Zipper Trivia… just the word… not the actual mechanism…

G-Chat conversation.

Mr Amazing: so bfgoodrich invented the word zipper

me:  what?

Mr Amazing: yeah, he coined the term zipper

me: I’m not really sure how you found that out… although I suspect google has something to do with it… or why anyone would want to know that

Mr Amazing: the google zipper yesterday

me: Although… Inventing the actual zipper…not the word… well that would mean something

Mr Amazing: don’t worry, I sent the same message to a random co-worker and then pretended like I really sent him a random retarded message about bfgoodrich inventing the zipper… ROFLMAO



Mr Amazing: And then I just immediately switched gears and asked about the deployment of his app to production


me: LMAO! OMG! I am trying to cover the fact that I am laughing so hard I am crying

Mr Amazing: Next I will IM him about something really awkward

Mr Amazing: like a lump and the doctor and then pretend like I was really talking to him… “what do’ya think man… ”

pretend even


I meant to do that

me: LMAO!! stop… my co-workers are looking at me

Mr Amazing: Hey … so my mother told me that she is going to stop talking to me, since I totally told her about the whole leaving the closet thing….

and… well I thought that was interesting…

so about that software deployment….

me: ROTFLMAO!!! I have to walk away… and apparently pee!! brb

me: There! much better

Mr Amazing: He still hasn’t responded…

He is probably thinking…fuck… was I too nice to him? Does he want to be my friend… creepy… shit what do I say? Do I just pretend like I don’t see it? Should I close the window? fuck….


Mr Amazing: just leave the window open and don’t respond… and never talk to him again


me: Stop! LMAO!

Mr Amazing: zipper? what does that mean? Is that a come on? Oh God, what if it is?

me: I just swallowed my gum!! dammit!

It’s not like you can walk over and be all “that was meant for my wife”… because then he would think you were talking zipper trivia with me

Mr Amazing: He hasn’t said anything else? what if he comes and talks to me? Is he going to talk about inventing zippers…

me: it’s better he thinks you’re hitting on him

Mr Amazing: Tomorrow I’ll ask him if yesterday meant anything to him

me: uhhhh

Mr Amazing: and then tell him that my feelings were hurt

that he never responded

I just tried to make small talk

like who invented zippers

what is awkward about that

me: “I just tried to make small talk” LMAO

Mr Amazing: nothing

zippers are healthy and normal

me: quit omg..

Mr Amazing: and he won’t talk to me about zippers?

me: I am going to die

Mr Amazing: Fine, I am not saying hi to him anymore

not even if he rubs my shoulders

I just simply refuse

me: creepy!

Mr Amazing: what is zippers?

or shoulders?

Do you think I should try to hug him? To make things seem less awkward?

you know… just reset things and let him know that we are okay

a two pat hug


Mr Amazing: and then a shoulder squeeze

and then just walk away

me: two pats and a shoulder squeeze?

Mr Amazing: that would make things not so … weird

me: Why don’t you ask him?

maybe he has a pat preference?

Mr Amazing: oh yes, great idea

hey… do you like shoulder squeezes? you remember me, the zipper trivia guy

 me: ROTFLMAO!   Exactly

Mr Amazing: yeah, I’m on it

I am going to pray to god the whole thing just goes away

I may pray tonight

And create an altar of shame

me: I will help you.. I have candles

Mr Amazing: He just walked over and asked me to deploy his app again

he looked very troubled


Mr Amazing: but, hey … at least he is talking to me

 me: Pretend to zip your lips at him… like you can keep a secret 

Mr Amazing: Yeah, I already did that  he ran

I winked too was that going too far?

me: <Speechless>

Mr Amazing: anyway, I think we will be okay I just may need some counseling

Mr Amazing: and not type things in the wrong F*ing chat window

Mr Amazing