G-Chat conversation.
Mr Amazing: so bfgoodrich invented the word zipper
me: what?
Mr Amazing: yeah, he coined the term zipper
me: I’m not really sure how you found that out… although I suspect google has something to do with it… or why anyone would want to know that
Mr Amazing: the google zipper yesterday
me: Although… Inventing the actual zipper…not the word… well that would mean something
Mr Amazing: don’t worry, I sent the same message to a random co-worker and then pretended like I really sent him a random retarded message about bfgoodrich inventing the zipper… ROFLMAO
Epic
me: ROTFLMAO!!!
Mr Amazing: And then I just immediately switched gears and asked about the deployment of his app to production
smooth
me: LMAO! OMG! I am trying to cover the fact that I am laughing so hard I am crying
Mr Amazing: Next I will IM him about something really awkward
Mr Amazing: like a lump and the doctor and then pretend like I was really talking to him… “what do’ya think man… ”
pretend even
wow
I meant to do that
me: LMAO!! stop… my co-workers are looking at me
Mr Amazing: Hey … so my mother told me that she is going to stop talking to me, since I totally told her about the whole leaving the closet thing….
and… well I thought that was interesting…
so about that software deployment….
me: ROTFLMAO!!! I have to walk away… and apparently pee!! brb
me: There! much better
Mr Amazing: He still hasn’t responded…
He is probably thinking…fuck… was I too nice to him? Does he want to be my friend… creepy… shit what do I say? Do I just pretend like I don’t see it? Should I close the window? fuck….
me: ROTFLMAO!!!
Mr Amazing: just leave the window open and don’t respond… and never talk to him again
fuck
me: Stop! LMAO!
Mr Amazing: zipper? what does that mean? Is that a come on? Oh God, what if it is?
me: I just swallowed my gum!! dammit!
It’s not like you can walk over and be all “that was meant for my wife”… because then he would think you were talking zipper trivia with me
Mr Amazing: He hasn’t said anything else? what if he comes and talks to me? Is he going to talk about inventing zippers…
me: it’s better he thinks you’re hitting on him
Mr Amazing: Tomorrow I’ll ask him if yesterday meant anything to him
me: uhhhh
Mr Amazing: and then tell him that my feelings were hurt
that he never responded
I just tried to make small talk
like who invented zippers
what is awkward about that
me: “I just tried to make small talk” LMAO
Mr Amazing: nothing
zippers are healthy and normal
me: quit omg..
Mr Amazing: and he won’t talk to me about zippers?
me: I am going to die
Mr Amazing: Fine, I am not saying hi to him anymore
not even if he rubs my shoulders
I just simply refuse
me: creepy!
Mr Amazing: what is zippers?
or shoulders?
Do you think I should try to hug him? To make things seem less awkward?
you know… just reset things and let him know that we are okay
a two pat hug
me: ROTFLMAO!!
Mr Amazing: and then a shoulder squeeze
and then just walk away
me: two pats and a shoulder squeeze?
Mr Amazing: that would make things not so … weird
me: Why don’t you ask him?
maybe he has a pat preference?
Mr Amazing: oh yes, great idea
hey… do you like shoulder squeezes? you remember me, the zipper trivia guy
me: ROTFLMAO! Exactly
Mr Amazing: yeah, I’m on it
I am going to pray to god the whole thing just goes away
I may pray tonight
And create an altar of shame
me: I will help you.. I have candles
Mr Amazing: He just walked over and asked me to deploy his app again
he looked very troubled
me: ROTFLMAO!
Mr Amazing: but, hey … at least he is talking to me
me: Pretend to zip your lips at him… like you can keep a secret
Mr Amazing: Yeah, I already did that he ran
I winked too was that going too far?
me: <Speechless>
Mr Amazing: anyway, I think we will be okay I just may need some counseling
Mr Amazing: and not type things in the wrong F*ing chat window
Mr Amazing: https://www.google.
