48th anniversary of my entrance to this planet… I never thought I would live this long… to see all of this… I intend to see more. I watched the Afghanistan war begin… and 20 years later end… We will mark the 20th anniversary of 9-11 in four days…. all of those lives snuffed out…. yet we lose almost as many daily now…. I will march for Women on Oct 2nd (march might be symbolic as my legs do not really work well) …. DAMMIT I SURVIVED TRUMP!!! something has got to give…. anything….

and so I paint… and record as we near the 2nd year mark of this very long apocalypse

May 13 2021

This house is clean…

Author: Kerry

Globally, as of 13 May 2021, there have been 160,074,267 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 3,325,260 deaths, reported to WHO. As of 12 May 2021, a total of 1,264,164,553 vaccine doses have been administered.

A day worth noting… I literally think that my miss b was most likely the first 12+ person to get vaccinated… she was being driven to get it as the Governor of our state announced its availability … That’s because I was refreshing the scheduling page like a woman who’s life depended on it… oh wait… I am a woman whos life depends on it.

I am SO PROUD of her…. so proud of us…. so grateful. One more shot to go for her… and we will be on our way to life outside again. I seriously cannot express how thankful I am to all the scientists… healthcare workers… teachers…. but today? this kid is my hero!!!

We have a lot going on in the house right now… but I will just leave this post as a pandemic record…. This house is clean.

Mar 30 2021

Impending Doom

Author: Kerry

Globally, as of 30 March 2021, there have been 127,349,248 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 2,787,593 deaths, reported to WHO. As of 29 March 2021, a total of 519,826,596 vaccine doses have been administered.

In the US? TOTAL CASES 30,085,827 TOTAL DEATHS 546,704 – People Vaccinated 52,614,231

In Utah? TOTAL CASES 384,756 TOTAL DEATHS 2,114 – People Vaccinated 478,918

You see where I am going with this… It is spring… Mr. Amazing and I are vaccinated… in fact as of Friday it will be 14 days from our second shot… This is the yellow light… But already people are done… Little Miss’s mom took her to the mall … I am even guilty of not waiting the full 14 days before going into a home …. inside it! I was able to see where my Small lives…. for the first time… he has lived there for over a year… IT WAS GLORIOUS… the weather has been cooperating… we have gathered outdoors… in masks… but all of us can feel the fear dissipating…

The conspiracy theories around the vaccine are wildly accepted as truths… even as testing for children under 16 begins… all of mine over 16 … My Tall… My Small… Mrs. Small… either have their shot scheduled or have been vaccinated. But the vaccines are only 90% effective and there are variants spreading like … well… a highly contagious deadly virus.

I began to notice more of the Anti-Maskers around town… This is the only place I have driven through in over a year… because well…. COFFEE!!!! Saturday morning it was packed… literally a half hour in line… worth it! But the woman ahead of me had her window down speaking loudly to someone either I cant see in the car… or on the phone… she isn’t wearing a mask… and she doesn’t need to in her car with someone from her home I suppose…. but she does not put one on when she gets to the window to order… and when requested too? Leans further into her car and says loudly “There is that 6 feet?” … I leave money for the “next two cars complying with the masking guidelines” to pay for their coffee… and proceed to hand sanitize after touching the card that was inserted in the card reader… Lysol wipe the card… Lysol wipe the shelf they are setting my coffee on for me to get… Lysol wipe the cup…. hand sanitize again… hope beyond hope that coffee is hot enough and kills any germs inside the cup… drive home… wash hands… remove mask… wash mask. I will continue to do this even though I am vaccinated… why?

How effective is the birth control pill?

If you use it perfectly, the pill is 99% effective. Do you know anyone that has gotten pregnant while on the pill? I have 4 tinys conceived while Tall child was taking the pill…. was it perfectly? I do not know… but her babies are perfect 🙂 and I would like to continue to watch them grow and witness their brilliance. I would like to meet Small child’s first child… and see his first birthday… and first day of school.

People are screaming that we quit living in fear. Cool I guess. I am not living in fear… I am living with caution…. cautions that I hope allow me to continue living. Look, I fully intend to go out this weekend… I am going to enter a store for the first time in over a year… I am going to do it much like I get my coffee… with an abundance of caution… not just for my safety… but for yours… I fully intend to see Miss Betty… and hug all the people… Id love to meet the babies born during the pandemic for the first time… because I have missed so much! I am going to to do as much and as fast as possible… because I watched a doctor from the CDC break script and choke back tears…. I listened to our President ask that people stop opening up so quickly… to keep the mask mandates in place… and I am having Deja Vu…. exactly one year ago I watched as people laughed and joked about this virus… I watched as people rushed stores in choreographed mobs without masks… knowing they couldn’t stop them all… and I watched the world get sick.

Please get whatever vaccine is available to you… as soon as it is available to you… please be kind.

This is not over.

Mar 19 2021

I see a light!

Author: Kerry

We are in a dark tunnel…

Globally, as of 19 March 2021, there have been 121,209,510 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 2,680,469 deaths, reported to WHO.

But there is a light! As of 18 March 2021, a total of 364,184,603 vaccine doses have been administered.

a few thoughts this morning as I am rubbing my arm in hopes of avoiding any soreness… Science is amazing… healthcare workers are heroes… we are going to survive.

Hope was not cancelled… and neither was Fairy City… hope is a quiet rebellion. This last weekend inbetween vaccine doses… they emerged in all their love and colors! I am announcing to the world that Fairies get vaccines!!! thats right! Because we all need to get vaccinated. I am so relieved I got mine…. I hope to never attend another funeral this way…

It was lonely and heartbreaking and I have attended too many like this this year

That being said… I lost someone (hence the coffin and funeral)… but more than that… the world lost a giant! There is a massive gap in the fabric of our life… I palpably felt the balance scale of good vs bad tip this day…. and you know what? Ive got some big shoes to fill to tip it back… there is room for more in these shoes… come on!

I am sure this is not the end of the pandemic for us… quite yet… but I am also sure more than ever in my life… I want to live… I want to hope and dream and love….. love so much. I am also sure I will have much more to say about this experience…. but I wanted to leave these immediate thoughts…. and now… the countdown to my grandkids begins!

Nov 16 2020

Comparison is the Thief of Joy… But this one has a good point for stealing it.

Author: Kerry

Cancer is NOT contagious.

A healthy person cannot “catch” cancer from someone who has it. There is no evidence that close contact or things like sex, kissing, touching, sharing meals, or breathing the same air can spread cancer from one person to another.

But you can catch something… right now… infact your chances of catching it are high…. so lets explore a few scenarios….

First – let me cite where I am getting my comparison- It is based only on numbers… https://progressreport.cancer.gov/end/mortality#:~:text=In%202018%2C%20the%20death%20rate,per%20100%2C000%20people%20per%20year.

Covid-19 is approximately 10 times more deadly than cancer in a VERY over all comparison…. because there are all kinds of cancers…. and all kinds of outcomes…. Okay…. So here we go…. Why choose cancer? because we all have lost someone to it… we all hate it… Most of us get screened for it…. we take other precautions as well…. we pray for a cure…. We do not really compare it to the flu 🙁

If cancer were contagious…. and you didnt know who had it and who did not… yourself included (feels very real huh) would you wear a mask to help slow the spread?

Would you celebrate when someones cancer wasnt that bad? rather than mock everyone for being afraid of catching it? because really…. LESS that 1% die… it is true… see the link above.

If Cancer were contagious…. would you run around like people were letting fear control their lives? and you just want the schools to be open full time and all the stores are open? and not believe the hospitals were filling up?

If Cancer were contagious… but there were a vaccine against it… would you get it and encourage EVERYONE else to do the same? or would you assume the government were coming for you?

Let me ask you this… If Cancer were contagious…. but only for one year…. would you go to family gatherings? because you like pie? and you won’t “be told what to do?’

If cancer were contagious…. but not everyone died from it… you know… you had some of those other life long things…. like no breasts… or a colostomy bag….. or… needed oxygen permanently. Would you think we could achieve herd immunity? by you know…. just taking our chances and getting it over with?

I have lost people I love dearly to cancer…. I myself have had cancer….

so if this comparison is stealing your joy

Good

Stay Home

Wear a mask

Wash your hands

Do not gather for Thanksgiving… or Christmas…. just don’t you guys…. please.

I only wish that in a year from now we would be getting back to normal…. without cancer. And before you get mad at me for this causing you anxiety… I’ve thought of this the whole time… I waited for a vaccine to point it out…. and if you are scared of the vaccine… I ask you… if it were for cancer? times 10? would you risk it? WE WILL BE THE HOPEFUL!

Globally, as of 16 November 2020, there have been 54,301,156 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 1,316,994 deaths, reported to WHO.

Oct 30 2020

Why I write today…

Author: Kerry

Globally, as of 30 October 2020, there have been 44,888,869 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 1,178,475 deaths, reported to WHO.

Here in my state? it was a record breaking day for new cases… and we broke the 600 death mark… when this started… and I was looking at the projections 600 wasn’t even a worst case scenario…

It is easy to plug your ears and ignore the danger.

I tried to do that when the virus was in China. I tried when it popped up in New York.

I tried when someone 8 miles from me tested positive for COVID-19.
What’s going on in the world right now isn’t hype.

No matter how much you believe in “filling your mind with only positive things,” you can’t ignore it.

The Coronavirus is real and it’s here.

What are your choices?
You can consume yourself in the news… I suppose.
This is not an encouragement to dismiss or ignore what is going on in the world…. It is days like today that I give myself this talk

“Do not write to forget. Write to remember. Write to survive. Write to see because nobody needs a light until darkness falls.”
Note to self.

Maybe I will die soon. Okay. Consider this my memoir.
Maybe a loved one will be claimed by the virus.
Maybe the economy will fall apart.

Writing brings clarity…. Clarity can help lessen panic.
In addition to the other benefits of writing during this time — it’s a quarantine-friendly activity — putting words on page validates my existence. I am here. I am breathing. I am alive. The words say so.
I cannot solve what is happening… but I can write.
Do not retreat into fear. Extend toward hope. I type on this blog every memory I can think of. Channel all emotion to the page.
Even in the valley of the shadow of death… I can write.
If there were ever a moment in history to empty myself… it is now.

Its my Tiny Pumpkins birthday… I cannot see him

Tomorrow is Halloween… I cannot give out candy

My love of activism is being tainted by protests at private homes of public servants…. and someone shot up the Health Dept.

It is hard not to feel hopeless… this is all so hard.

and so I wrote it.

Aug 21 2020

This Week? Opening Schools Safely in a Pandemic

Author: Kerry

21 August 2020, there have been 22,536,278 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 789,197 deaths, reported to WHO

Our story in Pictures….

Seems dreamy right? after 5 Months of being shut ins… well … it is a dream. There is NO WAY we can send her to school… we are high risk… and people still think this is a HOAX! Still!!! I just cannot even… So here is what really happened on the first day of school….

Had my Adult Children over last week for a Pandemic dinner party… We havent been indoors together since march… here is how this new normal looked…

Aug 11 2020

Corona Virus Chronicles

Author: Kerry

Entry – like 5 bazillion? 5 months today I have been quarantined… 5 months… There is a sense of a false light at the end of the tunnel… but it is a lie… and the second wave is coming.

Every year on the last day of school we head to the lake… weve been doing it for over a decade… not this year

July is full of birthday celebrations and adventures… not this year

I don’t really know what I would’ve done to celebrate my sons engagement- but it would’ve been something nice… a nice restaurant… something. But we didn’t.

We are trying to stay afloat financially… and trying to give everything we have to those who cannot… supporting local business is how… so here is what we did this year… end of school year… birthdays… engagement… end of summer… all in one.

and it helped… a little… The Tall, The Smalls, The Tinies… all had so much fun…. I think a lot of people are feeling it… look who I saw!!

Im gonna paint her some masks… make them a little more snazzy.

And then ofcourse this ridiculousness is trending on social media… I thought about posting it … but it is too honest… so here it is.

Situation in numbers (by WHO) as of August 11, 2020
Total (new cases in last 24 hours)
Globally 19,936,210 cases (216,033) 732,499 deaths (4,268)

Aug 06 2020

Plague… Pandemic…. Whatevs

Author: Kerry

As of August 6th, 2020

Total (new cases in last 24 hours)
Globally 18,614,177 cases (259,344) 702,642 deaths (6,488)

Seems to be slump time again… collectively mankind seems to fall into slumps during this… right now seems to be a big one…. Im picking fights on facebook… QAnon has riled up the right wing masses… the blaze reading…. hannity hearing… bigoted believers? too far? maybe into this #SaveTheChildren thing… and you know what? Im here for that… I mean im always here for that… do I think #PizzaGate is a thing? not really… but do I think hollywood elite and political peeps are abusing children and trafficking them? yes, I know they are… so im glad something is coming out of that group that may be constructive? we will see

Trump is a hot mess… as usual… I watched his Axios interview one night over and over again … not sleeping at all… because well… it just made me happy? why? i couldnt explain it…. maybe it is because he was so helpless in the face of reality… he was less scary

I live behind a screen…. from a phone screen to a computer screen to a TV screen and back to a phone screen again… I am not eating right… not exercising…. not sleeping… not even showering often enough… im eating mashed potatoes for breakfast… but I did renew my aclu membership… so there is hope

I am here for that – What I am not here for is that I look just like my sister in this photo… sigh

I went to the outside this week… this is what the outside looks like for me

But I am alive… and that is something no one should be taking for granted right now… there was a HUGE explosion in Beirut… thousands of people dying of Covid-19 on the daily… Hurricane season is in all its glory… protests and police brutality are still a thing… as well as the karens… I mean… I seriously have nothing else to say… other than… WONT SOMEONE THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN??? oh wait… QANON has that…. how about… nah…Still working from home… still wearing masks… seeing my peeps only through snap chat and facebook…

I got nothing… here… have some hope… because this is all I got going for me right now…

and there is yet another riveting entry in my Corona Chronicles.

Jul 17 2020

Pandemic Life

Author: Kerry

I should have been tagging these posts… This life… this pandemic… this quarantine… this Covid-19… as images of the Spanish flu are resurfacing… I cannot help but think one day… someone will show mine… That is why I take so many pictures of the changes in my life.

July is a serious Month in my little patchwork family… SO MANY things happen… Two Holidays… Four Birthdays… (previous posts) I have been writing letters for years to my children on their birthdays… Let me show you what seeing my Tribe looks like now…

This is what my Grandbabies wanted for their respective Birthdays at the end of this month… not only did I volunteer to make them… I cried a little that they are so excited for Birthday Masks

My Soul brother Facetimed me so my Soul mother and I could see each other… I havent hugged her in almost six months

THIS is how my son announced he had proposed to his beautiful now fiance… you guys… my heart cant take anymore. They let me take pictures through the screen of my window…