Apr 14 2020

Rip off the band-aid -Lets talk second wave…

Author: Kerry

If you’ve been reading along my Pandemic Blogs… you know that I trust nothing our Washington DC leadership says… I do trust Dr Fauci … for now… and I do trust my local state government… our Governor has been amazing! I had no idea… all of our Utah leadership has been nothing but forthcoming… and with our lives at the forefront of their minds… I didn’t know… but consider me schooled… that being said… school … our State Superintendent (Really the most beautiful woman inside and out) stoically took the pulpit and announced our children would not be going back this school year… My lil miss b is heartbroken to say the least… and she is only an 8th grader… I cannot imagine what seniors are going through… I can’t … it must be awful… that said… Lets talk second wave… and how they are protecting our youth at all costs from it….

A little history lesson please… The Spanish Flu…

Between September and November, a second wave of flu peaks in the United States. This second wave is highly fatal, and responsible for most of the deaths attributed to the pandemic… The 1918 flu pandemic virus kills an estimated 195,000 Americans during October alone. https://www.cdc.gov/flu/pandemic-resources/1918-commemoration/pandemic-timeline-1918.htm

The Asian Flu of 1957…

In the first months of the 1957 flu pandemic, the virus spread throughout China and surrounding regions. By midsummer it had reached the United States, where it appears to have initially infected relatively few people. Several months later, however, numerous cases of infection were reported, especially in young children, the elderly, and pregnant women. This upsurge in cases was the result of a second pandemic wave of illness that struck the Northern Hemisphere in November 1957. At that time the pandemic was also already widespread in the United Kingdom. By December a total of some 3,550 deaths had been reported in England and Wales. The second wave was particularly devastating, and by March 1958 an estimated 69,800 deaths had occurred in the United States. https://www.britannica.com/event/Asian-flu-of-1957

Fast forward to today’s announcement about schools…

My opinion is… that unlike the President of the United States… our State Government is doing the very best it can to protect our children from the second wave… I am so grateful… and lets be honest… They are the experts… Leave it to the people who know! if I had been in charge… you all would’ve died way before this pandemic.

Meanwhile…

https://independentaustralia.net/politics/politics-display/the-new-coronavirus-threat-to-the-world-is-the-usa,13788

The point of all this… if you are not the expert… either become one… recognized by someone other than yourself (in trumps case for sure!) or let them do their job!

If you are reading this … you have air in your lungs… you are alive. No thanks to me! NO thanks to Trump… for damn sure… So Thank the ones who are keeping us safe…

<Kicks metaphoric soapbox to the curb… again> poor beaten lil soap box

Apr 10 2020

End of the World… BINGO!!!

Author: Kerry

Soooo This was not on my Bingo Card… I’ve got plague… zombies… volcano … nope… no raccoon in the water supply…. anyone ? Anyone?

Surgeon general has corona virus warning: ‘This week, it’s going to get bad’

The disease is spreading, the surgeon general said, because many people are not following the guidance to stay at home. As the preacher who went to Mardi Gras?? (Do preachers do that for real?) Saying we were over reacting…dies from the virus

More so… This Virus is pointing out the inequality… We must flatten the curve… but we must also flatten inequality in health care… the economy… the level of Privilege… access to nutritious food and overall quality of life… It is the only way we can truly emerge from this tragedy with a semblance of hope for the future. People are dying… just dying everywhere.

and I hear the privileged just say… they want to go back to normal… that they are worried about the economy…. people are dying!!!!

I have my library friend in a motel… shes been there four weeks… I cannot afford to keep her there… I do not know what to do… When you are living in a shelter or crowded buildings with multiple family members… or on the street… you don’t have the luxury to socially distance… When you don’t have the luxury to work from home… you can’t avoid getting on a bus or other forms of public transportation to go to work… Ditto when you can’t afford your own car… can’t afford an Uber ride. It’s easy to socially distance in the suburbs or in affluent neighborhoods… but it becomes nearly impossible in crowded urban areas and in lower-income neighborhoods.

Her name is Christine… I Love Her… I do not yet know what to do… we have covered one more week in the Hotel… I spoke to her last night… she is well… but I can feel her string tightening… and it is all she is hanging on by..

Inequality… Lets talk about the privilege of being able to wear a non-medical mask in public… that is a racial thing… do not make me remind you about my friend in a hoodie… or my other friend who had been raised NOT TO RUN to the car regardless of the weather… how is this mask thing going to work out… I NEED YOU TO BE CONSCIENTIOUS in your judgments and witnessing.

Hang in there… hunker down but keep fighting… Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much… And… Together we will get through this….

I HAVE NOT LOST HOPE!

I am alive… definitely kicking… I realized something through all this
Lupus prepared me for this!This life you are all adjusting too… has been my life for 3 years… Today I fast… with the world…. lots of it anyways… out of solidarity and love of my family… and neighbors… Im an agnostic… what I do believe in is Love… Kindness… and Hope is my religion.
Im in good spirits… Just collecting my history… my story…

I love you guys.

Apr 08 2020

Quarantines… Pandemics… and Testing… Oh MY

Author: Kerry

This week in pictures… so I never forget what the US Surgeon General said would be the saddest week of our lives looked like.

I will try to come here later today and put some thoughts and feelings to these photos… but right now I am emotionally drained from blogging about my tooth.

Apr 08 2020

The Story of my Teeth

Author: Kerry

It is hard for me to talk about my teeth… My family has really awful teeth… a dentist once told me that it was because we didn’t have the soft mushy stuff inside of them? another told me it was because we didn’t have enamel… I don’t know which is true… neither or both? I do know that medical care… or dental care growing up was scarce… infact I didn’t see my first dentist until I was 13 and the caseworker forced my mom to take me… I hadn’t been taught any kind of dental care… and well… my teeth were gross… Fast-forward to 19 and someone taught my how to take care of my teeth… and i began to do so religiously at that point (you’re wondering why this story in the middle of a pandemic? i’m getting there) But then another oddity about me is that i am of the 2 percent that Novocaine doesn’t work on and have even been kicked out of a dentist office for punching the dentist in the face who didn’t believe me… now add to the fact that for other reasons… I DO NOT like to be pinned down… I do not like people in my face… and I do not like to be told my feelings of pain are not real… and the Dentist is my LEAST favorite activity… but here I am 46… still with my own teeth… Last year when I was running a high fever I awoke one day to all of my teeth grey (look i don’t know if i have blogged that before… and I have too much to say to go back and look right now) Grey…. like dead… and they hurt… not one… like all… and two days later… they were whitish again… kinda… LUPUS. Since then they have weakened and slowly crumbled like stone… but i’ve been so careful… and so embarrassed about them as holes and spaces have started to appear…. this morning i broke one … on bread… and I just cant even… I do not heal guys… like it takes 90 days for a bruise from a blood draw to go away…. and even if I could go to a dentist right now… I am not sure what I can have done. I’ve tried so hard… Sooo I am blogging this… to try and turn it over and let it go. What else can I do… So me and my hick mouth are gonna just stay home still.

I wanted to filter this to make it look better… but I didn’t… This is as real as it gets folks

Apr 03 2020

I WAS WRONG!!!

Author: Kerry

All of my life…

As someone who has always been into politics and civil activism… I’ve always followed National stuff… campaigned for presidential candidates… protested or supported what they are doing in the white house (okay… not very often supported) I have never really paid much attention to our local leadership… other than our state representatives… that are headed to Washington…. I have been so wrong in this … because here we are… in what very much feels like the apocalypse… and the Governors across our great country are who really did what needed to be done… our city councils… our local health departments… and law enforcement. I have never in my life been more proud to be a Utahn. <Kicks soapbox to the curb> Thank you to each and every one of them…. seriously.

Today, a public/private partnership was announced with Silicon Slopes to accelerate COVID-19 testing in Utah. Testutah.com is an assessment tool being launched as part of an effort to assess symptoms, test citizens, determine who is infected with COVID-19, treat them and eventually eliminate the spread of COVID-19 in our state. The goal is to dramatically increase the capacity to test. Two testing sites in Provo and Orem run by medical professionals were opened today. An additional six testing stations are coming soon. The three #TestUtahChallenge steps:

1. Assess: All Utahns should visit testutah.com and take the 5-minute online assessment.
2. Test: Those who qualify for a COVID-19 test will receive an email with a unique QR code and a time to get tested at one of the mobile sites. Results and next steps will be emailed to individuals.
3. Trace: Individuals who test positive for COVID-19 will be asked questions to help assist state health officials trace the spread of the virus.

• If you think you may have COVID-19, use online resources or call 800-456-7707. For moderate to severe symptoms, find a testing facility in your community by visiting coronavirus.utah.gov.

• Gov. Herbert issued an executive order allowing remote signature gathering by email or fax for local referenda. The order suspends the requirement that the law being referred to is attached to the petition and the requirement each circulator personally witness each signature, which allows a packet to be submitted without the signature of the gather on the verification form.

• Gov. Herbert repealed his previous executive order regarding evictions and replaced it with a new order that more narrowly describes the tenants to whom the suspension applies.

• The Utah Department of Workforce Services (DWS) released the new number of unemployment insurance claims for the week of March 22-28 – 28,560. Part of the unemployment insurance system is filing a weekly claim, and there were 24,424 weekly claims filed that same week. A total of $3,972,938 was paid in benefits. There have been nearly more unemployment claims in the last two weeks than the number of claims filed in all of 2019. It is important to note unemployment insurance is not a single application but requires submitting a weekly claim to access benefits. DWS has processed many claims, though unable to provide the benefits to some who haven’t filed a weekly claim. Individuals impacted by COVID-19 can visit jobs.utah.gov/covid19 for more information, FAQs on the federal stimulus package – the CARES Act.

• TSA will accept expired driver’s licenses or state-issued IDs at the checkpoint a year after expiration or 60 days after the duration of the COVID-19 crisis, whichever is longer.

• The Democratic National Convention has been pushed to August 17 due to COVID-19 health concerns.

• Information on autodialers related to COVID-19 public service announcements. If an organization plans to use or is using automated dialing technology to make large numbers of voice telephone calls to citizens about COVID-19, there are measures to help ensure that calls are not inadvertently blocked as “spam” by service providers or other entities.

• The outbreak of COVID-19 can cause fear and anxiety for families and individuals. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration’s (SAMHSA) Disaster Distress Helpline – 1-800-985-5990 (or text TalkWithUs to 66746) – provides 24/7, 365-day-a-year crisis counseling and support to anyone who is seeking help in coping with the mental or emotional effects caused by developments related to the COVID-19 crisis.

• State leaders created an emergency bridge loan program for small business owners.

• As of April 2 at 1:00 p.m. Utah’s private and public laboratories have administered 21,065 tests with 1,074 testing positive, 100 have been hospitalized, and there have been seven fatalities.

Apr 02 2020

We will never be the same after this… ever.

Author: Kerry

How did we get here?

At the end of December… 34-year-old ophthalmologist Dr Li Wenliang tried to send a message to other medics warning them about a new virus in Wuhan, in China’s Hubei Province.

He was later visited by the police accused of scaremongering and subsequently died of coronavirus after treating patients. – Lets be honest Trump would’ve done the same thing here… But it happen to be there… and Trump called it the Chinese Virus… Sparking racial attacks here in america … sigh

On 3 January we read our first news report about a “mystery virus” in Wuhan. At the time… 44 cases had been confirmed… 11 of which were considered severe. There had been no deaths yet, but many feared we would see a repeat of the 2003 Sars outbreak that killed 774 people. By 18 January the confirmed number of cases had risen to around 60 – but experts estimated the real figure was closer to 1,700.

Anonymous figured about double that.

Just two days later… as millions of people prepared to travel for the lunar new year… the number of cases more than tripled to more than 200 and the virus was detected in Beijing,…Shanghai and Shenzhen.

On 23 January… Wuhan went into lockdown. There was video shown of them literally welding people into their homes… At this point… 18 people had died – 17 in Hubei, and one in Beijing – and 570 others had been infected, including in Taiwan, Japan, Thailand, South Korea and the United States.

Again, Anonymous said this was grossly under reported.

Dr Li Wenliang died on 6 February.

January 30th – 80-year-old tourist died in France – Europe’s first coronavirus death. The virus appeared in Iran five days later… with two people who died within hours of their diagnosis being announced. Iran would later become a hotspot for the virus.

Italy saw a major surge in cases on 23 February, and 10 towns in Lombardy went into lockdown. On 10 March the lockdown was extended to the whole of Italy. Videos began to surface of the empty streets with people inside their windowed apartments singing in unison…. sigh

March 12th Governor Herbert (Utah) suggested we start social distancing… and if you are immune compromised to quarantine…. so I did. Danielle still came for a Cancelled Spaghetti dinner… and setting up of fairy city (which was not cancelled)… and an outside version of St. Patricks Day… and then flew home the day before the earthquake… thats another story still for another day.

On 23 March… British Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced a three-week lockdown in the UK… Ironically he tested positive for the virus… and continues shaking hands and hugging people. ass-hat.

Three days later… the US officially overtook China as the country hardest-hit by the coronavirus outbreak… after calling it a hoax…. after botching up all the obtaining of tests… and supplies…. with more than 86,000 confirmed cases. By 2 April… Today… this had risen to more than 217,000 – almost double the number of cases in Italy.

World wide? more than one million people worldwide have been infected with the coronavirus. More than 200,000 have recovered. But more than 50,000 people have died. New York is using ice rinks to store bodies… and I will never get used to the fact that you can choose same day burial…. or immediate cremation as your only options for a loved one.

If you call for medical help… for you or a loved one… and the ambulance comes… there is no riding with them… there is no following in your car… there is no visiting… or updates… There is only goodbye for now… and hopefully not forever.

Last night in my tiny suburb of Salt Lake City…. Davis County issued a Lock-down order… beginning at midnight…. It was the 1st of April and it was no joke…. some thought it would be funny to drive around the streets an hour prior to it being a class b misdemeanor to do so… playing the song/alarm from The Purge. I didn’t sleep a wink.

The US accounts for the most cases… Italy the highest death toll.

The disease… Covid-19 … The First Three Month.

Mar 30 2020

If you are struggling right now… you are going to want to skip this one.

Author: Kerry

Because I need somewhere to put all these feelings… all of this despair… We are entering week three of this quarantine… and I feel very literally like I am breaking… not every day… but the past few days… maybe it is hormonal? with lil miss? or maybe I am really just falling apart… how is it that working is the only thing keeping me together… its been raining the last several mornings when I have tried to go and fairy… I’m eating too much… I’m not moving enough… I’m getting random fevers that I know are not the virus… but they make me ache… and I am so tired… I would give anything for a magic something to just put me to sleep through all of this…. I miss my kids… I cannot even tell you how much I miss my kids… I’ve never gone this long without seeing them… and I think Small Child is using this as an avenue to cut some apron strings… non existent apron strings because I am completely helpless in all of this as my kids go places… have dinner with people who are not me… My heart hurts… My head hurts… Mr. Amazing is doing everything he can to try and make things better… things are not better. I lost so many of my friends and freedom when I got sick… to have the rest stripped away by this pandemic is painful. I don’t know what I am doing with my life anymore… nothing feels right… and I cant sleep at night…

I think I need to find a way to put at least some stretches into my day… I’ve showered so much my skin is raw… I’m listening to music… I’m painting… I’m working… I’m trying… I am really trying.

I will check back in a few days… when the hormones have settled… and I am working on some hilarious shenanigans again… but today… I just needed to put the hurt somewhere besides my heart… because it is so heavy.

Mar 24 2020

Quarantined 2020

Author: Kerry

So it seems to me… I would have thought about blogging more as this all started… but I didn’t… in fact… i’m in the second week of this… and it just now occurred to me I may want to document some of this for future generations… So I start by saying this… good morning! The government wants to throw your parents into a volcano because people can’t hang out at Starbucks…

So those of us that can… are working from home… I bought a hospital bed table as a desk… only fitting

Image may contain: living room, table, screen and indoor — Why yes that is a giant cat tree in the background for Princess Fluffy Bottom Charlie Bosephus

If you happen to be my friend on Facebook… which you can only do if I know you in real life… much of this will be a repeat… but that’s what you get … you should’ve expected it if you know me in real life. Just saying… We humans are not the only ones losing our shit… overheard this morning in the kitchen from this fancy office of mine:
Smallest Child: You’re feeding them again?
Mr Amazing: Cats eat more when they are so insecure… its been a rough week.
Smallest Child: Awwwww poor baby! Don’t worry Shadow… you’re beautiful… you too charlie!!!
Me: BAHAHAHAHAHA
Mr Amazing: Food insecurity??

Apparently I do have very clear memories of living in Agoura California… the morning of the 19th of March I hopped in my car to check on my fairy city before work… when a pretty good earthquake rocked my car… I waited and when it stopped I went ahead and started to back out… thinking… no big deal… when my family came running outside terrified… and I realized… they had no idea what was happening… and I was business as usual … Wanna know a secret? I started nightly check ins with my adult kids over a weeks ago when I became a shut in… and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. 🤣😂 highlight of my day. An earthquake… I couldn’t make this shit up guys… So that is the fear spoken of with my tinies.
I present an example-

The earthquake prompted this public service announcement- I mean we have been drilling for this my whole life…. now the pandemic? thats a different story

<Uses cat carrier as a soap box> Well… That was disaster number… dude I’ve lost count… since my Grandpa Eccles died… right before he passed away he talked to me about space food and space water as I was a newly single mom and he wanted me to be prepared … he was a Scouting enthusiast and wanted me to be able to take care…. when the refinery exploded we evacuated without the super duper amazing 72 hour kit I had finally bought at his recommendation… when the pipes froze and the wind took out our power for a week … it sat in the closet forgotten… Corona virus prep- food and water bought- tasers ordered!!! it was still in the closet…. today the earth shook… and though it wasn’t HUGE and we had no property damage or anything- we prepared – we drilled- I demanded we review safety- and meeting places- water bottles put in the car… and granola bars 😬 no 72 hour kit though… Until now… as things have calmed down to the normal pandemic hysteria… we pulled it out… made sure it was up to date… and planned a little better… we also built princess fluffy bottom and shadow man an emergency kit… just In case… so use this time to be grateful… and remember all the things you forgot… we can do this guys! If my Grandpa could get me thinking that way… anyone can prepare-AND put together a pet emergency kit 🙂 wanna know how to quiet your anxiety? Have a plan. <drops mic like Moroni trumpet drops and puts the carrier by the door>

Yes – The Salt lake city Temple Moroni lost his trumpet… it was kinda the inspiration to some of the greatest puns and memes of all time and space LOLOL.

So many things happened as we were preparing to believe what was coming was really coming Covid-19, the outbreak… now pandemic… you will have to read what happened elsewhere… but since I am SUPER immune compromised… the BFG insisted I quarantine earlier than everyone was made too… which we are in the midst of watching happen now… and well Sundays just arent magic without these guys… social distancing sucks… but I’m grateful for for video chat… and filters 😍 love them sooooo much.

Image may contain: 1 person, sunglasses — Tall Child – The best mom I have ever had the honor of watching raise her 4 babies.

Image may contain: 1 person, sunglasses and selfie — She has 3 Boys!!!

Image may contain: 2 people, selfie and closeup — AND My baby girl!

We Leprechauned… and Set up Fairy City… and well…. I will have to share those happy stories when I am feeling more happy… right now I am just missing my people 🙁 Out of town visits planned before the #coronavírus – let us demonstrate #socialdistancing

Image may contain: 2 people, people standing, living room and indoor — Small Child and Danielle … Yes… thats my baby boy who at 2 years old made up the word Smiffbib…. then he got all 20 and shacked up with his girlfriend (who I adore btw) and well Smiffbib.

March 12th this isolation from work began… I left as much love and light as I had that day… and I know the world will look COMPLETELY different after this… if I am lucky enough to come out the other side… I will be happy… but honestly guys… if not… im good. I mean… not that I want to give up or anything… but the acts of kindness … the sheer beauty of the human spirit that rises up and shows itself when this happened… well… im so very proud to be part of it… and part of this race… and guys… it will get better… we can do better… always… but damn… im so proud.

Okay- thats all for now. Understand this when I say. I am good. I have experienced more love… more hope… more joy… than any one person deserves. This life is beautiful and terrible and then beautiful again. I am here for it as long as it will have me… but if I had one thing I had to say today it is this… I LOVE YOU… I just fucking LOVE you… so much… people are good… so good… and we are such beautiful creatures of hope and kindness and curiosity… dont let anything take that from you… now… go do something… literally anything… to make things better. I Love you

Oct 11 2019

Happy Birthday Mr Amazing…

Author: Kerry

I suppose writing letters to people on this blog has become “my thing” since I am not really blogging currently…. and although I have zero intention of going anywhere…. I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you today… If the sun were to rise tomorrow as it usually does… but this time without me in this world… I would want you to know how much I love, admire, and respect you.

You’re an amazing man… a man who has stood by my side through everything… and has loved me… supported me… and given my heart strength and sheltered me in a way I didn’t know was possible…. or needed…. you are my safe place. In the time that I’ve known you… not a day has gone by in which I wasn’t overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude and affection… affection I am not always showing…

Ummmm We are drop dead sexy…. just sayin

My Wheelchair Driver… I just can’t even.

You’ve lent me your ear when I’ve needed to vent… and you’ve given me advice when I’ve felt lost. You’ve offered unwavering support when I’ve been scared… You’ve even challenged me when I’ve needed it most… When I’ve been tired… you’ve helped me along. You’ve cried with me when I’ve been hurt… and cried for me when I’ve been sick. You’ve been my legs for a year now… and Benjamin… I cannot thank you enough for that. You have made this life so much better for me.

You are truly more than the love of my life. You are the most precious friend I could have asked for, too. I love you so very much, and I hope to be with you always–through every sunrise and every sunset… Through every “Hulk Angry” moment … Through every giggle… Through the Dog poop…. Through the lack of Cat poop…. Through job changes… hammer fists… laundry mountain…. all of it is us. I love us.

I would like you to know that never in my life had I thought that I would ever find someone who loves me the way you do… Not that I believed that I was incapable of being loved… well sometimes… but I simply could not fathom finding someone who could ever appreciate and cherish me in a way I could see it…

You do that for me… It has been ten years… and I still feel… every single day… Important to you… Valued… loved.

What exactly is a soulmate? Does every single person in the world have one? Do each of us individuals only get one shot at being matched up with one other person in the entire world? I don’t believe in soul mates… I do not believe in destiny… or any of that other sappy crap… but for lack of a better expression… You are my soulmate. You make my soul happy. You are my soul’s companion, and above all… my friend. I truly believe that there is not one other person in the world who gets my humor… which is so odd… my mannerisms… bizarre as they are… and my heart like you do.

I want you to know how much I appreciate you. I tell you enough… but I do not know how to make you feel it or show it enough. You do so many little things for me that go unnoticed. I want to apologize for the moments when I am blind to see all you do for me… or resent it…. I want to apologize if I have ever overlooked your needs… I want you to know that even when I am incapable of seeing how lucky I am to have you… I still am forever thankful.

I want you to know that our friendship means everything to me… and that I simply could not survive in this crazy world without you. You give me the truth when I need to hear it… courage when I need confidence… and love when I am flawed. There is no one else I would rather lay up at night and talk with about crazy things that only the two of us could even think of…. cue the 80s sing offs… and midnight “church services”!!!! There is no one else who I would rather travel with… see the world… and experience new adventures with. There is no one else who simply could ever get me the way you do.

You have given me a safe haven to be myself and not be ashamed of all of the parts that make up my soul. You give me security that makes me feel safe and centered… a shoulder to cry on when needed and a hand to hold when I am lost and scared in the dark. I know that whatever life throws my way… I will be able to handle it because you are at my side. There is nothing that we cannot face together. Without you… I am whole. But with you, I am complete. You help me believe I am strong and capable of anything I set my mind to.

I want to thank you for giving me love when I am undeserving at times… For your forgiveness when I make mistakes and hurt you with my daggering words and actions… For your kind and gentle touch when you comfort me… for your ability to apologize when you are in the wrong and take responsibility for your actions… I mean… your ability to do so is so strong that you do it even when it is not yours… You have taught me so much about tenderness and unconditional love… even when it is hard to give.

I want to thank you for your continued support and faith in me as I journey through my adventures. You have never once doubted me… and lover… I come up with some up some crazy stuff… you’ve never told me I should give up… or told me that I could not do something… in fact… you have tagged along and encouraged the madness. My positivity and confidence in you continues to baffle you each day. But don’t you realize… You are my support system and my fan club… my motivation to push myself and always reach for bigger and higher and more ridiculous goals. You have taught me to believe in myself and to appreciate my own worth… a task that is not always easy.

If you ever feel like I am taking you for granted… or question what it is I see in you…. please open up this letter. Let it be a reminder of how I feel about you and your worth to me. Please remember how much I love you. I mean… I really love you. I love you deeply… and I always will.

If I were to suddenly leave this world sooner than later… I would be overjoyed that I experienced such a rare and honest form of love. To have been loved and cherished by someone wholeheartedly is a once- in-a-lifetime experience… and the feeling is mutual. Big Sexy.

Happy Birthday BFG… and many many many more!!

Sep 30 2019

My dear oldest child,

Author: Kerry

Today is your birthday – a milestone birthday… And I finally remembered to blog on it! It truly seems like just yesterday when you came to my family… I can say My… Because I am the constant in our ever changing modge podge magical family.

You were young and confused… and most days as we continued down this road to happy destiny… it really felt like it was just you and me against the world.

From day one… you taught me one of the most precious lessons humans can learn – how fierce love can be. You made me realize a mother lion lived inside of me… and I have called on that lion multiple times to your benefit… your brothers benefit… and Miss B’s as well. My lion is a timid kitten compared to what yours has evolved too… never… never in my life… have I seen anyone better being a Mom… than you.

I had you through your school years… I believe your zeal to discover and understand coupled with your ability to acquire knowledge so easily molded you into the smart hardworking woman that you are today.

I worried a bit as moves or other circumstances beyond our control caused a change in schools every couple of years for you, but those experiences seemed to give you confidence, a sense of adventure, and the ability to make new friends.

I blinked once more and Dad and I were unloading the car and moving you into your college dorm room… so proud of you and your accomplishments. Accomplishments are not measured in degree…. income… or any of the other little check boxes society gives us as a road map… they are measure in Joys… and you have many.

My angel girl, you have amazed me As you reach this milestone birthday – your 30^th – you have accomplished so much. You have proved how adventuresome you are. How strong you are.

You demonstrated your bravery and independence when you’ve taken changes and even set-backs in stride and your strong belief in the good in the world.

You are funny. You are loyal. You are intelligent. You are assertive. And you are so much more daring than your mother!

You are determined whether it is running half-marathons (I don’t speak runner… whatever the running thing is you are doing LOL) or accomplishing a task in the most accurate… precise way. You always strive for the best and even though you think you’ve not always succeeded, to me you always surpass! I always feel like you think I am biased… so I always tell you the things I overhear… The BFG is continually mind blown over how much you have accomplished… You have always been your brothers hero… and now you can add Miss B to that list of people looking up to you as well.

Beautiful at 30. So Beautiful.

How can I even begin to explain how much I admire these things about you?

This birthday might cause you a bit of trepidation… but do not fear. Turning thirty is just another milestone in the journey of life. I am so proud to be witness to yours. I am so proud to call you mine. I’m so proud of you.

The years to come will be amazing; turning thirty is just the beginning.

I know the Universe has big plans for you too. That you can count on. And you can always count on us to cheer you on!

Happy 30^th Birthday, my beloved and beautiful daughter! My Angel Girl.

I Love you… always,

Mom